Even a traitor may mend || The chronicles of narnia

They can't know

"Edmund!!"
Edmund froze completely, his breath catching in his throat when he heard the excited cry... the cry that had come from his little sister.
Eventually summoning up enough courage, he slowly turned his head in the direction of the shout, and what he saw almost made him begin to sob in relief.
Peter, Susan and Lucy all stood in front of a red and gold tent - alive and unhurt - staring up at him and utterly still, except Lucy that is.
She had obviously tried to run to him, but Peter had held her back, and Edmund found tears stinging his eyes at this, though he wasn't at all sure why.
"Edmund?"
Edmund swallowed hard and tore his gaze from his family, turning his head to look back to Aslan, who had something of a smile on his face. "Go to them." He said gently, nodding his head.
Edmund nodded back. "Thank you." He choked, blinking back his tears before heading down to his siblings.
But the closer he got, the more guilt seemed to weigh him down, slowing his steps and forcing him to shove his hands deeper into his pockets.
He stopped about five feet away from them, head down and heart hammering in his chest as he fiddled with a lose thread inside his pocket.
"What's done is done..."
Aslan's voice almost made him jump, but it managed to somewhat calm him, and he felt his heart beat slow, if only slightly.
"There is no need to speak to Edmund about what is past."
Edmund wanted to run off after him as he left, plead with him not to go, but his feet seemed glued to the floor.
He couldn't do this.
For three, four? Days, he'd wanted nothing more than to see his siblings, and now that he was finaly stood before them, he felt so ashamed, so guilty it was making him feel sick... or maybe that was because of lack of food? Either way, he still felt guilty.
He'd betrayed them, betrayed his own family, and as he finally glanced up at Peter, he saw the hurt in his eyes, mixed with something else that Edmund couldn't quite work out.
Edmund dropped his gaze when Peter's hurt expression became too much, and found himself opening his mouth. "Hello." He whispered, voice hoarse and scratchy, and he immediately wished he'd been able to drink a bit more water that morning.
He was expecting to be shouted at, to be pushed away, so therefore he was utterly startled when Lucy rushed forward and flew into his arms, wrapping her own arms tightly around his waist.
As shocked as he was, he was also relieved, so relieved he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.
Despite the pain being hugged caused, he wrapped his arms gently around his little sister, resting his cheek on the top of her head and allowing himself to properly relax for the first time in what felt like forever.
He glanced up slowly when he felt a hand land on his shoulder, and saw Susan smiling down at him, tears in her eyes.
Gently pushing Lucy away he gave her a small nod and a smile before wrapping his arms weakly around Susan, burying his face against her shoulder.
He bit his lip against a hiss when she ran her hand up and down his back, just enjoying the feeling of being back in her arms after so long.
He was slightly relieved though when she pulled away, relieved because he didn't know how long he could hold back a painful cry... and he didn't want his siblings to know about his injuries.
"Are you alright?" Susan asked with a small laugh, keeping her hand on Edmund's arm and smiling gently at him.
Edmund swallowed hard. They can't know. They can't. "I'm a little tired." He mumbled eventually, shrugging his shoulders, but he immediately wished he hadn't.
"Get some sleep."
Edmund glanced over to Peter, who had nodded his head at the tent behind him and was now staring at him, an unreadable look on his face.
Edmund, after a moment, sighed.
Shoving his hands back into his pockets he slowly began walking in the direction of the tent, keeping his eyes down and not daring to look up at his brother.
When he walked passed, he wanted more than anything for Peter to stop him and hug him, but he didn't, and Edmund sighed, he knew he didn't deserve it, but it still hurt.
"And Edmund?!"
Edmund spun around, eyes wide and full of hope as he waited for his older brother to continue.
"Try not to wander off." Peter said eventually, a soft smile making its way onto his face.
Edmund found himself smiling mischievously back, shaking his head slightly before turning and entering the tent, allowing the flaps to close quietly behind him.
He stood there for a moment and let his eyes adjust to the darkness, before he made out two hammocks, one on either side of the tent.
He guessed he was sharing a tent with Peter, and judging by how one hammock was neatly made up, and the other one rather messy - the blanket piled up at the end - he knew the one on his left was probably his.
He suddenly felt his eyes drooping, and didn't hesitate as he kicked off his shoes, he did however flinch.
He hadn't taken his shoes off for days, and after all the walking he'd done he was pretty sure he had more than a few blisters.
Ignoring this (atleast for the time being) he walked over and all but collapsed onto the hammock, pulling the blanket right up to his chin and sinking into the pillows.
Almost the second he was relaxed, he felt his eyes begin to close.
He was pretty sure he saw someone enter the tent, but he was asleep before he could see who.