Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

chapter 58

CHAPTER 58 - FINALE...

JASON’S P.O.V

I gave up…

And I meant every word I said… kalau dulu 4 tahun lalu when I told Holly not to remember me, I know I lied to myself back then… I went from clubs to clubs, drunk and broken… still crazy for her…

Now, I’m still crazy for her, but I have to move on… and let her move on because she has no confidence in me, she has no confidence in us… macam saya mengejar angin…

Sampai bila-bila pun saya tidak akan dapat dan akan lebih menyakitkan hati dan perasaan kami berdua…

I’m giving you the chance to go on without me, because you already seem so comfortable living your days and nights without me…

Saya segera meninggalkan Chester’s club… tapi saya sempat grabbed a few bottles of beer…

I drove off to… no destination… home? My condo reminds me of Holly, even Jordan and Bella’s house reminds me of Holly…

I decided to drive to Tanjung Aru… the spot where I can see the planes take off and land…

I opened a bottle of beer with my teeth and sipped on it slowly… memerhati a plane that just landed… I looked at my watch… it’s from Seoul… saya hafal setiap penerbangan of the airline that I work for…

I love you, Holly… but my love is not enough…

Saya menghabiskan 8 botol beer malam tu dalam kereta saya dan tertidur sampai dekat 6am… I’ll be having another flight to Hong Kong and Dubai in another week… lama lagi…

Kalau ada flight hari ni, hari ni juga saya mau terbang… terseksanya saya rasa di KK sekarang…. 😔

***

Those days sebelum saya on duty, saya langsung tiada call or whatsapp Holly… saya rindu Joshua…

Joshua, daddy will be back… it’ll only be for a week… I’ll mend my broken heart and come back for Joshua…

Holly tidak perlu bawa Joshua jumpa saya, Hudson akan tolong saya… I’m sure of it…

And the whole week saya membuat keputusan untuk tidur di rumah Jordan and Bella… ada dad and all of my family untuk menghiburkan saya…

I want to be close to my family, cukup sudah 3 tahun saya telah menyendiri dalam coma…

“captain…” Jordy menyapa saya
“doctor…” saya membalas sapaan Jordy…

Kami di ruang tamu, both of us are ready for work…

I’m in my full pilot uniform, Jordy’s more casual holding his white coat in one arm…

“fly safe, Jay…” Bella menegur saya…

“I will, call me when I’m an uncle for the 3rd time…” an uncle for Bella and Jordan’s 3rd child…

Bella smiled lovingly… When I see Bella sending Jordy off at the gates every morning full of love and happiness, I wish Holly was the same…

Wishful thinking, Jay… you can wish all the wishes, you can pray all the prayers… but nothing can change the fact that you and Holly are just not meant for each other… 😔

Memang benar kan? Cinta itu tidak semestinya memiliki…

“Bells…” Bella looked up at me… dia seakan tau apa yang saya akan katakan… “are the papers ready?”

“umm… yes…” saya mengikut gerak mata Bella… the coffee table…

“I have 30mins to spare…” saya bilang…
“Are you sure about this, Jay?” Jordy tanya…