What it takes

40

Deen

Running.Running so fast the world is like a blur.Running from everything.Running from anything that can hurt me more than I am now.

The sun is saying its goodbyes and its just me and Rose.Her photo brings another round of tears to my puffed out eyes.Its a reminder that shes not here where she should be.Shes too good for this harsh,cruel,meaningless world anyway.Atleast I know she wont be getting hurt by the ones she loves,over and over again.I know shes at peace and safe away from the danger of love and life.What I never realised was that Life will never be fair. The saying 'Lifes not fair' is all but true.life will never be fair to you.It tests you to your boundaries,limits until you explode and cant take it anymore.Thats how I feel.

I cant take it anymore.I'm feeling like a worn out rag,thats been used too much.Im so drained that all I feel like doing is staying here and never moving.This is the only place that I feel like I can never be hurt.It pains me to see this Headstone But at the same time it makes me feel happy because I'm close to Rose.The only one that hasnt caused me pain.If she was here I wouldnt let anyone hurt her.I wouldnt want her ending up like me.Weak,Vulnerable and broken.

I knew the next time I would get hurt I would be deeper in my dark place I've tried to escape from for years.Its been waiting for me,waiting for me to come back.I can feel my old self taking over.Where everything was dead,lifeless,and a mess.

"I need this to stop,Rose.I cant take it anymore.This pain will never go away.I'm scared.......of what might happen to me if I go back....Why cant anything work for me?? Is fate really trying to tell me something?? That anything good in my life will never last? Your gone.....Mum was gone along time before you were born.....And zayn is just....zayn.He hurt me and I know I shouldnt have taken it to heart but-I-We-It was hard...."I sound so pathetic.So lost and confused,Vulnerable and weak.I've never been a strong soul.In the end I'll always let everything get to me.One of the many things that I hate about myself.Might aswell hate everything since my life is all fucked up.Everything thats happened I wish I could forget.But this is it.Who cares if Zayn was sucking face with her.Who cares if my mum was a shitty mum.Who cares about me.Zayn can piss off and so can my mum.Oh how I've missed this side of me.Now all I see is darkness.My body and heart numb.Nothing.I feel nothing.

Zayn

I see her run towards her car and speed off.My mind is telling me to run after her but my lower area wont budge.Shit she has a hard knee.I have to find out what happened.Where would she go?

----------------------------

Damn......Zayn you weak guy lol JK:) Comment and vote:) xx