"He's just a friend" Or is he...

Am i good enough

Trigger warning: self harm, suicide

As the minutes passed and Bryan didn't say anything my heart broke. I felt as if he knew I was right and he didn't care and wanted someone else. I wiped my face and got up and he tried to get me to stay but I just walked away and into another room downstairs and locked myself in there. I sank to the floor as I felt numb I don't know why I was like this right now, nothing happened. But I couldn't fight it anymore and I grabbed a razor and cut four lines on my wrists but it wasn't enough this time. There was a notebook in the room so I grabbed it and wrote a note to Bryan before I did anything else.

Hey B,
If you're seeing this it means You got into the bathroom and I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you and I'm sorry about everything I have ever done. I'm sorry I made you put up with me and deal with me for so long but now I realized what the problem was and it was me. I was the problem. I love you so much Bryan and I always will I'm sorry, I couldn't take it anymore. You did nothing wrong and don't feel guilty about any of this but I want you to know it'll be okay. After you feel alright you move on. Go meet someone else and start something with her. Go have a family and have fun in life and NOT worrying about "what you did wrong or what you didn't do" because you had nothing to do with this. You didn't cause this. I love you so much bubba.
Goodbye.
Love, y/n

As I wore this I cried and cried until I grabbed the razor again and as I started to cut I heard banging on the door. "Y/n!! Open the door please!! Baby please don't do this I need you! Please I cant lose you and I won't lose you. Just please open the door!!" He said this over and over again but it didn't stop me. A couple minutes pass and I can still hear Bryan talking and it became quiet. Then I got dizzy and everything went black. The last thing I remember was Bryan and Chris knocking the door down.

Bryans POV

I ran downstairs to get Chris because I knew what she would do. "CHRIS!! Please help me" I ran to him crying "woah woah calm down what's wrong." "It's y/n please Chris I can't lose her!!" He realized what I meant and we both ran upstairs and I couldn't hear her crying anymore and my heart broke. We got the door open but as soon as I walked in I lost it. "Omg!! Baby no please no you can't leave me please wake up. Chris call 911" I pulled her into my chest and hugged her tightly. I kissed her lips that used to be warm. I held her cold body as she got pale and at that point I didn't care that I had blood on me. I screamed and screamed for her to wake up but no matter how hard or how loud I screamed nothing happened and that's when I saw the note. I grabbed it and read it but even after I read it I knew this was my fault. I didn't go after her again she was in here for a while and I knew something could happen but I didn't go. "B-baby p-please wake up. I-I can't do th-is without you. Please!! I love you so much y/n and I always will just please wake up!!" Chris Tyler and Zach then came into the room again. They tried to get me to let go of her lifeless body but I wouldn't. I just screamed and cried. "Why wasn't it me!! Why did she have to go please just come back!! I wish this were me and not her!!" "B-Bryan you don't mean that. Stop neither of you deserve this" Chris said while crying and hugging me.

At the hospital

"Who's here for y/n y/l/n" the nurse said as me and Chris stood up. "I-is she o-okay. Please te-tell me she's alright I need her in my l-life." The look on her face was enough to make me start crying again. "Well she isn't awake....but she's alive and breathing but we don't know how long it will be before she wakes up." "So she's in a coma" Chris said as he grabbed my arm. "Yes but if you would like, you can come see her" we both nodded and walked into the room. I ran to her side and grabbed her hand "baby omg I'm so sorry I should've been there I should've gotten into the room way sooner or I just- I'm so sorry baby" I held her hand and just cried and cried. "Bryan this isn't your fault it's I'll be okay." "No Chris I should've known something was wrong. This is my fault and if she dies- oh my gosh if she dies I don't know what I'm going to do I- no no no I'm so sorry" it started getting hard to breathe. "Bryan. BRYAN! Look at me. Breathe it will all be okay she will wake up I promise you"

The next week.

I haven't left her side at all. I need to shower and I haven't really slept but I don't care. Around 4pm me Chris and Tyler were in the room talking and we started to talk about memories with her and I lost it again. I broke down. "B-Bryan?" I was just imagining it. She's not awake. "Bryan?!" I looked up and she was moving around and opening her eyes. "Baby! I'm here okay I'm right here I promise" "I'm sorry B I-I didn't think of what would happen to you and the boys. I was just being selfish I'm so sorry B" she gripped my hand "no please don't be sorry it will be okay I promise. I'm not leaving you and you aren't leaving me y/n. I love you" "I love you too Bryan" the nurse came in and she was allowed to leave in 3 days and those days were the longest days ever.