LOVE IMPERFECTION

2*

I lift my chin and grab the straps of my bagpack on both shoulders and manoeuvered through the crowded halls, seeking for some fresh breath.

By the time the final bell rang, I was a minute away from suffocating right after I puked my gut out. The air felt dense and hot on my skin.

I inhaled a deep, fresh breath stepping out of ST Therese high school. Face upturned, muscles relaxed and a happy smiled plastered on my face as I slowly start to walk down the street. Just then, the bathroom crier walked pass me in a hurry.

I blinked, staring at his lean body, his curly black hair dances under the soft wind. followed by an unusual urge to talk to him and without thinking I quickly caught up to him.

"Hey" I said. He glanced at me then looked straight ahead.

"You walk home too huh?" I trailed off, the little friendly smile I had faded. We fell silent for a moment before he speaks first.

"Why are you talking to me?"
He asked instead, his voice so soft.

I bit my lip, debating on an answer, I mean, I did find out today that's he's the bathroom crier but so what?.

Because you two are same.

My mind kicks in, I frowned in reaction. sadly we are. I looked up at him and he was already half way down the street. I had to ran to catch up again.

His brows furrowed, this time he held his confused eyes on me for more than a second and that's when I noticed his bright blue eyes.

I swallowed, his eyes made me felt belittle to him, looking away I cleared my throat.

"Beacause, We have similar lives." I told him, more like a sad whisper tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

He stopped walking and turn to me. "Basically" I added. Curls bouncing over his forehead, soft facial features but amongst all that, I discern a millisecond of sadness on his face.

He tried to crack an unbelievable chuckle at my words. Much to my confused head.

"Do me a favour, please don't tell anyone you saw me-". He paused and looked down.

"In the girl's bathroom" I continued, on a serious note.

He blinked a few times "Yeah".

"Ofcourse". I nod in understanding.

He shook his bowed head vigorously "No we don't have the same lives."  He traced his eyes from my shoes to my head, "Yours is better." He whispered softly. "Leave me alone". He turned away and quickly crossed go the other side of the street before I could say anything else, leaving me with a rather confused face and a slight pout.

I sighed, fixed my glasses and looked straight ahead. For a boy he sure is shy.

While walking, my mind drifted back to school today. Not to mention the mean chicks are in the same class I am. That just makes my stomach twist, I wonder if that's why Mr Richard Ambrose gave me a second chance at redeeming my grades, after all, who doesn't know that am the everyday victim of the group. But, this time it's a make up test and no longer an assignment.

I huffed, my biology test would be tomorrow too and at the same time with the make up test, I guess this is the price I have to pay for not being able to stand up for myself.

My dad and I lived in a small flat. He told me that my mom ran away with another man after she gave birth to me, she took one look and decided she doesn't want me. My dad raised me alone, he works as a driver for a company, we feed on the little he earns.

"You have to focus on your studies alone". That's what my dad would always say when I bring up the topic of taking a part time job.

That's why we can't afford good clothes,  because we have to manage the little he earns. I only get new clothes once a year, on Christmas. which are also baggy and oversize because they are more cheaper.

Growing up was hard, everyone just doesn't want to befriend me. They just judge me by my appearance. I thought highschool would be different. My life would change and maybe make friends. But I was wrong.

If only complaining about the main chicks helped, I wouldn't be here today, my grades at stake and reputation ruined. It only worsened after I told my dad. So, I decided to handle it myself by crying in the bathroom. Ofcourse.

"Hey, you back" My dad's voice boomed as I walked in.  I smiled at him, tossing my bagpack in a chair. The house smelt of caramelized onions.

"How's school?" He ask, taking off an apron that looked more like a kitchen battle has been held on it.

"Same as everyday" I replied tiredly.

His smiled faded but he nods anyway.

I sighed, pulled a chair at the table and sat.

"What's wrong?"
He placed a plate with a big scoop of mashed potatoes infront of me.

"I just have two test tomorrow at the same time". I admitted rubbing my temple.

"Is it okay if I don't ever go back there?" I asked, but it sounded More like a desperate begging.

"Yeah". I heard him say but I had to look up to his face to confirm.

He shrugs "If that's what you want lily, to stay home and not study. If you willing to put the future I am working so hard for at stake then-"

"Dad!" I cut in. "Why are you thinking like this".

"Because i want you to be great, with a bright future and the first step to that is schooling lily". He explain.

"But-" he started.

"But what?"

"I could give you a free head massage and help you prepare for your test". A warm smile thinned his lips, I know he's trying to brighten my mood but, as it turns out. I am stuck with highschool.

*

The following day, I got ready in my oversized pants and a tanktop, I combed my black waist line hair before styling it in a rough pony tail and wore my glasses.

After breakfast, I walked to school as usual. the first class for the morning  is biology, I rushed to my locker to get my things when I bump into the mean chicks, i quickly dodge them and went to class which we will be using our lunch time to write test. But i thought that was against the law. I guess, not in this school.

The long awaiting time for most students came, the lunch time and now I am left with a puzzled face and a racing heart.

Should I go for biology or English?

My head had to sweat making a decision of which test to take, my brain circuit must have blown.

With a heavy heart I started walking towards the class Mr Ambrose said to meet him. But then stopped in my tracks when I saw the bathroom crier being bullied by Adrian, he held him against a locker by the neck, his legs were wiggling helplessly above the ground.

Help him
My subconscious spoke when I tried to walk away.

what?, how can I help, when I can't even help myself.

I asked having a silent conversation.

You are such a coward lily.

No, he is such a coward and shut up.

Then you Both are cowards.

As much as much as I hate to deny that, that tiny voice is right, we both are coward, we can't stand up for ourselves.

I could have sworn i blacked out because I marched forward.

"Stop Adrian". I yell earning myself a unison gasp from the crowd.

*
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