Worth Everything.

Feels like Home.

NINI
So far the night has been great and just what I needed. It's been a couple hours since everyone else showed up after Ricky and I became friends again (so weird wow) and we are all just having a good time together. Yeah, like I said, it's been great. I stand up from Kourt, Red and G to go over to the snacks, and see EJ hogging a bag of Skittles. Wow, he is inhaling them.
"Hand 'em over Caswell." I say holding my hand out for the bag.
"Never." He says, his eyes slightly glazed over. Ah. Makes sense now.
"Went a bit hard on Reds' stash, hey?" I ask him with a giggle.
"Heh, yeah. Maybe." He replies sheepishly making me laugh. 
"Well scoot over, I want some Reese's and you're in the way." I say and nudge him playfully over with my hip. I grab a handful, and we lean against the table eating and staring at our friends.
"So what's going on with you and Bowen? I feel like there is no tension between you guys, it's a little strange." EJ asks.
"Yeah, I know wow. Uh, we made up, hashed it all, figured shit out, I guess. It's so weird.. But like, really good ya know?" I mumble back in reply.
"Well look at you, all grown and mature." He says and bumps my shoulder. 
"Shut up."
"I'm happy for you guys.. Mostly for our friend group though. The strain between us all was crazyyyyyy."
"You're telling me, dude. I am sorry though."
"I know. But hey, you make some hella good apology baked goods. So feel free to drop some more off then we can call it even."
"You're an idiot." I laugh out and he joins in, before turning to me wiggling his eyebrows, asking,
"So like wanna ditch this joint and make out?" 
"Get out of here asshole." I groan out laughing, shaking my head.
"Love you more!" And with that, runs off to the other side of the room, throwing me a wink, and plopping down next to Ash. 
I smile to myself as I turn back to the snacks, laughing quietly at the interaction EJ and I just had. Douche hahah. Picking up my drink, I turn and face the crowd again and catch Kourt staring at me curiously. I've kind of been avoiding alone time with her tonight because I'm scared of what she's going to say about Ricky and I making up. She was, she is, my main person and she saw a lot of what I was going through first hand. Her feelings are valid and justified, I'm just kinda being ignorant to it. Fuck. I'm acting selfish, shitty and cowardly. Better just talk to her. 
I walk over to her, snatching her away from everyone and guide her to a secluded part of the room, and plonk her down on the chair beside mine.
I wish I was drinking tonight to ease my nerves. 
"Everything okay? What's up Neeners?" She asks, genuine concern etched on her face. 
"Everything is good, Kourt. Like, really good." I say, as I bite my bottom lip. I'm overreacting.
"Okay, so then what's up?" She asks with a small smile. Ugh, she's so nice. I know I'm just hyping myself up for the worst of things. 
"Ricky and I.." I trail off as her mouth drops open,
"Oh shit, did you guys have sex?" She yells out, and clamps her mouth shut. I widen my eyes in embarrassment, before bursting out laughing.
"No, no, of course not!" I snort out through giggles, as she dramatically lays the back of her hand on her forehead. "We've decided to be friends again. Like, hashed it out, forgave each other, and move past it all." I ramble out hastily, and wait for her reply. She takes a deep breath, and I start to anticipate her inevitable speech.
"Nini-"
"-I know, I know. He hurt me, and I'm probably being stupid right now, but I forgive him Kourt. And I missed him, I missed him so much, and I didn't even realise it until I came back. I don't know how to explain it, and I'm not excusing what he did, but I'm ready to forgive and forget, Kourt. I need this." I interrupt her, the words just falling out of my mouth. She tilts her head at me, looking a little entertained, and the confusion I feel starts to take over my nerves.
"What?" I ask her.
"You done?" She replies with an eyebrow cocked, and I nod in response.
"Fuck Nins. I don't know. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I understand why you'd allow this guy back into your life. You know all the things he did, you know how I feel, so I'm not going to bring it up. But, I can see that you're happy Nins, like genuinely happy and it's something we haven't seen in such a long time.. If Ricky is part of why you're smiling, then who am I to not want that for you? As long as you're happy, and it's obvious that you are. I think it's just gonna take some time for me to forgive him, but I support you and I'm always going to be here for you."
"I know it's gonna take some getting used to, and I am so grateful for your support, always." 
"Well, you do the same for me Neeners. We're an unstoppable force, no matter what."
"You are the best friend in the world, Kourt. Thank you."
"Yeah, yeah. And for the record, I really am happy for you both. And for our friends. Maybe we can start up a group chat like the old days." She asks with a smile.
"Not a bad idea, but maybe in a couple weeks haha. Let things settle in a little."
"True. Also, sorry for blurting out if y'all had sex. My bad. Speaking of, how is that dry spell going for you?" She asks with a mischievous smirk.
"I take it back, you're an asshole." I say with a groan, as she gets up and takes my hand.
"Come on, let's head back to our friends." She says with a laugh and we head back to the group who are currently engrossed in something Red has said. Kourt sits next to Carlos and EJ, as I stay standing, taking in all the smiling faces of my friends. Then I reach Ricky's face, and he looks a little flushed. 
"It was hilarious. One second Ricky and I were skating together, and then next he was splayed out on ground, mouth full of dirt. I still don't know how he managed to not lose a tooth!" Red exclaims with laughter, and the rest of us can't help but join in as we look at Ricky's scowl. That explains the redness. He shakes his head, and throwing his hands in the air he starts to say,
"It fucking hurt, and Red just stood there laughing as my mouth was full of shit, and my nose was bleeding." We all pause a little before looking at each other and giggling all over again.
