Demons

Chapter 20

Sandra swung the door open. I jolted awake, on the couch. I must have fallen asleep watching TV. In she barged, miraculously still walking from the amount of liquor she must have consumed. Surprisingly, I was expecting her to come back. Deep down, my only wish was that her maternal instinct finally came back after all these years. Wishes are for children. However, no matter how much I would try to suppress it, hope really is the strongest force. Even when the one you are waiting for is 100% hopeless. I could never lose it.

“What are you looking at?” Sandra spat in my direction. Great, she is so drunk that she doesn’t even recognize her only daughter.

“Mom? Are you okay?” I rubbed my eyes in disbelief and tiredness. She had been gone for so long, I didn’t think she would ever see me again. I tried to tell myself that it was good for me, but I am too young to lose a mom. She held a bottle of Heineken beer. It was so bad that I had gotten so good at identifying brands of liquor. Slumping onto the floor and leaning back on the side of the stairs, Sandra forcefully rubbed her temples. She was trying to make me disappear, as if I was a figment of her drunken imagination, a scary monster.

“Mom, you came back?” I built up my courage to actually ask her if she did love me, indirectly of ‘course.

“What the hell do you want from me? You are like my personal leech! You cost me everything, I lost the chance to be with my soul mate forever because of you! You cost me the love of my life! I lost him and am stuck with you!” She ranted, verbally abusing my young mind as I sat there, leaning over the couch to look at her with tears bombarding my eyes. Was I the cause of my father’s death? He died of drug overdose, I couldn’t possibly be. But Sandra was always so brutally honest with me when she was in a lazy drunk state. How did I cost her soul mate? Wasn’t her soul mate my dad? Sandra started to sob and as my sweet self was about to stand to comfort her, she hauled to half – empty beer bottle at my face.

I woke up crying. That wasn’t just a nightmare. That was a memory. Will I never be able to rid her from my life? I remember her so distinctly. I was ten when that night happened; Sandra had gone “on a business trip.” At least that’s what I told everyone. But I knew the truth. She had spent those nights missing at strip clubs. I still remember running upstairs when a strange man came to sleep with Sandra. The noises haunt me to this day. That’s probably because she slept with so many men so many different times. I couldn’t stop the tears as usual and my sleepy hand proceeded to pick up my iPhone. Not really paying attention to what my fingers were pressing and with my blurred vision, I somehow dialed Zayn’s number. I didn’t even know what time it was, but it must have been really late. I waited for four rings, choking on cries silently, and then I heard his voice.

“Lacey?” His husky, yet soothing voice answered.

“H-hi Zayn,” I breathed through the tears. I was shivering yet burning up. Tired yet wide awake. Frightened yet used to the feeling.

“Love, what’s wrong?” He coughed, trying to wake himself up.

“Nothing, I don’t know why I called you.” I realized how stupid and pathetic I was acting. Calling him at 3 am because of a nightmare. I am such a little bitch baby.

“Who hurt you? Talk to me.” Zayn’s voice sped up, as it does when he worries about me.

“No one, it was a stupid memory. I mean a nightmare. It was both, I guess. I’m so sorry because I shouldn’t have called you.” I tried to chuckle softly at my stupidity but choked on my dry mouth.

“I’m coming over,” was all he said.

“What? Why?” I asked, thoroughly confused.

“I can’t comfort you from all the way over here, see you soon.” He explained, before hanging up. There was nothing I could do about it, but I wasn’t regretting calling him anymore. He took me seriously; he didn’t get frustrated at my childishness. To be completely honest, there was nothing more I wanted right now than to be consoled in his arms. After ten minutes, I heard a knock on my window. I slowly stood up and found Zayn standing on my balcony facing me with scared yet bright eyes. He must have climbed the tree near my balcony, which impressed me. Even the most skilled house intruder wouldn’t be able to climb that. Forget that; now Zayn was the most skilled intruder. I opened the glass door and ran into his open arms. As I held onto his neck and nuzzled my nose into his collarbone, he rubbed the small of my back. The cold January night greeted the two of us with an unforgiving breeze. I pulled him inside my bedroom and shut the door softly, so as to not wake Lillian. If she heard us, I don’t want to know what would go through her mind.