Worth Everything.

Finally.

NINI
The night ended not too long after Ricky and I went back downstairs. After the whole staring into each others eyes, longingly may I add, we both decided that we'd been upstairs for a while and joined everyone soon after. Of course, they all asked what we were up to, wiggling their eyebrows and making crude jokes, but they knew nothing happened. We eventually just ended up cleaning up a little, throwing a couple mattresses on the ground,  and making ourselves comfortable as we watched HSM. Yes, it wouldn't be a successful night if we didn't watch the movie that brought us all together. I snuck a couple glances at Ricky, him catching me every time and smiling to himself before sleep overtook me. So here I am, cleaning the remainder of the mess as my wonderful friends either sleep, or have had to leave for their busy lives. Assholes. 
"What's the time?" EJ groans from the couch as he slowly gets up. 
"10:40" I reply back, whispering, not wanting to disturb the others. 
"Ugh, fuck. I have to be at work in 20 minutes." He says as he gets up and stretches. "That couch fucked my back up." He groans out, rubbing his back.
"No, sweetie, that would be because you tried to be Martha last night, and blew your back out." I tell him, laughing quietly at the memory of him trying to 'pop and lock, and jam and break.' 
"Well, I bet I looked good doing it." He says as he slowly gathers his things. 
"Obviously Caswell." I lie, not wanting to hurt his fragile heart so early in the morning. 
"Sorry to leave you with this mess. I owe you Nins. Thanks for the good night." EJ lets out as he hugs me and heads upstairs.
"Have a good day with your hangover!" I call out as I laugh, and hear him curse in response.
With him gone, that leaves Red, Ash and Ricky. Ash and Red are cuddled up together on his bed, and Ricky is on a mattress on the floor. I've sat down on the couch nearest him to take a break after cleaning almost the whole room, stretching my legs out onto the soft cushions. 
I wonder what Ricky and I are going to do today. Last night with him was sort of incredible, in a funny weird kind of way. It's also scary how, like, easy it was to just fit together again. It almost makes the whole year of torturing each other not worth it, which fucking sucks. I don't want to dismiss my feelings, or how I felt you know? But, yeah. It's a weird situation.
Speaking of, I hear Ricky stirring, probably because of me yelling out to EJ, and watch as he slowly wakes up. It stirs up a few memories from when we were together, remembering all the sleepovers, and nights shared and what not, and it honestly makes me a little sad.. Yeah. Like I said, weird situation.
He stifles a yawn, eyes still closed, and sighs out. Spreading his neck back, he peeks one eye open and smiles as he sees me. 
"Good morning baby." He says with his sleepy voice, and it makes my heart stop. Did he just call me baby? And why the fuck is his morning voice so damn sexy?? AND WHY DO I EVEN CARE.
He rolls over, an audible yawn coming from his direction before quickly sitting up and looking at me with wide eyes. We probably match expressions. 
"Uh, did, uh, um, shit, uh?" He rambles on, and I know I need to shake the initial shock off before he spirals. 
"No, hey, it's cool. Don't worry about it." I tell him softly, offering up a smile, and I watch as he groans into his hands. 
"Uh, yeah. Sorry. Uh yeah. That was embarrassing." He says as he looks up at me from between his legs and throws me a weak smile. 
"Don't worry about. It's not like I haven't heard it before?" I say, trying to make it a bit better and let an uncomfortable laugh out. He nods his head, not confidently though, before saying,
"Yeah, I guess it was just like muscle memory. Weird. Sorry." He says, scratching the nape of his neck, as he mumbles under his breath.
"It's fine, seriously." I tell him, trying my hardest to sound reassuring, because the beating in my heart would definitely argue with my words. Feeling things. He smiles at me, appreciating that I didn't make a huge deal out of it.. Despite the fact that it gave me butterflies. Fuck. I shake away the thought, deciding to instead distract myself from whatever it is I feel right now. "Anyway, I know you just woke up and all, so I'm gonna finish clearing up in here, and head home."
"No, no, I'll help! Then we can hang out like we planned last night?" He asks and scurries to get up, bones cracking and all.
"Sounds like a plan, you old man." I say laughing, as he winces.
