Worth Everything.

Bestfriends.

RICKY
"So fucking leave,"
I flinch back, her words hitting me like acid.
I stand there frozen, looking at the ground. It's the middle of the night, she's drunk, I can't leave her out here alone..
"Nini-" I start to say before she stands up abruptly and looks me dead in the eye,
"Go." She whispers angrily up at me, and holds her stare until all of a sudden, she kisses me. What.
And just for a moment, I kiss her back, before pulling myself away. She's drunk, and I can't take advantage of that. She looks at me, embarrassment evident,
"I-" she starts to say, and then we hear someone coming.
I turn around to see Red and Kourtney behind me.
"Let's go Ricky," Red says to me grabbing my arm. Kourtney walks past, avoiding eye contact as she makes her way to Nini who is back to staring at the ground. Did they see what just happened?
"Come on man," Red turns me around, practically dragging me away from Nini. As we walk off I swear I hear Nini start to sob.

—FLASHBACK—
1 year 4 months ago

Here's a recap of what's been going on in the 8 months that my girlfriend has been at the YAC.
• We've had sex. Like a lot. Like every time she is back, and every time I go visit her.
• My mom and dad legally divorced. She's still with Todd. I'm still not completely over it.
• There have been two more musical productions, Beauty and the Beast. I played Chip.
And The Great Showman (yes the same movie I shat on when I watched it with Nini) I played Phillip Carlyle. Crushed them both honestly.
• Officially have an anxiety disorder, specifically Panic Disorder.
• Gina moved in with Ashlyn and her parents.
• I go to private and group therapy.
• My dad and I do weekly recaps every Friday, it's made us even closer.
• Red and I have learnt some sick new skateboarding tricks.
• EJ and I are actually pretty good friends??
• I've started taking medication for my anxiety. They make me feel weird and not myself.
• Somehow I've fallen more and more in love with Nini.
• Sex sex sex sex sex sex.
———————
"Dad, can I stay at Reds tonight? His parents have gone away to an allergist expo or something,"
I ask my dad as I walk into the living room with a cup of coffee for him,
"Yeah sure. Thanks for the coffee son," he replies back, grabbing the mug as I sit on one of the sofas.
"So what have you and Big Red got planned for tonight?" He asks casually,
"Probably just video games, I think EJ and Carlos are coming over too." I reply back,
"Oh nice." He replies, and take a loud sip of his drink, before sighing and says,
"So your mum wants you to go to Chicago for the long weekend."
"But Ninis coming home for that weekend, Dad." I say back, looking at him incredulously.
"I know, but Lyn - sorry, I mean your mom really misses you." He says, giving me an awkward smile.
"Well, she should have thought about that before she left!" I say, standing up. What the fuck.
"Ricky, calm down," my dad says to me gently but sternly, and I sit back down,
"It's up to you Son, I support you either way." He adds on, and I nod at him,
"Thanks Dad, sorry for losing my cool for a second"
He smiles at me knowingly, and then grabs the remote to turn the TV on.
I don't want to fucking go. I don't care. But I miss my Mom. I haven't seen her in like 4 months. But I'm so excited to see my girl. Fuck. My mom shouldn't have fucking left. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
"Deep breaths Rickster," dad tells me, noticing that I've been in my head a little too long.
"Thanks." I mutter and stand to leave. Walking upstairs I FaceTime Nini, she always makes things better. She picks up on the first ring,
"Hey baby," she says. God, she is so beautiful.
"Hi my love," I say back smiling,
"Aw you guys are so cute," I hear Kaia say from behind Nini,
"Sorry babe, Kaia and Em were just leaving, gimme a second," Nins says and puts her phone down, I hear her shoo her friends out her room and then see her gorgeous face back on my screen,
"Hi." She says again,
"Hey,"
"I love you." Nini says, making me smile like an idiot at my phone.
"I love you too, dork. I miss you," I tell her, with a little pout. The things this girl does to me.
"I miss you more! But I'll be home in like two weeks, and then you'll get sick of me." She teases and I instantly smile.
Wait, shit, I don't know if I'll be here. No I will be here, I'm not going. Fuck I don't, hmm.
"Baby, you good?" I hear her asking, I must have spaced out again. These meds are messing with me hardcore.
"Yeah sorry Nins, just," I pause,
"What's up love?" She asks, her voice so full of love.
"Dad just told me that my Mom wants me to visit her in Chicago over the long weekend. I don't really know what to do," I say, and watch her face drop a little. She's quiet for a little while, and then looks into the camera and says,
"I think you should go see her,"
"I don't even want to go, I want to be with you," I tell her, words flying out of my mouth.
"Look baby, as much as I would love to have you all to myself, I think deep down you'll regret not going. You miss your mom, she misses you, you should go."
"But I miss you too," I say sadly, knowing she's right.
"And I miss you, but you need to do this baby." She tells me with a small sad smile,
"I love you so much Nins," I say, leaning against my doorframe,
"I know," She says with a wink.
How did I get so lucky?

