Uncontrollable Obsession

Kapitulo 23

Tuhugin

Paano ba ako makakalaya sa kaniya?

That's what kept echoing in my mind. Hindi ko napigilang mambahala nalang. Para kasing lahat ng ginawa ko walang kuwenta. I sighed and turned to him but when I realized that his staring at me for about minutes, I glared at him. Kagat ang labing nag-iwas siya ng tingin pero sandali lang din ang nangyari kasi agad niyang binalik sa akin ang kaniyang paningin.

How many masks did he put on his face and it seems to him like he doesn't even know how to feel shame. And instead of him, being the one who should feel an awkward between the two of us because I caught him staring at me, but something else happened, the situation turned out to be the other way around.

So unfair.

I shifted my closed legs into a cross to get myself more comfortable. Inilingan ko siya nang makita ang mukha niyang parang libang na libang. I give him a question look but he's just shrugging his broad shoulders. Hindi na ako mapakali kaya paminsan-minsan ko siyang nililingon.

Zekeil wasn't smiling, but the way he looked at me feels like he's happy. I can't name it. There is really something in his eyes. It's sparkling for some reason. I looked away when I noticed this time that our eyes lock at each other. Hihigupin na naman ako niyan kapag nakikipaglaban pa ako sa titig niya.

Narinig ko ang matunog niyang paghinga. Ganiyan dapat, mainip ka hanggang sa sobrang pagkabagot ay aalis ka na. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagpakita siya sa akin gayung hindi naman maganda ang nangyari noong isang gabi.

Salubong ang dalawa kong kilay na nilingon siya dahil sa kaniyang pagsipol at nahuli ko siyang nakatingin pala sa aking hita. In my annoyance, I firmly bit the bottom of my lip to stop from ranting. I ended fixing my crumpled skirt.

I didn't notice it. I cleared my throat and pretended that he didn't see anything in me. Even though my skirt was already fixed, his eyes were still dutched on my thigh that's why I couldn't help myself but be pissed off of him more. I just feel like he's undressing me with his eyes. Dukutin ko na kaya ang mata niya? Huwag! Ang sama ko kapag gagawin ko iyon.

Tinanggal ko ang pag-ekis ng binti at saka napaahon sa pagkakasandal ng backrest. Ngayon para na akong handang makipag-sagutan sa kaniya gayung wala naman dapat.

"Eyes up, Zekeil. Huwag mo akong hayaan na binyagan ka ng bagong pangalan."

"Yes, do it, please. But make it very sweet to my ears."

I scoffed unexpectedly.

"Mangarap ka," I said while laughing humorlessly.

Tumigil din agad ako nang umangat ang paningin niya sa akin dahil sa sinabi ko. Dahil din d'on nagawa kong mapatitig sa kaniya. And I couldn't point out what his seducive eyes were trying to tell me. I feel like I'll drown myself if I will try to read it so I didn't, but I'm hundred percent sure he's thinking something silly. Probably, his eyes wouldn't blink if he's not thinking of some mischief.

Mas lalo akong hindi nakomportable nang bumaba ang paningin niya sa labi ko. Matutuwa pa siguro ako kung tumanggi siya pero hindi kasi mas pinapakita niya lalo ang napansin ko.

Sa gigil ko nga'y hinayaan ko siyang makita niya akong sumuntok sa hangin bago tumayo at nagpasyang balikan nalang ang bata. Narinig ko ang mahina niyang tawa ngunit nang nasa hagdan na ako narinig ko siyang nagsalita.