What it takes

8

Deen

"Louis and I met that time I went to England with my Family" I remember that time, two years ago. We were both 16 and already planning our grand escape from our lives to somewhere way better. We would fantasise about what house we'd buy and how many bathrooms it would have. Stuff that seems so childish now.

At the time he didn't want to leave and I didnt want him to either. But we called each other everyday and he sent me photos of buckingham palace.

"We met at this social party for Teenagers. My mum thought it would be good to socialise with people my own age instead of listening to music all day in my room. She never liked me being alone" I laugh at the thought of zayn trying to socialise.

"She literally dragged me to the car, dropped me off and said I'll pick you up at 12" Mrs Malik was an outgoing person and wanted the best for her kids. Something my mum failed at which wasn't a surprise at all.

"At the end of it we exchanged numbers-" I cant help but laugh at how wrong that sounded. He smiles.

"Yes that sounded wrong but it was only to hang out.." He trails off, like he was remembering the memory.

"We hung out a few times and in those few times he found out everything about me from what I was like to what I did" He clears his throat and pulls my hands into his so that they're on his lap.

"I was going to a party with a few of my cousins and so I invited Louis. He asked to bring his girlfriend and so I said yes, since we had never met" He closes his eyes and I squeeze his hands for him to carry on.

"Louis introduced us and the minute I saw her....I.....I wanted her"His grip tightens on my hands.

Please dont tell me he did what I think he did.

"When Louis went to get her-penelope a drink I couldnt help myself. Before I knew it I was taking her upstairs. The whole time we-um-I felt this feeling of guilt and regret in my head. But that didnt stop me. When it was over I knew how much of a mistake it was and there was no way I could take it back" Its dead silence.I knew it.

Here I was hopping he wasnt like that.I knew he was a one night stand person but this? This is just horrible and low even for zayn.

Am I supposed to be shocked? Or was this to be expected?

Maybe I was convincing myself that he was this quiet,sweet,sometimes cold boy all the time.But what I forgot was that everyone has a bad side.This was zayns bad side.I didnt like this side at all.

"Please say something"My eyes finally meet his.Shame,regret and guilt through them.

"What do you want me to say zayn?"My voice above a whisper.

"Something,anything"He pleads.

"Are you angry at me? I understand if you are beca-"I shake my head.

"Im not angry at you zayn.I'm dissapointed in you"I pull my hands back into my lap.

"I cant believe you would do that.I know its in the past and I can see you regret everything but right now I just need some time to myself.To think about some things.I'll call you"He slowly nods but I can tell by his clenched jaw he wants to say something,but he doesnt.He leans over and gently places a kiss to my forehead.

"I'll wait for you"He murmurs,leaning his head on mine for afew seconds.

He walks out with the door slamming behind him.

Zayn

She looked at me like I was disgusting.I thought that if she was angry at me we could figure this out.

But when she said she was dissapointed it hit me hard.Feelings that I havent felt in years is what I was feeling.

Why does her opinion matter to me? Why is it affecting me so hard that I feel like someones punched a hole in my heart?

Why should I care about what she thinks about me? I've never cared about anyones opinion,until her.Shes one girl.

Theres only one thing that can stop me from driving back to her house and begging her to change her opinion on me.

That one thing is cold liquid that burns your throat and I'll need alot of it to numb this pain.

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Well I hope you's liked zayn's P.O.V:) xx