"Fucking mattress was as thin as a sheet." He complains, stretching out, and we both laugh quietly at the cracks and pops. "I feel great. Come on then." He says sarcastically, and holds out a hand to help me get up. 
"Such a gentlemen, Richard." I say, grabbing his hand. But, I'm not. In a swift movement, I pull him down with me with a laugh. He lands directly on top of me, which I hadn't anticipated, but the look on his face made is absolutely worth it. He looks betrayed, amused, and impressed and it's doing something to me, I burst out laughing.
"That wasn't very nice, Nina." He says with a deliberate pout, causing me to laugh even more. He's so fucking hot. 
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself." I say smiling up at him, and he looks down at me shaking his head, scanning my face, almost lustfully? Eep. I now actually realise that he is on top of me, so close to my face, and is staring at my lips. I feel a little.. No, no. Get it out of your head. I look up at him, biting my lips.
"Careful Nins, I bite back." He tells me, his voice hoarse. I try saying something clever and witty, break this thick sexual tension, but nothing comes out.
Holy shit. How did we get here so fast?
I can't help but look at his lips and can feel myself lean slightly closer as he does the same.. Until..
*BRRRRRRRRR*

RICKY
RED JUST FUCKING FARTED AS I WAS ABOUT TO KISS NINI. RED JUST FUCKING FARTED AS NINI WAS ABOUT TO KISS ME. I'M GONNA KILL HIM. FUCK. 

NINI
"Oh wow, that's strong." I say, twisting my face, trying to breathe through my mouth.
That had to be Red. Alcohol + Red = Nasty bowel movements.
"Do you want to go?" Ricky asks, plugging his nose, and I nod in response stifling a laugh.
"Let's get out of here. Fuck the mess." I say forcibly laughing as I try shake the last couple minutes out of my head. He jumps off me, quickly turning around and grabbing his stuff. I stand, my legs weak, and do the same. Geez, this is awkward now. And as if on cue, Red farts again, breaking the tension, causing Ricky and I to look at each other and burst out laughing. I grab his hand, pulling him along with me, and we make our way upstairs laughing like idiots. Heading out the door, I quietly offer him a ride home to which he nods in reply. Thanks Red. That was a quick way to, uh, dampen those feelings. Heat of the moment kind of thing, definitely. Yeah, that's all it is. Heat of the moment, yup yup yup yup.
We walk quietly to my car, still hand in hand for whatever reason, and only let go when he jumps in the passenger and I head to the drivers side.
"Sorry about the mess." I mumble as we pull out. 
"I think your whole wardrobe is in the back." He teases, referring to the few clothes I have strewn through my car. I get dressed at work sometimes, so my car is full of clothes. It's kinda gross.
"I know, it's an issue, shut up." I tell him, and he brings his hand to his mouth motioning that he's zipping his lips and throws me a wink. 
I turn the radio on quietly, an old One Direction song plays, and a smile appears on my face. I fucking love One Direction, come at me.
"Really? It's been years Nini, you still love them?" He asks with a grin. Oh the irony of his statement. HA. Ha. ha.
"Don't act like we didn't used to absolutely jam out in your car to all their albums, Bowen." I reply back with a triumphant smile. He stills, then shrugs his shoulders, turns the music up, holding his phone as if it's a microphone and belts out,
"All I know at the end of the day is love who you love,
There ain't no other way.
If there's something I've learnt, from a million mistakes,
You're the one that I want at the end of the day!"
He quickly turns the music back down, puts his phone in his pocket, and simply states,
"Me? Never."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We get to his house not long after, having made casual conversation on the ride there. It was easy and fun, but nothing super important.
"Thanks for the ride." He says, stepping out the passenger door.
"Yeah, of course." I say back, and watch as he crosses the front of the car.
"So I'll text you later to hang?" I ask as he stands by my door. Leaning against it he bites his lips, and furrows his brows as if in deep thought.
"Do you just want to come in? You can shower here, I'm sure there's something in the back you could wear? Then we could hang for the rest of the day?" He asks me quickly, slightly swaying on his feet as he await my answer. Oh. Right. That could work. Sure.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure." I say, and grab my stuff along with a change of clothes. Locking my car, we walk up to his house.
 I'm hit with a sudden case of nostalgia.
