NOSTALGIA (La Mémoire #1)

XVI

XVI

childhood friend

"Who are you, Stav?" Nanginginig ang boses ko sa gitna ng natuyong mga luha.

Muling pinadaplis ni Stav ang kaniyang palad sa aking pisngi. Ramdam ko ang tensiyon sa panginginig noon na lalo lamang nagpakabog sa aking dibdib. Kasabay ng pag-iting ng panga at malalim na buntong hininga, dumistansiya siya sa akin.

"I'm sorry. I might be a little drunk." He said as he settled back on the opposite sofa's arm, refusing to sit there properly.

Bagama't walang ilaw ang silid ay kumikinang naman ang mga ilaw ng siyudad mula sa salaming bintana. Half of Stav's face basked in the shadows while half transfigured a luminescent glow from the artificial stars of the city. From across the chair, his expression agonized.

"I'm sorry." Ulit niya sa mas mababang tinig.

His jaw is clenched tightly. His knuckles were balled and his eyes were wandering around relentlessly. I wanted to hold him for he looked immensely hurt but he looked angered at the same time.

"I know you, Stav..."

He looked up at me expectantly. For a brief second, his eyes glimmered with the faintest hope. He seemed like a different person. Gone was his cold and concealing facade and here he is, vulnerable.

"I know you from before." My voice was nothing but broken exhales, quivering uncontrollably due to my violent heartbeat.

Niyakap kami ng katahimikan. Naghintay si Stav ng sunod kong sasabihin ngunit hindi ko na alam ang idaragdag roon. Ang alam ko lang, sa kaniyang halik ay para akong panandaliang umuwi sa isang tahanang matagal kong nilisan. No matter how much I hate him, he felt familiar.

Sa gitna ng pananahimik ko, muling dumilim ang ekspresiyon ni Stav. I watched the resurrection of the inexplicable anger in his intense dark eyes.

"You must be mistaken." May hinanakit sa kaniyang tono.

"Then why did you kiss me?" Hamon ko.

"I told you, I'm drunk. And you're mad and I wanted to shut you up."

Sinalubong ko ang kaniyang mga mata. Matagal kaming nagtagisan ng tingin. Pilit kong sinusukat ang katotohanan sa kaniyang mga salita habang walang mababakas sa kaniya maliban sa galit. His lethal stare felt painful and piercing, as if his glare was trying to tear me apart.

I was just there earlier. I have always described him as an enigma but earlier, he felt no longer a stranger nor a mystery. I was finally on his side of the shore and I've had access behind his walls.

Ngunit ngayon ay wala na ang lahat. The proximity and familiarity is now distanced by his cold facade.

"You can't lie forever, Stav. I'll soon find out." Iyon ang huli kong sinabi bago nilisan ang silid.

Kinaumagahan, una kong inatupag ang pagtawag kay mama.

"Ma, you can't do this!"

Nakumpirma ko na siya nga ang nag-freeze ng lahat ng accounts ko. All of my credit cards were also suspended because of her. She would return them to me only if I fly back to the States. Hindi na ako nakapaghintay na umuwi ng Claveria at kinompronta ko na siya sa telepono.

"Yes I can, Zhalia. It's my money, after all. Sabihin mo nga, bakit ba gustong gusto mong manatili rito? When all the great opportunities for you are there abroad? Matatapos na ang summer break. You should be getting a flight back by now!"