Disturbing The Calm Water

Chapter 27

Someone

"Call my sister!" Nanghihina kong sabi. Agad na kinuha ni Asher ang phone niya para gawin iyon.

I finally cried. Kanina pa walang tigil na bumubuhos ang luha ko. 2 year's worth of tears came hunting me and now it won't stop falling.

Horror was plastered across my face when I heard the last thing Liya said. Hindi ko ineexpect na I fucked up very big time. I knew it was big, but I never expected it to be super big where a life was loss and a family's name was tarnished.

Liya is crying too pagkatapos marinig ulit ang kwento ni Vini. She must be hurting so bad too, being reminded of all of it once again.

Vini was hesitant at first to tell everything but I told him to just bring it on. Wala siyang nagawa, nasimulan na ni Liya eh. His plan to take it slow didn't come into motion.

My chest was hurting the whole time I was listening to Vini's story. While I was enjoying and moving on with my life in London, they were here dealing with loss, frame ups and crime. I had no idea of their pain and experience.

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin noong unang pagkikita palang natin?" Pagod kong tanong sa kanya.

He has teary eyes also but he's holding it back. Ginabi na kami rito sa malaking lupain sa haba ng kinwento niya tungkol sa nangyari. Sa tagal naming nandito, walang isang tao ang dumaan. I suddenly thought of Liya's sister, Bree, she must have suffered a lot too. Being helpless in a place where no one could see you.

"It wasn't your fault." Ulit niya. He has been saying that, probably just to make me feel better. But Liya was right, I was the one who caused the domino effect. It was my fault.

Mas lalo lang akong naiyak habang naiisip iyon. My eyes are already stinging but the pain in my heart won't subside. Pwede ba akong magka-heart attack nito?

"What happened?" Nagmamadaling bumaba ng sasakyan si Ate Mish kahit na hindi pa na-papark iyon ng maayos.

Pagod akong lumapit kay Liya. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." That's the only thing I could say.

Hindi niya ako pinansin kaya dumeretso ako sa sasakyan ni Kuya Flint. I went into the backseat and curled myself up.

Hinayaan kong mag-usap sila Ate Mish sa labas at mag-decide kung paano uuwiin ang mga sasakyan. I have no energy left.

This is probably my karma. To know the story all at once and feel the pain all at once.

I realized that I have no right to get mad at anyone. I was the one who started it but they all shielded me so that I won't be in pain.

I also have no right to hang out with them and be happy. I bring trouble to them.

I saw my face when I went inside my bathroom to take a quick shower. Mukhang nakagat ng ipis ang mga mata ko dahil sa sobrang pamamaga.

Pinadala ni Ate Mish ang dinner sa kwarto ko then she left to give me time alone. I didn't feel like eating kaya iniwan ko nalang yun.

Like usual, I woke up in the middle of the night. This time, it's worst because I had a panic attack. Guilt is consuming me, my heart is pounding fast, I'm sweating bullets and I couldn't breathe properly.

I hugged my knees together, crying silently in the dark. Will the heavy feeling in my heart go away?

The worse thing about this is knowing that I have no right to complain about the pain that I'm feeling because they experienced far worse than this. I deserve all these pain and I have to endure it no matter what.