Poisonous Love

Aria Alvarez

"Aria, we're not mad, we're disappointed." Classic father move. "Even who the hell goes into another relationship the minute they're leaving their current? People might think you're a whore and I mean they got all they need to think that!" My mum yelled. And that was not all she followed that sentence with another hurtful one. The news just reached their ears and they haven't even given me a chance to explain yet and suddenly I'm a whore, hoe, disappointment, and failure. Despite me giving up everything for them. I dropped volleyball to focus on my studies. I always had to get out of hangouts. And each time I would tell them the truth, that I had to study, the more it happened they'd scoff and laugh at me calling me a liar. Yet I didn't break the least bit I studied even harder so I had something to throw in their face. It was just never enough. A 95% would get me a soft smile, anything less was a harder study next time.

I never got to sit down at a table and genuinely enjoy dinner with my parents. My mum would be on the phone with her client and dad...he wouldn't even be at the table. The only time they'd acknowledge me was when I was studying or when it was exam season. So that's what I did. That's the only thing I did so they could at least look over my shoulder.

I didn't wanna fit in. I didn't want to go to parties. I wanted to be a daughter to my parents. Not a soon-to-be lawyer, but when that wasn't open the only thing I could be was a lawyer.

I heard things falling around. Yelling through the walls, even cries. I sneaked out of my room and took silent steps toward the screams. When I reached the stairs I sat down at the top, where I could hear every scream that was coming from downstairs.

"Please, you already got her plate full after school, now you want to send her to a boarding school?!" My mum cried as she repeatedly hit my dad on his chest. "She's not making it to any department, Maria, you made her a failure!"

Shortly after my heart started to fasten, and my chest cracked open. I rushed over to the nearest bathroom opened the door and fell to my knees right in front of the toilet seat as that rush of vomit ran up my throat. It kept coming out, where at one point I had no control over my body. Until my body eventually ran tired and gave up. I gripped the sink as I pulled myself up. I switched the sink on and rinsed my mouth with it. Soon after my parents came behind.

"Aria what the hell was that?" I pressed the flush down as I pushed myself through the two standing at the door frame. I tried going up to my room as fast as I could but they kept following me. Once I reached my room I closed the door right behind me and reached for the lock and turned it down.

"Aria, I swear to God if you don't open the door right now!" My dad yelled as he banged on the door. "Hide in there as long as you want, but the second I get to you we're taking you to the doctor." He said as he one last time banged harshly on my door. On the other side, I slid down my door as tears kept falling from my face.

I had panic attacks before. First time I had those I was scared of myself. What was it that was happening to me? I went to see a doctor and begged her to not mention any of this to my parents, and in my favor, she agreed. She told me about panic attacks and also there was a cause for these. At that moment I directly assumed it was the stress my parents were putting on me. They repeatedly kept happening anytime I was again reminded of that moment when I was called a failure at the age where I thought that I didn't need to have anyone if only I had my loving parents. I have kept everything secure since then. My grades, reputation, my heart? Guess how that one turned out.