Uncontrollable Obsession

Kapitulo 43

Flashbacks 3

My father made me pack that day. Sobrang mabilisan nga lang ang pag-iimpake ko dahil pinapadali niya ako kahit pa sa susunod na gabi pa naman ang flight ko.

Pagkatapos ko ngang mag-impake ay pinabalik niya ako sa library at binigay niya sa akin ang lahat ng gagamitin. For over two hours, he didn't mention my mother. He said nothing, even though he knew I had been looking for her for days. We didn't even talk about what had happened in the past few days. He really didn't care about me at all... he didn't give a damn. Just the manuscript alone.

Tingin ko nga ay siya ang nagbawal na huwag akong pakainin at tubig lang ang dapat ibigay sa akin.

Salbahe si Papa pero mahal ko pa rin siya kahit minamaltrato niya ako.

However, I couldn't help but despise and hate him, not because he hurt me, but because of his deception of their marriage. Kahit naging tapat nalang sana siya kay Mama, hindi iyong pumatol sa kasambahay namin. But even so, she still doesn't deserve to be hurt, either physically or emotionally.

Hindi ko rin maintindahan kung bakit kahit maliit na bagay ay pinaparusahan niya agad ako.

Ganito rin siguro ang naaabot ni Mama sa kaniya. Mas masakit iyon kumpara sa mga natanggap kong pasa. Walang anak ang gustong makita ang ina na sinasaktan ng sariling ama.

Kaya ko nga tinanggap ang binigay niya sa aking trabaho dahil iniisip kong magbabago na si Papa pagkatapos nito. Once I get that manuscript, I'm sure he'll stop hurting us. He might be happy. And maybe, just maybe, he'll free me, and I could be able to have my own life. Then be recognized for my own efforts, and not because of my parents' connections. If what I'm thinking happens, he will be proud of me.

Titigilan na rin niya ang panloloko. Kapag nangyari na 'yon, ako mismo ang magsisibak kay Vildan.

"Bakit ko po kukunin ang manuscript?"

We were outside the mansion. I approached him as he put down his phone, picked up his cup, and took a sip of coffee. My flight is later this evening.

Sandali niya akong tinapunan ng tingin at nasa selpon ang atensyon niya nang tumunog ulit ito. 

He was busy with his phone again. I wanted to leave him there, but I realized that it was getting late and I was about to fly.

This will be my last question for him.  Something's bothering me about that manuscript. I want to know his reason for me taking it, what it's for, the reason behind it... things like that.

He was so engrossed in the message he received that it took him several minutes to give me his answer.

"You know you can do it without asking me anything. Just do what I say..."

Tumunog na naman ang selpon niya.

"You just need to get the manuscript and that's it."

"P–pero hindi ko po kilala ang may-ari."

Nang sa wakas ay natapos na siya sa mensahe ay binalingan na niya ako. Nangunot ang noo niya.

"Don't lie to me! Nakita ko ang sketchpad mo at nandoon ang lalakeng 'yon."

Natigilan ako at napaproseso.

"Be thankful that this is the consequence of your violation of my rule..."

So he gave me this job because of what he saw in my sketchpad? Does he think I'm meeting that man for him? Is that also why he didn't send me back downstairs? And that's why he's treating me like this, because he knows he can use me to get what he's wanted for a long time.