"You guys suck." Ricky mutters and takes a drink from his cup, causing us to laugh even more. I try my hardest to hide my smile, but Ricky looks at me with an eyebrow raised and a small smile on his face. Wow, he is gorgeous. Oh how about we not go there right now Nina. Instead I just smile back at him, and take another sip from my drink. The whole group is too busy listening to Red to notice this small interaction between Ricky and I so it feels sort of intimate. I don't know, this is all still new.. But also familiar. I don't know. I like it though. I look back at Ricky who glances up at me at the same time.
'Hi' he mouths at me, causing me to smile once more. 
'Hey' I mouth back at him.
'You okay?'
I nod back.
He looks over at the door that leads upstairs before mouthing 'Wanna go outside?'
Do I? Who am I kidding? Of course I do.
I respond by turning around and quietly heading up the steps. Why am I nervous? I bite my lip and rub my hands sheepishly on my jumper as I walk upstairs. I turn to head out to Reds back patio, opening the door and sitting in one of the seats. The fresh air is really nice, especially after being in Reds basement for a few hours. I hear the door open and shut, and Ricky walking out with a bag of Ruffles, a couple bottles of juice and a coy smile.
"Thank you." I say as he sits in front of me, handing me the bottle of apple juice and placing the chips on a chair beside us. 
"It was getting a little stuffy in there, right?" He asks as he leans back comfortably on his chair and inhaling a deep breath of air. 
"Hmm, or maybe you were just needing an escape from Red embarrassing you." I reply back cheekily. 
He looks at me, fake hurt on his face, before scratching the back of his head and nodding. 
"Yeah, a little. It really did hurt though. Fucking Red couldn't stop laughing."
"Sorry to say Bowen, but it was kinda funny." I say back laughing a little,
"I'm glad my pain brings you such joy, Roberts." He laughs back, and opens the lid of his orange juice. Gross.
"You still like that stuff?" I ask, scrunching my face in disgust, and he looks at his bottle before taking a big gulp of the bitter liquid.
"Can't beat the original Nins. All these new flavours come out, and sure, people like them for a while, but they all seem to eventually come back to the original." He says as he looks up at me through his lashes. Gulp. Why did that make me feel things. Why did a statement about fucking juice make my heart race?
"So how's your night going?" I ask as an excuse to keep the focus off me for a little.
"You know what, it's going really well actually. It feels pretty good being together with everyone again, especially since you and I are back on good terms, you know?"
"Oh my gosh, I know what you mean. I thought I was being weird so being so happy tonight, so I'm so glad you said that. I don't feel as stupid ha." I trail off, a little embarrassed to admit.
"Na, I'm feeling giddy as shit." He says back laughing with me, and I light up seeing his smile. It's been a hot minute since I have seen that smile. 
"And what about you, Nins? Enjoying your party?" He asks, grabbing a handful of chips and facing me.
"It is barely a party, thank you. But yes, it's just what I needed. I missed everyone so much at YAC, so I love when we are all together." I say smiling. Yes, Ricky included. 
"Well, if you weren't made aware, we are all nothing without you. You're the glue, Roberts." Ricky tells me, and yet again my heart races, and I feel myself blush.
"Still the charmer, huh?" I tell him, my voice quiet as we stare into each others eyes. We lean closer to each other, and my heart accelerates. Is this happening? 
"Somethings never change." He tells me with a wink, and stuffs more food into his mouth. Huh. I'm gonna ignore the slight disappointment I feel. He leans back again on his chair, and I follow suit. I don't know what I was thinking, we literally just became friends again. Why would I think he's kiss me? Why would I want him to kiss me.. Fuck.
"When are you working tomorrow? Since we are friends again, I think I'm deserving of a free drink." He says, grinning at me. 
"I've got the next couple days off actually, so looks like you're gonna have to actually spend some money." I reply back, and steal some chips from the bag. "Speaking of, are you working this summer?" I continue.
"Kind of. I help out at the skate shop with Red when they need an extra hand, as well as mowing a few lawns every week, but otherwise I'm pretty free. What are you doing on your days off?"
"Oh what a lovely young man, you are little Richie." I say teasingly, referring to a name one of his neighbours calls him, "I don't really have anything planned. Everyone is working, or busy, so I was just gonna chill really. Nothing exciting." I say with a shrug. I sort of wanted to do something, but as I said, they're all busy. Boohoo. 
"Firstly, shut up. Only Mrs. Norris can call me that. Secondly, I'm free? If you wanna hang. I don't know, you don't have to, just yeah ha." He says, trailing off a little as his cheeks flush. Is he nervous? So freaking cute. 
"Oh? Really? You wanna hang out with me, huh?" I ask playfully and I pop a chip into my mouth. Honestly, I didn't think to ask, because well, we weren't talking at that stage.
"You're not that bad, Roberts." He says with a wink, the flush still apparent on his cheeks.
"Geez, thanks Bowen," I say and playfully nudge his shoulder. "I'd be honoured to hang out with you, Ricky." I say genuinely, and smile at him. 
"You're making me blush." He says accusingly, causing me to laugh.
"I can see that." I tease, and throw him a wink. 
"Shut up," He groans into his arms, hiding his face and my laughing only gets stronger, and soon he joins in. It's so damn easy with him, and it's crazy how comfortable I feel already. It's been like four hours. I shake my head at the thought, causing Ricky to look at me confused.
"I was thinking about how at ease I feel right now. It's like we're meant to be in each others lives, ya know?" I ask, and feel the blush rise to my cheeks now. 
He smiles and nods, "Because we are Roberts. You're never getting rid of me again." He says, in a joking tone, but as we stare at each other, we both know he isn't joking. Butterflies. Fuck.
We stare at each other, longer than appropriate, just in silence. From the outside in, this would probably look either really strange, or really intimate. But to me? Well. 
It feels like home.