Where there is Love (Asahi x Reader)

T H I R T Y S E V E N

Third person's P.O.V

Asahi couldn't do it. He couldn't tell her. Every time he looked at her face, he was weighed with guilt and anxiety. He felt her lingering looks and questioning gazes. He knew she was confused about his change in behaviour but he couldn't do it.

He had received his letter of Acceptance a few weeks after Nationals. He had gotten into both of the European schools he had applied for but his mind was already set on Paris. Tokyo wasn't even an option when he saw the letter that had arrived in the mail. He opened it with his mother and she cheered happily for him but warned him that he needed to tell her. Asami loved that girl and the thought of her son hurting her in any way made her stomach lurch.

Asahi wanted to heed his mother's advice. He knew it was cruel to say nothing to her as he grew more and more distant but he couldn't do it. So instead, he began to withdraw himself from the girl that he loved. It'll be easier if she hates me, right? That only made it so much worse.

She could never hate him and deep down he knew that. She fought to make it work. He loved that about her, her determination. It sent her to greatness but now, it was only leading to her inevitable pain.

He didn't fully realize how bad he was hurting her. He heard the hitched breaths when he said her name instead of calling her his gem but didn't understand the weight behind his words. He saw her hesitate whenever they walked together. He itched to hold her. He craved her comfort but instead, he held himself back. When they sat together, he longed to mould her body with his so they couldn't figure out where he ended and she started. She was everything to him, as he had once told her. And he told himself that this would be less painful for them both. He couldn't have been more wrong.

He should have known this wouldn't hold with her for too long. She was persistent. When she wanted something she made sure to work so she could get it. She had called him to her house the day she was scheduled to leave for Saitama. She would be gone for a month.

"What's wrong, love? What has changed between us?" he couldn't answer her. He couldn't even look at her now. Every time he looked into her eyes, nothing but guilt consumed him.

"What do you mean, y/n?" Feign ignorance. It was what was best. He couldn't tell her. Not now when she was set to leave for the summer on a trip that she had been looking forward to for months.

"You know what I mean, Asahi. I know you do. You've been distant. Did I do something?" He felt her eyes burning through him. It was like she was seeing into his soul. She was stripping him of his last line of defence. "Asahi, please. Just talk to me." She moved in front of him, on her knees. He couldn't help but think that not too long ago, on his birthday, she was in this position but with a much happier outcome for both of them.

"It's nothing, y/n. Please don't worry, ok? I'm sorry I've been distant. I think the end of the year is really getting to me. I don't think I'm ready to leave." He allowed himself to look into her eyes and saw the brief flashes of relief in them. Her eyes were welling with tears and a small reassuring smile made its way onto her face. Why was she comforting him when it should be him that was comforting her? She has done nothing wrong and Asahi knew that. He just couldn't talk to her now.

"It's ok, Asahi. You'll always have me. We'll be together. I won't leave. I promise." That hit him harshly in the chest. He was going to leave and he knew he was going to leave. He had promised her always and he couldn't give it to her.

"Yeah, I know you won't. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He apologized and he truly meant it. She just didn't know what it was he was apologizing for.

"It's ok, it's fine. I'm not mad I was just worried. You know I love you, right?" He loved hearing her say that. He loved having her love. He couldn't hurt her but he didn't how to grow without doing that. She was growing without him. She was flourishing in life and he couldn't be left behind. He wanted to walk by her at all points in life. How could he do that if he didn't leave? This is what he needed to do.