i'm still in love with you || jolivia au

a beautiful mistake

A/N:

helloooooooo beautiful person.

not much to say today lol.

oh wait! I actually wated to mention something lol. My boy friend and I were talking and we realised that sometimes when girls are best friends we kinda like... well not flirt with eachother, but like compliment eachother i guess like boyriends would. Does that make any sense lol? idk about u guys but my friends and i call eachother "babes" "hun" "babe" etc.

is that normal? lol

just comment and lemme know 😂

ok byeeeee

_____ _____ _____

Joshua's POV:

After I was done eating I went back to mine and Olivia's room.

"Hey, Olivia can I come in?"

"Sure Joshy, I'm just tidying up"

She called me Joshy. Why does she make this so much harder than it already is?

I walked inside to see her folding our clothes and putting them away.

"Oh, thanks for putting our clothes away."

"Yep, of course. How are you doing this morning?"

She asked before coming and sitting across from me on the bed.

"Um, it's been good..."

"Joshy, is something wrong?"

"Actually um...can we talk?"

Here goes nothing.

"What do you mean..."

"I mean can we talk about us?" I said, putting up a tough front. I need to be strong for this. I can't show any weakness or I'll let my emotions get the better of me.

(A/N: we love some toxic masculinity 🙄)

"Um yeah sure. Go ahead."

I took a big breath before beginning.

"Olivia, I talked with Matt"

"And?"

"And I..."

"You what?"

______ ______ ______

Olivia's POV:

What is happening...

Why does he look so upset right now? Did I do something wrong?

"Uh Joshy...are you gonna say something hahaha"

"Oh um yeah sorry."

"It's fine," I said, with a slight smile. Maybe it's nothing. He might just be being a little dramatic.

"I'm going to tell you something you might not like"

What the fuck.

"Ok..."

Wait, his face has practically turned to stone. All the love behind his eyes is gone. What is going on right now?!

"Olivia, you know I don't like you right? Like I don't like you romantically not one bit"

I did not know that.

"Uh yeah"

"Good. Now listen, I'm dating Sabrina. And I really care about her. So here's the thing. I can't be close to you anymore"

The fuck.

_____ _____ _____

Joshua's POV:

Don't crack. Don't crack. Don't crack.

"W-what?"

Fuck she looks like she could cry. Ok, tough front.

"We can't be stupid Olivia. Have you just forgotten about that fight?"

"No, no of course not"

"Then why is this a surprise to you?"

We were now standing up and beginning to raise our voices.

"Because, if I'm remembering correctly, you were literally spooning me this morning!"

"That's because I wasn't thinking!"

"Oh, so you just forgot about your girlfriend?!"

"That's why I'm doing this! Because of Sabrina!"

"So what, we just don't talk to each other anymore huh?! That's gonna be fucking hard Joshua considering you asked for us to SHARE A FUCKING BED"

"How did you--"

"Matt told me. Unlike you, he actually has a brain."

"Bullshit."

"Oh yeah? If you actually had a brain you wouldn't be doing this right now."

"Doing what?!"

"Ruining everything! Do you have any idea what damage you are causing right now? We have been best friends for 2 years. Now you just throw it all away for some fake ass girl who's gonna dump you in 3 months once she realizes how much of a lying asshole you are!"

"I am not ruining anything! There's nothing to ruin Olivia!"

"W-what do you mean?" She asked, her voice quieter.

"I mean, we were nothing in the first place." I sighed.

"So everything that happened between us was a lie?"

"A beautiful mistake as some like to say."

"Wow."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said, raising his voice again.

"Joshua, I set everything aside to give you a secound chance! You told me I was unloveable, that I was nothing. Then the secound I break myself away from you, you come running back to me because you were scared to lose somebody else. But I fell for your lies. I actually believed you when you said you cared about me. I actually thought that--"

"What? You thought this would be some fairy tale?! Everything would be perfect! God your so fucking naive!" I cut her off, almost yelling.

"NO JOSHUA! I THOUGHT THAT FOR ONCE I FOUND A GUY WHO I TRULY LOVED. A GUY WHO LOVED ME. BUT NO, HE TURNED OUT TO BE A LIAR. THAT'S ALL YOU ARE. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I ACTUALLY FULLY LET MY WALLS DOWN. I TRUSTED YOU. I FUCKING LOVED YOU. AND THEN YOU DO THIS?! HONESTLY, I'M GLAD YOU STARTED DATING SABRINA. BECAUSE IT FINALLY SHOWED THE REAL YOU." Olivia yelled.

"OH YEAH? AND WHO IS THIS "REAL ME?!"

"THE BOY I CANT"T EVEN LOOK AT ANYMORE" Olivia yelled before leaving the room, slamming the door behind her.

"The boy I can't even look at anymore". Those words rang in my head again and again.

She can't even look at me?

I turned to the mirror at looked myself dead in the eyes. Who have I become? I'm not this guy. I'm not the guy to run around wrecking things. Even I can't look at myself.

I ruined the best thing I had, and now she's gone.

And I'll never be able to get her back.

______________________________________________________

A/N:

sorry 😁

also follow me on here otherwise ur toilet will eat u.