Stronger || NCT mafia au

Chapter 43 | "heartbeat"

Jihyun stands from her seat as Taeyong leaves, gathering her things, she walks out of the room. She stops by the entrance to the main room, looking in at the boys. They're all talking to one another, crowding around the new members and congratulating them.

Jisung's talking happily with Jaehyun, giving her a small wave when he sees her looking. Chenle is conversing loudly with the Chinese members, Kun trying to quiet him down with an excited smile. Taeyong walks up to Jeno, giving him a firm pat on the back. Her eyes scan the room, looking from group to group.

"Looking for me?" Startled, she turns to the side to see Jaemin shyly smiling at her.

"You always gotta scare me, don't you?" She says with a smile.

"Some things never change." She links her arm in his, leading him away from the main room.

"Let's go on a walk. We have some stuff to talk about."

- - -

They walk through the huge gardens behind their house, dimly lit by the moonlight. They walk in comfortable silence before approaching a small bench and take a seat.

"How are you doing, Nana?" She says softly, staring into his eyes.

"I'm okay." She looks at him skeptically, causing him to sigh. "Ok fine, it's weird. I'm doing better now though, not going to lie those first few days were really hard. I've never killed anyone before, but like, I knew that it would happen eventually." He breathes out, tears now forming in his eyes.

"It's hard, it's really hard to kill someone. I promise it does get easier eventually." She says, rubbing his arm comfortingly.

"I know, I just wasn't expecting it to be...him. Of all people, you know? I've known Renjun the longest, even before we became trainees we were friends. We promised one another to survive the academy and make it together. I knew that one of us might die, but I never thought that I would be the reason." The tears fall silently down Jaemin's face now, him quickly wiping them away. "Sorry, I don't mean to cry."

"It's okay to cry, Jaemin. I'm here for, alright? You don't need to worry about anything around me." She pulls him into a hug, causing him to begin sobbing into her shoulder. "I know what it feels like to kill someone you love, and I'm not going to lie to you and say that it gets better. Even after 8 years, i still can't shake the feeling, but I'm here for you. I'll help you through it."

"You've killed a member before?" Jaemin says, pulling away to look at her.

"Yes. It's a long story, and I still deal with the trauma sometimes." She quickly wiped away the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"My brother is long gone and I could give a shit about him, but I can never forget what I did that day. It still hurts me, and I would never want anyone else to have to life with the guilt. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you from this, but I will help you until it gets better."

"Jihyun don't be sorry." She looks at Jaemin, a small smile on his face. "Knowing that I'm the one that killed Renjun....it's hard. It hurts, and I know that I'll probably never be able to truly escape it." He grabs her hands.

"But I don't regret it, and I would do it again if I had to. In that moment I had to choose between two people that I love, but when it comes down to it, there was only ever one option for me." Her face heats up, her heart beating rapidly as he continues to look into her eyes.

"I'll be okay, because if killing him meant seeing you alive for another day, I'd to it again in a heartbeat."

It's as though time stands still as the two of them stare at one another. Their heartbeats increasing in time with one another as they continued to look into each other's eyes. The atmosphere became intense but neither of them could look away. She watched as Jaemin's eyes flickered down to her lips and the gap between them began to close. Jihyun closed her eyes as she felt Jaemin's warm breath near her face.

"Jihyun? Jaemin?" The two sprung apart from one another when they heard a voice calling their names as footsteps approached them.

"Jeno?" Jihyun asked as the boy stepped into view.

"Oh there you guys are. We were looking for you. Taeyong and Kun made dinner, let's go!" He grabbed Jihyun's hand and started gently pulling her towards the house.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" She said with a shy smile, turning to Jaemin as she followed Jeno back to the house. Jaemin just nodded in response, processing what just almost happened.

He takes a few deep breaths, calming his heart rate and waiting for the heat to leave his face before he stands and walks back to the house.

- - -

They all sit together around a giant table, sharing the food that Taeyong and Kun had cooked. Jihyun sat near one end, sitting between Shotaro and Xiaojun.

All of the members talked amongst themselves, forming small conversations with those around them. Jihyun, Xiaojun, and Shotaro were currently trying to hide their laughter as they watched Mark sneaking food off of Yuta's plate.

"Mark I swear to god, I love you but take one more bite of my food and I will personally kick you ass" All of them burst into small giggles, the five of them conversing quietly.

Jihyun was focused on the boys near her, but around the table there were three boys who weren't paying attention to the conversation around them.

Jaehyun sat at the far end of the table near Taeyong and Ten. Despite the conversation happening, he wasn't paying any attention. He was lost in his own world, staring at Jihyun as she giggles at whatever funny thing Xiaojun had just said. He watched her smile and laugh with the members, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Across from him, Ten nudged Taeyong in the side, nodding his head towards Jaehyun. Taeyong cocked an eyebrow, seeing the absolutely love struck smile on his face. Taeyong followed Jaehyun's eyes, seeing him staring at Jihyun. Turning back to Ten, the two shared a look, holding back their chuckles as they continued on with dinner.

Towards the other end of the table, Jeno and Jaemin sat with the younger members. Chenle, Yangyang, and Hendery were currently trying to teach Jisung and Donghyuck how to say things in Chinese. They often burst into laughter at the pair's struggles, deciding to converse in a mix of Korean, Chinese, and English.

Jaemin tried to stay engaged, half listening to the conversation and joining in with the laughter. Every minute or so, he would glance down the table at Jihyun. Despite his best efforts, he was still very distracted by what had happened in the garden. He kept playing through the scene over and over again, smiling to himself but mentally cursing Jeno.

Jeno on the other hand, much like Jaehyun, was completely zoned out and staring at Jihyun. He watched her reactions, a smile on his face as he saw her animatedly conversing with the others. At one point she noticed him staring, stopping to flash a small smile in his direction before turning back to the others. With her small action, he felt his heart rate increase and his cheeks start to heat up.

———
Cute cute cute~
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