Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

HOLLY’S P.O.V

UGH! Teruk betul bah Jason ni… can’t he just let me sleep in peace? Awal lagi dia video call mencari Joshua… 😒

“Mmm…?” saya dengan suara yang mengantuk sambut the VC…

“You look so beautiful in the morning… like you always do…” suara miang disertakan dengan muka bantaton Jason saying to me on the VC… 🙄

“I wanna sleep, Jason…” saya mengecilkan mata, cahaya dari the handphone screen is blinding my eyes…

“It’s… oh God… it’s only 7am…” saya merengek…

“Wake up sleepy head, go get my son…” ugh! Bikin panas… 😠

“You’re talking about MY son…” saya jeling dia…

“OUR son…” dia membetulkan saya…

“Well, your son, my son, our son, his mornings only starts at 9…” yang betul, Joshua is a late riser… tsk tsk…

“What an influence, Holly…!” eh, memandai kasi naik suara sama saya? 🤨

“so what?” saya membentak… “I raised him for 4 years…”

Check mate… dia terdiam… 😏

“Later lah you call back bah…” saya terus mematikan talian and put my head under the pillow…

But SHIT!

Saya tidak dapat tidur balik! Gangguan punya Jason! 😠

TING.

Whatsapp notification saya berbunyi, saya buka satu mata…

📩Whatsapp from Jason…
Jason: I’m flying in an hour, Hol… I can only call again tomorrow… kiss Joshua for me…
Jason: I won’t be around to see Joshua… maybe 2 or 3 weeks… take care…

DUSH! Jantung saya… saya menelan liur… baru saya sedar macam dia pakai uniform pula tadi…

wait... just 'take care'? just 'TAKE CARE'!

Apakah perasaan saya ini? Kenapa saya terasa hati saya macam dicubit?

What were you hoping Jason to say, Holly? I love you?

Tapi perasaan saya masih.... macam…. Ummm… sakit… thinking of him flying again… bukan saja sakit, saya terasa sesuatu ketakutan…

Fear that Joshua will never see him again… I will never see him again… it hit me, I am not over the plane crash 4 years ago that killed him all those years… 😔

it’s still a nightmare for me, still a trauma… seketika saya terlupa how he broke me down in CDG airport…

Saya kasi seen saja whatsapp Jason… I can’t do anything juga, Joshua sememangnya masih tidur and if I wake him up sehari suntuk dia akan merengek and jadi moody…

Erk, entah dari mana he got his temper from… when he is sweet, he is so sweet… tapi bila dia marah, singa pun dia boleh makan… 😳

It’s like solving a math problem…
- Dad, is always so cold…
- Hudson is cold and annoying… sweetness 40% saja tu…
- Me? Saya tidak tau menilai diri saya… yang saya tau I don’t have the temper of a dragon…
- Jason? Hmmm… 🤨

saya teringat our love days in Paris… he can be so sweet… then the cold side of him tiba-tiba muncul… tidak tau apa puncanya…

in KK, tiba-tiba sweet lagi balik, tapi bila dia geram, dia eat me alive…!