Demons

Chapter 18

~~Recap~~

"It's always a one-sided conversation I have with myself when it comes to me and you. Please just, talk to me." I don't know how much more I can ask for him to do what he knows he has to. "What's the worst that can happen if you open yourself up to me?"

"I fall for you, Lacey!"

~~~~

"No, take that back." I don't know where that came from, but I don't want him to have hope in us.

"You want me to say something, right? You want me to tell you the deepest parts of me?" He raised his voice.

"Yes! Because I care about you - as a friend! I just wanted to be there for you from the beginning. And you wouldn't let me. It's too late for the two of us to have anything more than friendship. Please, don't ruin this." I begged. All this lying has got to stop, you know.

"You are asking me to! You think there isn't a reason that I can't talk to you. Lacey, I keep my distance for many excellent reasons. Never question me again, and there will never be anything in harm of ruining." Zayn responded, gruffly. Both of his big hands were resting on my shoulders, letting him keep his distance literally and figuratively.

As much as I regretted this whole conversation, Zayn was absolutely right. He could never become vulnerable for me, among the many causes that we could never be together.

"And you said you didn't want to leave us like this again." I finally said, on the verge of tears.

Without saying another word to him and avoiding his face, I picked up my bag and phone from the table. He refused to move to stop me and comfort me, like deep down I desperately wanted him to.

Is it possible to go back in time, from when we met, become close and see how our lives would be different? I knew they would. He would be open and we would probably fall in love. It's funny how the timing works, however.

Now I've got Harry and he's got no one, which is his fault. What hurt me the most was that he was right. I have to keep my distance and trust him.

Whatever he is dealing with is messed up enough. Hell, he has been in my life for three months and my life became three times more complicated.

Zayn was standing in the same position in deep thought when I walked out the hotel suite door. As I was making my way out into the lobby, I stupidly realized I had no ride home. Being dependent on other people drives me crazy *no pun intended.*

"Rough night?" A young, dapper suited man asked me from behind the lobby desk.

"No offense, but you sound like a bartender." I said, with my infamous fake smile.

"No offense, but you look a little too young to have heard what a bartender would sound like." He laughed, flashing an all-too-real smile in my direction.

"You have a name, don't you?" The lobby guy asked.

"And why should I tell you that?" I replied. Today has been one of many hard days and obviously I'm not in a happy mood.

"Well, I notice a pretty girl and from your entrance with your man, I can tell you will be spending a lot of time here." He winked. Wait, did he try flirting with me while mentioning my "boyfriend" in the same sentence? Classy.

"Well I have to be heading home now, so I will see you around - Jack." I leaned in to stare at his name. He looked so cheerful at me, but he didn't know that I wasn't interested. At all.

I had just enough money to get a ride home in a taxi and decided to wait outside in the freezing cold air of November.

The taxi pulled up to where I stood, and the driver rolled his window down, giving me a look as if he was asking if I called him. Nodding at the driver, I made my way towards the car.