Cypress Academy

15. Confession

15.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakauwi noong araw na 'yon, nag text nalang ako kay, Myline na nauna na 'ko. Hinatid naman raw s'ya ni, Victor, hinanap rin daw ako ni, Levi at Ken. Chat nang chat sila saakin at tawag nang tawag. Pero wala akong sinagot do'n.

Monday nanaman at makikita ko ulit sila, nakakatawa lang na ako pa 'yung nahihiyang humarap sa kanila!

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sila papakitunguhan pagkatapos ng lahat! Sasabihin ko ba kung ano ang narinig at nakita ko? Hindi ko talaga alam! Pakiramdam ko bumalik nanaman ako sa dati na walang pakialam sa lahat.

Late na no'ng nagising ako, wala akong balak mag flag ceremony, parang nawalan lang ako ng gana sa lahat.

Hindi ako dumertso sa school, I went to my dad's grave, I brought a flower for him 'cause last time I went here with, Ken, I forgot to bring flowers.

Umupo ako roon sa gilid katabi ni dad at nilagay 'yung flowers na dala ko.

"Hi, Daddy. How are you?" I prevents not to cry but my tears is too dupe!

"Daddy, I missed you," my tears start to fall.

"Cols?" Napalingon ako at nagulat nong makita ko si, tita Ella, rito, pinunasan ko 'yung luha ko bago tumayo sa harapan n'ya.

"A-ano pong ginagawa n'yo dito, Tita?"

"May... Dinalaw lang akong kaibigan, ikaw? A-anong ginagawa mo rito at bakit ka umiiyak?"

"S-si, Daddy po..." Niyakap ako ni tita, Ella, ewan ko kung bakit pero biglang bumuhos na 'yung iyak ko.

"Shh..." She patted my back to hold my emotion.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She said while patting my back. I don't know why she keep apologizing on me, but I ignore that 'cause I'm so much hurt now.

Pumunta kami sa Cypress new park tapat ng Cypress cemetery. Walang masyadong mga batang nag lalaro dahil siguro nasa eskwelahan 'yung iba, may iilan-ilan ring namang mga tao na dito.

We sit in the long saddles in front of the two chiseling hammock. It's 10am in the morning hindi na ako nakapasok. Maybe sa afternoon nalang.

"Kamusta ka naman, iha? May mga nag papagulo ba ng isip mo?" She said and looked at me while gently tap my hair.

"Honestly, I don't know po if I'm okay, but I can manage naman po, so you don't need to worry about me," nakayuko lang ako at pinag mamasdan ang lupa.

"You can tell me what's your problem, I'm a good listener," I sigh deep before I talk.

"Uhm.. I missed my Dad so much, I wonder if he is still here? Maybe he can help me to lessen my negativity in life," I don't want to cry again but I want it out!

"For me... He is the best dad I ever had, because of him I don't need a mother to take care of me 'cause my Daddy is enough." Tita, Ella remain quiet and listen to my rants.

"But now... I feel alone, feeling ko walang totoong mag mamahal saakin, dahil... sarili ko ngang ina, hindi ako mahal."

"B-bakit mo naman na sabi na hindi ka...mahal ng, mommy mo?" Tumingin ako kay tita, Ella dahil mukhang na s'yang iiyak, siguro nadadala lang s'ya or naaawa sa sitwasyon ko.