Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

chapter 55

CHAPTER 55

HOLLY'S P.O.V

Jason's words on replay.... Again and again and again...
'as you wished...'
'as you wished...'
'as you wished...'

Sudah 2 hari saya berkurung di bilik... crying myself to sleep, at times I hugged Joshua and cried myself to sleep with Joshua in my arms...

On the 6th day...

"mummy..." suara comel Joshua kedengaran sangat risau...

"yes, baby?" saya tersingut-singut...
"why mummy crying?" bulat lagi tu mata...

Saya menatap wajah anak saya... the copy of his father... tambah saya menangis...

"mummy... is just happy..." saya bilang... mencuba selindungi kedukaan saya...

"I have to cry also when I'm happy, mummy?" astaga ni anak... 😳

"nooo... Josh... no...." I cium pipi Joshua...

"hmmm... daddy?" erk... sakit hati saya dengar Joshua mencari daddy dia... "Josh miss daddy..."

"daddy's working, baby..." saya memeluk Joshua... covering my tear streak face....

"video...?" dia tanya saya...

iisshh, bijak... all those days yang saya berkabung kerana diceraikan, saya langsung tidak tengok handphone saya... handphone saya habis battery pun saya malas mau charge... saya kasi biar saja...

Josh... mummy kau kena cerai sudah, nak... mana mummy kau mau letak muka mau bervideo call lagi sama daddy kau?

"what's that, mummy?" Joshua tiba-tiba tanya saya... "pretty!"

Joshua tarik tangan saya... dia usap-usap my diamond ring... Jason's diamond ring...

"it's a ring..." saya tersenyum...

Kata-kata Jason terngiang-ngiang di telinga saya....
'let me buy you a diamond ring, Hol... because I can't remember the day I proposed to you with a ring... let me just have this one memory of our marriage...'

My body's shaking, saya menangis lagi...
"you're happy, mummy... you have a pretty ring?"

Saya angguk saja... No, Josh... your mummy is sad and she's stupid...

"Mummy..." and my little boy smiled sweetly at me... malu-malu lagi tu... tersipu-sipu...

"Hmmm?" I looked at him playfully...

"Jojo's mummy and daddy gave Jojo baby..." huh? "Mummy and daddy?"

"ummm..." JOSHUA nakal oh....!

"Joshua want adik..." pandai dia cakap 'adik' .... Omg... 😨

"ummm... Josh baby... after lah k?" Oh God please let him not talk about adik...

"Josh want adik!" dia merengek...

"Josh..." saya cuba menenangkan dia...

"call daddy..." overdose sudah rengekkan ni anak... "call daddy...!"

"Joshua Hugh Choong....!" Astaga ni anak... apa saya mau buat sama dia ni? termarah pula saya sama anak kesayangan saya...

Tiba-tiba pintu bilik saya kena buka... Daddy menjenguk dari luar bilik saya...

"what's wrong?" daddy tanya, berkerut dahi daddy...

"nothing..." saja saya jawab...

"jadi kenapa Joshua crying?" tajam mata daddy tengok saya... "come to grandpa, Josh"