Stronger || NCT mafia au

Chapter 7 | "I'm just happy"

Jihyun ran up the stairs, straight to Shotaro's room. Stopping in front of his door, she knocked lightly, waiting a minute before hearing a quiet "come in". She opened the door to see Shotaro sitting by his desk, reading some report that Taeil probably gave him. He turned around to see who entered, immediately standing and bowing when he saw Jihyun.

"H-hi Jihyun, is everything ok?" For the first time she noticed the nervousness in his gaze, his eyes darting around the room as he anxiously rubbed his hands together.

"Everything is fine, Shotaro, I just wanted to talk to you for a second, please sit." She went to sit on the arm of his couch, facing him as he sat back down by his desk.

"I wanted to talk because I realize that we haven't really gotten to know one another. You're part of the gang and I know we trust and respect one another, but I don't know you all that well...and I know you're a bit scared of me." He nervously chucked in response.

"Y-yeah maybe just a little bit." He looked down, unable to meet her eyes.

"Well first of all, you have nothing to be scared of. I know I can be cold, especially at school, but I love all of you guys, you're my family." She smiled at him. "Can I ask you why you're so scared of me?"

"It's not that I don't trust you or anything, I know you would never hurt me, but more that you're just intimidating....I mean I know that you probably don't really trust me so I feel on edge a lot."

"What do you mean? Of course I trust you, Shotaro, I wouldn't let you in the gang if I didn't."

"But, just, why? Not to be rude but why do you trust me? We've barely even interacted with one another."

"Well, for starters, Yuta trained you and I've known him since I could walk. I trust his judgement and his mentoring to make you into a fine assassin. But Shotaro, I've watched you. Maybe it's growing up in this environment, but there isn't much in this house that happens that I don't notice." He looks at her, confused.

"What do you mean? What does that have to do with anything?" He asks.

"The boys like you, for starters. They're very comfortable around you. But I've also noticed that you're quieter, often just listening to the boys, which concerned me at first. Not going to lie I thought you might be a spy trying to gather information." She looks at him, rolling her eyes at her own misjudgment and causing Shotaro to smile a bit.

"But I quickly realized that you're just attentive. You were the only one who could talk Donghyuck out of his panic attack, even though we've known him longer. Because you were the only one who knew that the smell of roses makes him relax. You knew how to calm him down from listening to him." He nods his head slowly, processing her words.

"You found Xiaojun that night when he stormed out of the house after fighting with Hendery, because you remembered him telling you that he liked to go sit by that old oak tree when he was upset."

"You make the boys feel comfortable. You really listen to them, and when you could've betrayed us on the mission in Busan, you didn't. Even when you thought none of us were there. That's why I trust you. You've more than earned it." She smiled at him as he finally met her eyes, a smile creeping onto his face as well.

"Jihyun?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you do it? That mission in Busan. Why'd you save me? Everything you just described happened after that. You didn't even know at the time that I hadn't betrayed the gang, but you still ran in front of me and took the bullet. Why?"

"Shotaro." She says with a kind look in her eyes, "At that point I might not have fully trusted you, at least on a personal level. But we had already welcomed you as a member of NCT, and that means you are my family. I've been hit many times and I'm still going. I'd take a bullet for any of you, any day, if it means you all live to see tomorrow."

"Why, though? You're the heiress, we're supposed to work for you, there's no reason you need to take those types of risks, you don't even need to come on missions if you didn't want to but I've never seen you miss one, why?" He asks her. She sighs, looking at the ground and closing her eyes for a moment before returning his gaze.

"My entire life, I've been betrayed by my family, losing one loved one after another. NCT is not only all I have left, but it's the first real family I've ever had. I don't want to be like my mother and father, just throwing out the lives of my friends and trusted gang members because I can. I take the responsibility of leader seriously, and it's my job to keep you safe. This isn't just a gang to me. You guys are my whole life, and losing one of you is like killing part of me." She sighs, thinking about the boys she loves so much.

"I don't really know how to explain it. I've killed more people than anyone else here. I don't feel anymore. Killing someone is as easy and simple as writing my name. I still carry the same guilt and saddness as I did as a kid, I just don't let myself ever actually feel it." Her gaze became distant as she continued speaking with a hushed voice.

"I can separate my heart and feelings from my job. I don't feel like a human, I'm a monster. A devil created to kill. But I do still have a heart even though I try my best to ignore it, but you boys, you make me feel. I can smile around you guys, you're all I have that makes me human. The only love I've ever felt. And I love each and every one of you as my own brothers." She looks up at Shotaro and sees tears in his eyes.

"Why are you crying, Taro?" He smiles at her nickname for him before wiping the tears from his eyes.

"It's just...I've never been part of a family before. I've been living on the streets for as long as I can remember, until Yuta found me. These boys feel like family to me but I've always felt strange. They love you so much even though you always seem so cold. I just thought it must be because you grew up together, so they had to love you. But it's because you make them feel safe. I'm sure they knew a very different version of you in the past, but more than anything, they know you love them and would do anything for them. I've been so scared of you, I thought you hated me. I'm just happy."

Jihyun smiled at the boy, standing up and walking over to him and wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back, his happy tears dripping onto her shirt.

"Thank you. For giving me a family. I'm sorry for thinking so poorly of you and not giving thinking of all you might've gone through. We wasted so much time as friends." He laughs as he speaks, wiping his tears away.

"That we did, and I'm sorry it took me so long to come to you. I know I come off as scary so don't blame yourself for not approaching me, I should've known. But I'm glad you feel comfortable now, because you are part of my family and you always will be." Jihyun says as she looks at him, now smiling at her. He stands and hugs her again, pulling her face into his chest, making both of them laugh.

"Now you can join Yuta and I when we talk about the others!" He looks at her in shock when she speaks.

"You speak Japanese?"

"Of course I do. I speak 7 languages, including Japanese, English, Thai, Mandarin, Cantonese, and German."

"So you're able to talk to everyone in their own language?" she smiles and nods at him.

"It makes it easy to make fun of the others without them knowing. Yuta and I do it a lot and Donghyuck gets all pouty." The two of them laugh together, thinking about a pouty Donghyuck.

"Let's go downstairs and join the others, I have some apologizing and explaining to do." She says, holding her arm out to Shotaro. He stands up with a smile, linking arms with her as they make their way downstairs.

———
Ok yeah this was a filler chapter because I'm changing up the plot. Our girl is gonna start opening up so that I can actually move this story along a bit. I also wanted some soft Shotaro content hehe.
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