Worth Everything.

People Friends.

NINI

This weekend was like a fucking fever dream. I kissed Ricky fucking Bowen. Richard. Fucking. Bowen. Not just once, nor twice, couldn't even stop the third time! Nah, we spent the whole day going back and forth between making out, playing carnival games, and eating shitty food. And of course, the end of the night, where I could have, honestly, I would have fucked him then and there if he didn't put a stop to it. Like, that's my fucking ex, who yes, broke my heart and while I am moving past what happened back then, there is still a part of me that is hurt. I forgive him, and I want him back in my life, I really do, but not like that. It's all just confusing me. And I think the worst part of the day was that it was the happiest I have felt in so long. Don't get me wrong, I am fully capable of being happy on my own, but there is something about Ricky that just.. completely enamours me. It's pretty fucking annoying, to put it simply.
So with that mental spiral, I am being a total cowardly wimp and am basically ignoring his texts, and calls, and whatever else form of contact people use. We haven't hung out since that day, that incredibly spectacular day, and granted I am back working, I've been milking that excuse a little too much with him. Yeah, I'm being a child. Whatever. It's whatever.
"Earth to Nini!" I hear Kourt say, pulling me out of my head.
Oh, and did I mention that I'm currently at work, serving Kourt and Seb all while my brain torments itself?
"Where were you just then?" Seb asks as I hand his and Kourts drinks over.
"Huh? I'm right in front of you, goof." I say playfully, not wanting to talk about my thoughts, yet.
"You just blanked out for a few seconds before. You okay?" He explains with a warm smile, before taking a sip of his coffee.
"Yeah, no, sorry. I guess I didn't sleep too well last night." I shrug off convincingly enough as he nods in understanding. "Sorry, what were you saying before I zoned out, Kourt?" I say turning my attention to one of my favourite people, and immediately tense up at her raised eyebrow, and narrowed eyes. Best friend intuition is real, people.
"How was your day hanging out with Richard after the party?" She asks half accusingly, half curiously, and Seb looks at me surprised. Ugh.
"Really Kourtney? Don't start, Seb. We've decided to try out a friendship again. Oh, don't give me that look." I say preemptively, and shoot Kourtney a glare.
"I'm not giving you a look, Nina." Seb says, using my actual name like he's scolding me, and shares a knowing look with Kourt. I hate when they do that. I hate when I know it's justified.
"Thanks for throwing me under the bus, Kourt." I say sarcastically, to which she gives me a pointed look.
"I had to say something. You would have just tip toed around the subject hoping nobody would bring it up." She says, and while I know what she's saying is true, that doesn't mean she got to make the choice for me. What is with people making choices for me? Am I really that much of a fucking pushover? Fucking hell. I shake my head, throwing my hands up into the air out of frustration, and look at the both of them.
"We're just friends, trial friends. Look, we talked, and shouted, and cried, and I decided to give him a chance to rectify his mistake, and I would really appreciate if my best friends supported me." I whisper shout to them, and take the chance to look around the cafe to see if anybody needs my assistance. It's dead in here, so no safety net for me right now.
I turn my attention back to the two in front of me who are staring at me with sadness and compassion in their eyes. That took a turn, didn't it?
"I don't need your guys pity," I mutter out with a sigh, feeling a little defeated. Nothing like knowing your best friends don't agree with your choices. If only they knew the whole truth.
"It's not pity, Nins." Seb says taking my hands in his to get my attention. "I don't pity you. Your life, your decision, and I support you always. I just don't want to see you get hurt again." He says quietly and gives me small sad smile.. Fuck, I hate what I put my friends and family through, but selfishly, I think I hate being reminded of it more. I take another exasperated sigh, and run my freehand through my hair.
"You're just going to have to trust my choice." I tell them both, as I look between them.
"I support you, always, Neeners." Kourtney says as she gives me a brief look, her expression telling me that we'll talk more later - a best friend heart to heart. I nod quickly at her, turning my body to Seb who takes a breath, giving me a smile as he nods.
"I have a confession. Admittedly Nins, I love you, and I am on your side, but it was getting hard ignoring him. Ricky is just like this magnet, and our group kinda fell apart after everything. Can't help that he weaselled his way into my heart, that fucker." He says with a timid laugh, and I just smile at him in response.
But like.
Same, Seb, same.
Eventually customers did start coming in so with a goodbye wave, I go and serve the people who just arrived. It was a needed break away from those two, the conversation getting too deep and real for work. Shout out to Haz and Lou for being the best bosses though. (I'd also like to say, I never take them for granted, and I really had nothing to do.). I go through the mundane routine of serving people, making coffee, chit chatting and all those fun, and stimulating things a cafe worker does. Just a fun fact, all the fake smiling, and fake laughing at peoples jokes really gives me a headache, especially when the jokes are neither funny, nor appropriate. The things a young person will do for a tip. America.
All in all, it's been a fairly chill day, and once I take my apron off to chuck into the washing machine at the back, my shift is officially done with. I catch the next shift worker up on the housekeeping, collect my things, and walk out the door with a wave and a smile. Making my way back home, walking because it's a nice day, I pull my phone out of my bag for the first time in my six hour shift. Haz and Lou are chill, but as I said, I don't like taking them for granted, and being on my phone as well as talking to my friends would be taking them for granted.