I have not stepped a foot in this house since like the week or so before our break up, and if I can remember correctly, which I can, it was a really fucking happy time.. I audibly sigh, Ricky looking at me confused, and I just smile in response. My heart aches a little at the memory, but I try my hardest to ignore it. What's done is done.
"So, welcome back, I guess?" He says awkwardly as he opens the door, letting us both in.
"So, yeah. Nothings really changed. Uh, you know where the bathroom is, and you can get changed in my room. I'll use my Dads. Speaking of, he isn't home. He's gone on a weekend trip with the guys to somewhere by a lake, I don't know. And then-"
"Ricky, it's okay. I'm good." I reassure him as he rambles on. I know he's just nervous, probably remembering as well that I haven't been back since we were together. 
"Yeah, sorry. My bad. Nervous." He admits with a small laugh.
"Me too. Let's just ignore the elephant in the room and have a good day, yeah?" I suggest, trying to convince myself that it's all good.
He nods in response, and we both head upstairs, going in different ways to shower.
Once I'm alone, I grab my phone, shooting my Moms a text that I'm okay and I'm hanging with friends today. I don't tell them who, too many questions. I can't help but look around the bathroom that I am all too familiar with. Of course my sex deprived mind remembers the countless amounts of time Ricky and I had sex in here. Ugh.
I think I need to text Tyler. He lives an hour away, he could be here tonight.. NO. Stop. Alright, stop. Focus. Get your head out of the gutter.
I take a quick shower in his bathroom, lathering in the vanilla body wash and cleansing myself of the night before. Feeling clean and refreshed, I jump out, wrapping the towel around me and hurriedly head out of the door, down to Ricky's room to get changed. I can hear Ricky still in his Dads bathroom, so I walk in and once again am hit with a sudden wave of emotions. Taking in the surroundings, it almost looks the same. He has a new duvet, and a bigger TV. But his bedside tables are the same, and the lamps, and his drawers. He still has shelf of books and photos, a couple old and a couple new. A framed picture of all us friends from the opening night of HSM stands next to another framed photo of Ricky and his parents. There used to be photos of he and I shown throughout his room, but they're probably long gone by now. I couldn't throw mine out, but I do keep them hidden under all my old clothes in a box in my wardrobe at home. I wonder what he has done with his. I turn my attention to his walls, which are basically bare minus a new hanging shelf with a box on it. I really want to look in the box. No, self restraint. That would be rude and disrespectful. I do however notice a chain in front of the box, and instinctively grab it. Aw. It's the dog tag I got him. Ha. I put it gently down, deciding that was enough snooping, and get changed. I can't help but think of the dog tag, and wonder why he still keeps it out.. Granted, I wear a ring he got me, but, I don't know. It was the only thing I couldn't help, but keep. Everything else was packed away, but this ring was pretty special. I mean, I have it on right now. Ha. I'm getting in my feels lol. I notice a photo hidden behind the one of he and his parents that I missed before, and go and investigate it. Grabbing it, I sink onto his bed. It's one of us. I've actually never seen this photo before. I have a little blonde in my hair, which I hadn't done until like a couple months before we broke up. I'm staring away, smiling at something, and he's looking at me, so full of love. Where the fuck was this photo taken? Why haven't I seen it? It hurts my heart though, that's for damn sure. And yet, I can't look away.
"You had come back for the weekend, and I stole you away from everyone, but we had dinner with our friends that night. Seb and Carlos had just told us a story about  how they caught Mr. Mazzarra and Miss Jenn on a date at some movie theatre across town, and you thought it was the sweetest thing ever. 'They deserve to be happy.' you said, and I looked at you, really looked at you, in such awe and indubitably agreed. You always saw the best out of things, and I admired that about you. I just couldn't help but just look at you, you know? You were mine, and I was the luckiest person in the world.. I just. I didn't want myself to forget what I did, what I lost, what I had, I don't know. I just saw that photo and I needed to have it. I think-"
"-Ricky?"
"I know, I'm rambling. This is embarrassing, I don't-"
I grab his face gently, cupping his cheek and searching his eyes for permission. My feelings have just completely taken over my head. He leans in towards me slowly, out foreheads touching. Our breaths in sync. Our heartbeats the only sound in the room.
And then we kiss.