Where there is Love (Asahi x Reader)

T H I R T Y E I G H T

"Y/n, I need to tell you something." There it was. This is what he was keeping from me. I don't know whether to be relieved that he is telling me, or upset because I know it will only hurt me.

He held my hand, his thumb was circling my palm like it had done on my thigh just an hour ago.  Instead of the calming effect it usually had, it only made me more nervous. My hand felt sweaty under his. I know he felt it too. There were slight tremors that I tried to ignore by squeezing his hand tighter.

"What is it?" I prompted while my eyes searched his face. He looked sad.

"Ok, please listen to everything I say first before you say anything, ok?" This wasn't going to be good. I nodded hesitantly and he took a deep breath.

"I'll be leaving for Paris in two weeks." What? I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this. He could see the confusion on my face and took another breath.

"I got accepted into the fashion school in Paris and I accepted the offer. I'm leaving to go to school in Paris." My confusion instantly morphed into a variety of emotions. Anger, pride, sadness. I couldn't even decipher what I was feeling.

"The photoshoot and the outfits were mainly for my application to Paris. I still applied to the school here but Paris is phenomenal, Y/n, I couldn't pass up this opportunity." I pulled my hand from him slowly.

"So you have been planning this since last year, before nationals, before your birthday, before I had even returned from Saitama. And you are telling me now? Right before you leave?" I asked, my voice was raising slightly. I couldn't even process this.

"I wanted to tell you. At first, I didn't even think I would get in, but when I got the acceptance in January-"

"January? Asahi, it is August now. You have had the past seven months to tell me, and you've said nothing?" I could hear my voice rising slightly and I watched him wince

"I-I didn't mean to keep it from you, I couldn't find a good time to tell you."

"And two weeks before you leave for four years was the best time? Really? Seven months and you wait until the last minute?" My tone was biting and my eyes were cold.

"I am so sorry, Y/n please," He reached for my hand again and I jerked from him.

"Don't touch me," I sneered. How could he do this? "You let me worry and pine over you while you were preparing to leave me. A month ago I was on my knees begging you to tell me what was wrong. Asahi, begging! Then, you looked at me in my eyes and said nothing. You had to have known what you were doing to me. Asahi, you were ruining me!" Asahi stuttered slightly while he stared at me with wide eyes.

"For the last seven months, I worried about everything that I did around you because I thought you didn't love me anymore. You let me think that it was my fault. It was never my fault! You drove me insane, Asahi!" I could feel my eyes fill with tears as I recounted the past few months where I shrunk within myself for him. His distance left me alone and feeling so unloved. The person I bore my soul to and knew the depth of my secrets completely withdrew himself from me. How was I meant to feel?

"I didn't mean to do any of that, gem. Please! I love you so much. I didn't want to hurt you, I thought that waiting would make it easier but it didn't. I was wrong, I was so wrong. I am sorry!" His own eyes were welling with tears as well.

"Don't call me that! You can't call me that anymore. You haven't called me that in so long and you do it now?" Tears were falling down my cheeks now, my eyes were glassy and my nose itched. "Of course you were wrong, Asahi! In what world was that the right decision? What did you think would come from not telling me anything? From letting me hold all the blame for our relationship? How did you think I would react?"