I have a few messages unread. Lets see who.
'dude i miss u, but new zealand is fucking beautiful!!' - Kaia sends with a photo of her in front of stunning greenery. She's making her way across the world before settling in England.
'hate u! send more pics x' I reply back to her. So jealous ugh.
'Do you have work today? I'm bored.' - EJ.
'You must do, otherwise ignoring me is very rude Nina.' - EJ.
Annoying shit head.
'go cry ab it xx' I respond sarcastically.
'Hey, come over to Big Reds tonight? Like 6iiiiissshhh? We have something to tell everyone!' - Ash sent to our group chat, and oh my gosh, is she pregnant?
'see u guys in a few x' I type back to the chat
'hey! hi! helloooo stranger!' - Ricky. Yeah fair point, I have been avoiding him.
'hello richard.' - I text him back, and am met with a speedy response.
'oh, ouch. hey, so u going to reds tonight? wanna carpool?' - Ricky
'carpool? am i 50?' - Ricky
'but do u?' - Ricky
'yes, ur 50. pick me up at 5? down for some icecream from the place by the skatepark?'
'ur paying for being rude.'
'see you in a couple hours.'
Nice, friendly, cordial texts between nice, friendly, cordial people friends. People friends. People fucking friends.
A couple more random messages from friends and my Moms, and now I am getting a phone call from Tyler? Of all people. I turn the corner halfway between my place and work as I answer his call.
"What's going on? Why are you calling me?" I answer sceptically. He never calls, only texts or snaps.
"Hello to you too, Miss Salazar-Roberts." He says cheekily.
"Hello Tyler. What do you want?"
"To say you look pretty." Always such the charmer.
"Oh as if, what's up?" I scoff at him through the phone.
"Na, seriously. I'm across the street." I look over, and sure enough, there Tyler is waving at me. He's so effortlessly hot. The epitome of tall, dark and handsome, and I used to fuck him.
Dude, I'm so horny lately, I must be getting my period soon. And it's been a while since I've last had sex. I need to stop thinking about that before I make a decision I'll regret in the morning. I hang up the phone and cross over to him, shaking my head at him.
"What are you doing here?" I ask as we give each other a quick hug.
"Stalking you, clearly." He says with a smirk.
"Not surprised, creeper." I tease back.
"You wound me gorgeous. You know I also live in Salt Lake, right? We have had this conversation before." He says, putting his hand over his heart dramatically.
"No, I know that, dick. I meant this part of town. You live two hours away." I say with an eyebrow raised. He looks me up and down lustfully and slyly clamp my thighs together.
"My sister is pregnant and is craving donuts from this specific store, Go-Go-GoNuts? Weird ass name." Tyler laughs.
"Very weird name, but she has great taste. The custard ones are heavenly. Aren't you a lovely brother." I chuckle back.
"Yes, well I have to pick up 12 of those, so you must be right." He says, trailing off a little.
"So it was good seeing you the other day." He adds on.
"Yeah, fun day." I say fast, because to be honest, it was a little awkward running into him and his friend while I was with Ricky.
"I'm sorry, I just need to ask. That guy, that was your ex, right? The ex." Tyler asks curiously, emphasising on 'the' for dramatic flare.
"Yeah, that was the ex." I answer.
"You guys are together again?" he asks with no judgement. Because it's always been just physical with he and I. Truly. It's weird for high school students, I know, but heart break weird shit to people.
"No. We're just friends, Ty." I tell him with a small smile.
"Friends like you and I?" He says with a smirk
"No, not like you and I." I answer back with a laugh. He moves closer to me, bending down, bringing his lips to my ear.
"So does that mean," he nips at my ear and my breath stops, "I can still bend you over and fuck you from behind?" He whispers and my cheeks flush as I feel myself getting turned on.
"You're a dick." I groan, looking at him as he bursts out laughing.
"I'm just fucking with you, Nins." He tells me, but it doesn't help the fact that I'm so horny.
His phone beeps, and he looks at it briefly before looking back at me.
"Now Zara, my sister, wants some mango from a store across town. I swear if I'm not this kids favourite Uncle, we are returning it." He says, shoving his phone into his pocket. "I better get going."
Letting my hair fall messily across my face, as I let out a dramatic sigh.
"What a pity. I was going to invite you back to mine so I could take you up on that offer about bending me over. I guess I'll just have to handle it myself." I tell him as I look up at him through my lashes, biting my lip. He gulps and shakes his head at me with an amused, and flustered smirk.
"You're evil, Nini." Tyler groans as he places the box in the front of his pants. Victory.
"You started it, Uncle T!" I say back at him laughing. "As usual, it was a pleasure. Enjoy the rest of your day, kind sir." I tell him, and make the note to look him up and down with a wink. I turn away from him, feeling really good.
"Pleasure was mine." Tyler says with a wink back, and I roll my eyes at him and laugh as I walk away. "Oh! And tell Rocky I say hey!" He calls out to me with a deep laugh, and I throw him my middle finger. Cheeky fucker. Aren't I so nice?
I walk away smiling, and chuck on my sunglasses as I walk home basking in the warmth. I walk home in a great mood. Tyler is always fun. Well, when it's just he and I. Around other people, he turns into a bit of a dick, but honestly, the banter, the flirting, the sex, all pretty good. Just no romantic feelings at all. Maybe in a different life there could have been something more serious, but that lifetime would have to not include Richard Bowen and that just does not seem like something I would enjoy.
I manage to get home at about 2pm, so I have three hours to kill as I wait for Ricky. My Moms are at work, I'll be seeing my friends tonight so I don't bother asking them to hang, and the house is clean. After a quick shower, I think I know a way to kill a bit of time. Locking all the doors, and heading into my bedroom, I let the towel fall and jump under my covers..
If nobody else is here to help me with my sexual frustration, I'm sure my trusty vibrator will help out.

Great. Fucking. Day.