Soccer balls and wisdom teeth

It Needs to End

(Kristas pov)

"Hello? Krista?"

"Um, yea. Hi mom" my mom. My biological mother. The one I thought died, but actually just abandoned me. The one I dreaded over her loss cause i never really knew her. The one I wish I had known and the moment I could, refused to go near her.

"Are you ok? The last time we spoke you told me I wasn't your mother" her voice wasn't as bad as I remembered. I thought it would hurt me to talk to her, but in reality, it was very calming. I needed her to reassure me. I just needed her really. My adoptive mother hasn't been in my life much any more and I still need someone. I need a mom. I need someone to trust with everything. I need to confide in someone. "Krista? Are you still there?"

"No. I'm not ok" tears started to well up in my eyes. "Mom, I can't do this anymore. It's all too much pressure. I'm only sixteen, I can't get this much already. I don't want to be considered the best soccer player just because I was scouted as a sophomore and play at a great club. I don't want to win x-factor and have my life change, but then I don't want to loose and not be confident anymore. I don't want to rely on someone to make me feel loved. I don't want to have people pestering me to update my channels. I don't want my friends anymore. I don't want my life anymore. I want to leave. I want-"

"Kristina Starline Suarez, please don't continue that sentence. The world needs you whether you like it or not. I need you. I missed out on so much of your life, i would never forgive myself if I didn't make it up to you. Baby, you don't need to have all these followers to be you. You don't have to play soccer or sing. You can do anything in the world. In fact, you can drop everything and become who you truly want to be. You're right, you are sixteen and you should be going to parties and dances and enjoying your life. The pressure you are feeling now doesn't always have to be there. It can go away. Kristina, please listen to me. Life happens. Be grateful for all the obstacles in life, the beginning is always the hardest. You'll get past this stage. I know you will"

I know I should believe her, but I can't. "No. You're wrong"

"You'll get past this. I know you will"

"But mom, I won't get past this. I don't like who I am anymore. I don't want people looking up to me. I don't want to go to events anymore. Some people are very grateful for all the fans that they have, I don't want fans anymore. I want a normal life with normal friends. I want to go to concerts and not become friends with them. I want to meet a boy who I won't feel pressure being with. I want to perform in high school performances, not big tv shows. And I want to write my feelings, not share them with the whole internet. I want to live with you in your small house and go to a private school and wear a uniform and have real friends and be the real me. I don't want this life anymore. I don't want to think about my future this soon. I don't want a mom who's always in another state. I need a stable home and a stable school and an actual family."

"What are you trying to say?" My mom really did sound confused

"I mean... I'm down with San Clemente and everyone there and I'm done with LA and everyone here and I'm done with San Antonio. I want a new life. To start over. A second chance. I want to go live with you. I want you to legally be my mom again. I know you messed up and you did apologize. You came back and you're helping me now. I want to live the life I should be living. You can get a boyfriend and I'll go to school and I'll meet some really great friends that aren't famous and ill dye my hair and well be a family again. Like it was supposed to be" I was confident in what I just said.

"Krista, get through the judges portion and then we will talk about this further. But you do realize that you would be leaving everything behind. You've spent your whole life becoming a soccer player and you built a foundation around YouTube and now singing-"