(#1) 𝔹𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕥 •𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓭 •

Chapter 3 - Deal.

~Alisa~

_ Be careful what you wish, so you don't make a deal with the devil _
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Thoughts ran wild in my head. I couldn't sleep, not even if I tried. The sky seemed so alluring at this hour, and I just couldn't resist stargazing. Out the window, I stared with a satisfied smile on my face, as the sky burped a galaxy of stars tonight, wrapping itself in a dark blue blanket of total darkness - paving way for the moon to grin down on the Earth.

I loved the reflection of the moonlight on my skin, I was contented by the calm chirps from the night creatures and most especially, I enjoyed the cricking sounds from the crickets. Everything felt and seemed so serene, the perfect harmony of peace which filled my ears made everything seem perfect... When truly, it wasn't.

Alas, the previous serenity I'd felt, was long gone and again, a distressed aura came over me. Caught in the web of my own thoughts and confusions, I became restless. Scared. Anxious, and most importantly, alone.

Indeed, I felt alone... Although I was surrounded by people now.

I felt that way, 'cause I knew it wasn't permanent. Anything could happen, and so many things could go wrong. I had too many things going on in my mind, and as much as I'd wished to stop thinking about them - I just couldn't. The loneliness and void I felt, was incomparable to that which I'd felt while I was thrown out from yet another foster home. It wouldn't take long before even these people grow tired of my presence, and wish to send me away. Again... I'd be left stranded and return to the orphanage once more.

Would it hurt as much as the first time? Honestly, the answer is No.
It definitely won't hurt as much as it did the first time. The first time was extremely tragic and cruel. I felt deserted, sad, depressed and incredibly hurt.

Now, I could barely feel a thing pertaining to being calm or happy, or assured. I was an unlucky girl, an unfortunate human being. And it was okay, 'cause I'd already gotten accustomed to those feelings of rejection and dismay. I need not feel sorry for myself, since that wouldn't change anything. Wallowing in my own grief and ungentle predicament, would never keep me going - it'd only crush me, and if it does crush me; I'd be done for, 'cause I wouldn't have anyone to help me back on my feet.

And that was the reason why I felt alone. Knowing I had no one to always count on, did stink. It was an awful feeling, a feeling that I'd constantly hoped no one gets to experience. That feeling was torture - and still is torture. It's a depressing feeling... But now, I'm immune to it 'cause it keeps coming back. Every. Single. Time!

Could I blame the feeling? The answer is No. I can't blame it, 'cause I'm only human, and I have feelings and emotions too. If only I'd go numb, and just not feel a thing... I guess, I guess life might be much easier for me.

Sadly, that wasn't even the case. I could feel everything... The emptiness, the fear and the uncertainty. It tortured me tonight, ripping sleep out of my eyes.

While I continued stargazing, I heard shuffling coming from outside my bedroom. That stroke my curiosity to know where the sound was coming from. Perhaps from Kambili? I presumed it'd be her, and I immediately got up from my window pavement - where I'd been sitting while stargazing - and hurried over to the door and pulled it open.

I didn't see anyone there, and I was certain that I heard shuffling coming from this place. I heaved a small sigh, as I turned to lock my door once more... But there it was again! The annoying shuffling sound was clearly not my imagination.

Could it be possible that someone was sleepwalking?

With that thought in mind, I came out of my room, determined to find out whose it was. Thankfully, these people always had constant electricity supply, and that was why the entire house was bright. I had no difficulty in seeing, so I basically followed the direction of the noise.