Worth Everything.

Roadtrip.

NINI
"Okay, okay. I know, yeah. We will. Love you guys too, see you in a couple days." Hanging up the phone from my parents, I walk into Ash's packed car and we start making our way to the lodge where she booked a room for us girls. It's been just over a week since my welcome home party, and I've honestly been in a bit of a funk since that night. Seeing Ricky after all that time reopened so many old wounds I thought I was done with so when Ash suggested a girls trip, we all jumped the chance to get away from my mess at home.
"You okay Nins?" I hear Gina ask me, pulling me out of my thoughts and I give her a reassuring smile.
"I'm good. Sorry for zoning out!" I reply back with a smile.
"I'm so excited to spend the weekend with just us! It's been too long since we've done something like this!" Kourt says from the front seat, and we all agree. Obviously with me being in a complete different state, there's also boyfriends, school, jobs, families and just life in general, it really has been a while since just us girls were together.
"I think the last time was in Denver for your opening night of Dear Evan Hansen, right Nins?" Ash asks and I can hear the smirk in her voice, and I feel my cheeks burn up. Kourtney suppresses a giggle, and Gina nudges me as she laughs, saying
"Oh my gosh, that's right! We got to meet Tyler that night," as well as raising her eyebrows at me.
"Guys, we aren't talking about that please" I groan awkwardly as my friends laugh at my embarrassment,
"Come on Neener, it's not a big deal," Kourtney reassures me for the 1000th time, and I snort back,
"Yeah, that's because it wasn't you being walked in on" I mumble back, hiding my head in my hands, adding on "and you guys just stood there, as we were adjusting ourselves,"
"Well it's not everyday you walk in on your best friend almost doing it in the changing room with her leading man," Ash yells out, and they all burst out laughing, and I groan into Ginas shoulder next to me hiding my laughter as well. As embarrassing as it was at the time, I can't help but find the humour in it now. It wasn't the most clever thing, but we had such a good opening and Tyler and I were both riding the high of the night, one thing lead to another and then my friends come bursting into my changing room. Thank goodness we weren't naked. Yet.
"Shut up, all of you." I say laughing with them, before rushing in "besides, let's not forget that I'm not the first of us to have been walked in on," I giggle out and watch as Ash goes red.

After 2 hours of laughing and singing and catching up, we eventually pull into the lodge. I can honestly say that I'm already having the best time with my some of my most favourite people, and I'm so thankful to have such angels in my life. Getting out of the car, I send a quick text to my parents letting them know we made it safely, grab my bags and rush inside after my friends. Ash has already grabbed the room key, so Kourt, Gina and I follow her until we reach our room. It's nothing flashy, since Ash refused to let any of us pay for the place, we persuaded her into booking a room that wasn't going to cost a freshly high school graduate their first semesters tuition, and instead opted for a cosy space with two double beds, a private spa and bathroom, wifi as well as the standard utilities they had to offer. I chuck my bag onto the floor and flop onto the nearest bed, and the other girls follow suit. We pre-booked a facial and spa treatment which isn't scheduled for a couple of hours, so after setting our alarms, we all collectively decide to take a nap until then. As everyone falls asleep around me, my mind can't help but linger on the boy who I'm trying my hardest to forget about. Is it it bad that while I hate him so much, all I can think about is how his lips still moulded into mine so perfectly?