— END OF FLASHBACK —

NINI
I wake up in my bed with a sore head and a heavy heart. Seeing Ricky again brought back so many feelings I kept bottled up. I knew I wasn't entirely over it, but I didn't know how angry I was-am- until I saw him. And then we kissed. I kissed him. Why am I throwing myself at my exes all of a sudden. What the fuck is happening?
Gotta stop thinking about it.
I reach my hand out wanting to grab my phone on my bedside table and instead hit the person next to me.
Wait what! Who the fuck is next to me. I turn my body slowly around, and, thank god, it's only Kourtney. Holy that sobered me up almost completely.
I grab my phone, relieved to be next to my best friend and not one of my aforementioned exes (seriously), and look at the time: 10:47 am. I have a few messages from my YAC friends as well as Ash and Gina, and Seb who I didn't get to catch up with last night, and a new message from an unsaved number. Please don't be Ricky. Opening it, I read,
'Hey Nini - T.'
Shit, how did Tyler get my number. Huh.
Tyler is a guy from the YAC, he played Evan Hansen in Dear Evan Hansen and we, you know, kind of shared a few nights together in the midst of it. I'm not a slut, that's such an old fashioned way of thinking. Like we're in the 21st century, a woman can do whatever she wants with her body. And I wanted to have sex with Tyler and he wanted to have sex with me, so it happened. And then it happened again and again. It was fun, and exciting, but we stopped, and then we graduated and honestly I just thought I wouldn't see him again.
I throw my head back dramatically into the pillow waking Kourtney up.
"Shut up," she says groggily, and begins to sit up.
"That was an interesting night. You okay?" She asks through a yawn. Seriously the girl doesn't really get a hangover. So jealous.
"I don't know," replying honestly,
"But thanks for being there."
"Of course girl, always," she says and lies back down.
We sit in comfortable silence for a couple minutes and my phone goes off again,
"Your phones been blowing up all morning, who is texting you?" She says and looks over my shoulder to see,
'Kinda miss u' with a photo attached to it of him pouting,
"Oh god, is that Tyler from your show?" She asks teasingly,
"Mmmhm," I mumble back, hiding my face in embarrassment.
"Girl he is so cute, still don't know why you turned him down," she says referring to the few times Tyler asked me out and I politely rejected,
"Ugh I didn't have time for a relationship then. With the studying and the rehearsals and University applications. Besides I didn't want to be in a relationship, I still don't." I say, peeping the photo again. He is very cute.
"Sure Neeners, whatever you say" she says to me shaking her head slightly,
"Don't start Kourt," I say to my best friend. I know where she's going with this and I don't need to be reminded of Ricky.
"I didn't say anything Nins," she retorts and I lean my head against her shoulder.
"Are you gonna reply back to Tyler? He's a looker," Kourt says,
"Maybe later." I say, yawning before getting up and saying,
"Let's go get some food," holding my hand out for Kourt to take, and we both head downstairs.

RICKY
Nini kissed me last night. Holy shit, we kissed. It was only because she was drunk. But she wouldn't have done it if she didn't want to. Shit. What does this mean? Should I text her?
"Dude, shut up." Red groans from beside me,
"I didn't say anything," I ask confused,
"You've literally been talking about how Nini kissed you last night for the past 5 minutes."
Oh, I didn't realise I was saying that out loud. My bad.
"Sorry man. I'm just confused. I thought that chapter was closed," I tell him, "we kissed Red."
"I know. I saw it. Imagine how Nini feels right now though," he says shortly, and that shuts me up.
"Just give her some space man. She's been back for like 1 day. She saw you for the first time since you guys broke up, it's got to be overwhelming for her."
"I didn't want to break up, you know that," I mutter under my breath,
"But you did, and we all have to live with the consequences of it."
I hate when Red berates me like this, even worse when he's right.
"Let it cool for a bit okay man?"
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'll drop it,"
"Good, now pick up the controller. Your hands are fidgeting and since you can't text your ex, you may as well get your ass beat."