Stronger || NCT mafia au

Chapter 62 | "trust you"

"Jihyun? Can I come in?" She looked up from her bed. She was currently in her pajamas scrolling through the TV for something to watch when someone knocked at her door.

"Yeah sure." She called back, eyes glued to the TV in front of her. She heard her door open and soon felt a dip in the bed. Turning to the side, she made eye contact with Jaemin's bright smile.

"And to what do I owe this pleasure?" She asks playfully, bringing her legs to her chest and turning to face him.

"I just wanted to come see you. I had a gut feeling that you might want to talk?" He said, raising an eyebrow. She lets out a small sigh before nodding her head.

"Just a lot of things on my mind right now..."

"Do you want to talk about it...?"

"It might be kinda awkward for you... I'm not really experienced with 'girl talk' with anyone other than, well, girls..." she trails off, a small smile pulling at her lips. "And maybe Taeyong and Kun." she adds with a laugh.

"try me. I'm good with awkward." Jaemin says with a confident smile, causing Jihyun to giggle.

"Yeah sure, that's definitely a lie but okay, lets try it." she chuckles out before a more serious expression overcame her features.

"So basically...Jaehyun confessed to me like literally 20 minutes ago."

"Oh" Jaemin sits there speechless, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped.

"and I turned him down."

"oh"

"and now I feel bad. I don't really know what to feel actually but I definitely feel bad." she says with a frown.

"do you have feelings for him like that though? Do you regret rejecting him?" Jaemins asks, nervousness lingering in his eyes.

"No" she says with a breath. "No I don't. But I think if he had told me earlier this might've been a different conversation. I've known him for so long, through all the ups and downs. He's always been my best friend, and I know that I probably could've gotten there eventually with him but I...." she stopped, shaking her head.

"but you what?" Jaemin says softly.

"I think my heart is already with someone else." she turns to him, staring into his eyes.

"Is that so?" she nods in response. "then why don't you tell them?"

"maybe I'm waiting for them to make the first move...because maybe I'm too scared."

"scared?"

"I've never been in love before, I've never even really liked people before. It's always been all business for me, no love, no relationships. I've never really opened up to someone, except sometimes Taeyong and that's just because he knows my past, I mean he lived through it with me. It's scary, you know? To let someone in. to get attached. Especially in the mafia....it's scary." She shivers slightly.

"I've been trained to be independent, to rely on no one and lead my team. Even with these guys, who I trust with my life and would do anything to protect, the one thing I was always told was that at the end of the day the only person I needed was me. I'm scared about what it might mean to love. to need someone else to count on." she says quietly, trying to calm the shake in her voice.

"you don't need to be afraid." Jaemin says quietly reaching out to gently grab her hand.

"You can count on us. Whoever it is, you can count on them.... and you can always count on me."

She stared at him for a moment, searching his eyes but only seeing a genuine sparkle to them.

"Lots of people have told me to count on them, and it always ends with blood on the ground and another part of my heart broken." she said sadly, Jaemin's shoulders dropping.