RICKY
"9 days, Red. It's been 9 days, and I haven't stopped thinking about her." I tell my best friend, as I walk around his room.
"Yeah, you told me the same thing yesterday dude except it was eight," he replies back, "also, can you stop pacing, you're making me dizzy."
"Uh, sorry, my bad. I don't know, I'm just confused. She hates me, and I deserve it, I know I do, but then she kisses me? What is that about?" I ramble on questionably looking at Red, like he has all the answers in the world.
"I don't know what to say dude, this isn't familiar territory for me at all. I've only had one serious girlfriend, and we're still together," he looks up apologetically at me,
"Uh, has she messaged you back yet?" Red asks, even though he knows the answer,
"No. She's probably blocked my number, like she has with all my other socials," I say back, and start pacing again mumbling about my confusion and frustration about the whole situations
"Maybe it's time to tell her the truth about that night man," Red says quietly and it makes me come to a complete stop. The truth? It's too late for that. The kiss doesn't change the fact that I fucked up, and she shouldn't forgive me for it. I can't tell her, fuck do I want to tell her though.
"I can't man, it's been too long. It's too late. You didn't see the absolute hatred she had in her eyes when she saw me again."
"Maybe that's true, but don't you think having the truth out in the open is better than lying? You're gaining nothing from being dishonest dude," he retorts, as I stare at the ground taking in his words.
"I know you're right Red, but I've fucked her life up more than once already. I don't want to do it again." I say back to him in a quiet voice. I can feel myself getting worked up and agitated, and needs to get out of here before a  panic attack ensures. Not giving him the chance to reply, I quickly add on,
"I'm gonna head off now, see you later Red." as I briskly leave his bedroom. I walk through his house and thank his parents for having me, before grabbing my board and heading out the front door. I make it a few metres down the path before I feel my phone vibrate and grab it from my pocket.
'come over, it's just me.' Maggie texted me. I think it over for a second, and then reply that I'll be there soon and mentally prepare myself on the way over. Because she lives pretty close to Reds, I arrive at hers quickly and text her that I'm here. I don't know why, but I never knock, just always text. I hear her footsteps from inside, and then she's at the door pulling me inside with a smirk, closing the door behind us.
"Hi," she whispers coyly into my ear and I can feel her rub her nails up and down my arm,
"Hey," I say back quietly, my body already responding to the touch.
"It's been too long, let's go upstairs" she says, leading the way to her bedroom that I'm all too familiar with. We reach her bedroom, and she goes and sits at the edge of her bed, a smirk plastered on her face when she sees that I'm hard. As she begins to lean forward, my dick twitches in anticipation, but my head is telling me to stop before things progress any more.
"Mags, no." She looks up at me, and again my dick twitches, but I shake my head and take a seat at her desk. I didn't come here to get fucked, I came here to end this thing. Before I even know what I'm saying,
"This needs to stop." comes gushing out of my mouth,
"What? But, you're hard as fuck." Maggie purrs into my ear and my body responds automatically but my head knows better than to act on it.
"No, I mean us. You and I, whatever this is, it's over." I tell her,
"Wait, what? Are you serious?" She's asks incredulously, and I nod my head in response.
"What the fuck, why?" She asks as she stands up throwing her hands in the air,
"We both agreed this was just sex Maggie, and I can't do it anymore" I tell her noticing that she is getting frustrated,
"I'm sorry Mags if you're hurt," I tell her, placing my hand in her shoulder. She pulls away from me, and looks me dead in the eye,
"Well, it wasn't just sex for me!" She bursts out, and I look at her with wide eyes before asking,
"What?"
"You're so vapid Ricky, I've liked you for years!" She exclaims shaking her head,
"And I could never have you, because you were always with that stupid fucking theatre bitch,"
"Don't call her that." I bark back.
"Oh shut up! You know I'm right. You were so caught up with her, you never noticed me. She took up all your time and effort, you barely even knew I existed. I was in so many of your classes, I commented and like all your posts, except if Nini was in them, and you never took notice of me at all! It wasn't fair!"
"It's called love Maggie, give me a break! My whole world was about the her! What the hell
did you expect? That I was going to leave Nini for you? No." I say back and watch her slightly recoil at my words.
"Well why not? You went and fucked someone else anyway!" She spits back at me, and the wind is knocked out of me.
"Don't bring that up. Never talk about that to me again Maggie." I tell her,
"Oh poor you, you go and fuck some other girl while you're 'in love' with that dumb bitch and you don't want to talk about it? Whatever."
I can't stand to hear this shit anymore, I have to go before I really blow up. Getting up hastily, I look at Maggie who has a small smirk on her face, probably feeling accomplished that she got to me.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you Maggie, but this is over." I tell her, feeling mad and defeated. I turn away, ignoring her and walk down the stairs, out the front door and hopefully, out of her life.

All I have going through my mind on the way back home is Ninis face after she saw me walk out of that room with that girl last year. I watched as her heart broke, and the only person I had to blame was myself. Fuck. And she hates me, the same girl who has been my best friend since kindergarten absolutely hates me, and it's all my fault. Fucking shit. But then there's also part of me that recognises the fact that she invited me to her graduation, so maybe there's a little sliver of hope that I can fix what I fucked up so badly.
I can't think straight right now, and my skin is starting to feel hot, FUCK.
I get to my house, and up to my room before the panic attack starts.
————————

Later on that night after taking my meds and calming down, I text to Red to come over. I've had time to think about what he said earlier about telling Nini the truth, and while I'm not ready for that, I do want to tell the guys. It's not even about getting them to be on my side, or even about forgiveness, I just want them to know everything because I'm sick of hiding more shit. Red is soon walking into my bedroom, and has a bag slung onto his shoulder.
"Well dude, I already know this is ending with us trying to the girls, so let's just wait and see which guys will be joining." Red, the ever positive guy, says to me.
He's right though. Regardless of what happens tonight with my old friends, I need to see Nini. I need to make things right, somehow.