What it takes

14

Deen

The hangover I had the next morning felt like someone was pounding my brain with a hammer.I felt like everything was so bright and any sound,sounded like a speaker booming in my ears.Never again am I accepting a drink from louis,actually that was against my own will.I am never going to drink,atleaset not anytime soon.Yes it was one shot glass but whatever it was,it was strong.This shows I'm what people call a 'lightweight'.I cant imagine the hangover I would have had if I had drank more.

Memories of me and zayn's fight flip through my head,not all in order but randomly.I run a hand through my tangled mess of hair.I thought I wouldnt have to see him until I had sorted myself out.We're turning into those best friends.Who constantly fight even over things that aren't close to important.

I was hopping we wouldnt be like that.But of course that wasnt going to happen.I thought that our differences wouldnt clash like it hasnt since we've been friends.That we could just make up and carry on being best friends but I knew we needed this break.If we didnt then it wouldve ended up with us saying things we didnt mean,and the worst.It would break both of us.

What I was confused about was why zayn cared about why I was with hayden.He was harmless,not a sign of rapist or pedo alarmed me.He was just a sweet and gentle guy.I enjoyed dancing with him alittle bit more than I should have but atleast I had abit of fun.Fun wasnt something I did after rose.Fun was sucked from my life and anything that made me happy was gone with it.

Could it be that zayn was....jealous? No.it cant be,we're best friends.He doesnt think of me like that.He mustve been like that because he was looking out for me as a friend.But the look on his face told me something else.....

I'm probably wrong.He could have any girl I mean look at him he's like a girls dream bad boy.His sexy toned,tanned body.....

What?

Did I just think that? I-that-was that.....I dont think that drink has wore off.Yeah.The drink....

* * *

The sun is shining and theres no cloud in site.It's the afternoon and I still feel like crape.I saw the mailman stop by with the mail.He always seems to be right on time everytime I receive mail which was usually on a saturday afternoon.There was only one letter today and it was addressed to me.The handwriting instantly catches my attention.

He sends them every so months,I usually chuck them or read the first line then just biff it.But today I felt like reading it.I've been doing alot of things that weren't normal for me.In a way its like I'm doing things that I want,not what I thought I shouldnt do.

I slowly rip the envelope open and pull out the first thing I feel.A folded piece of paper.

Deen,

I know you havent read any of my previous letters but I hope you read this one.

My sister,Tania is getting married,she was hopping she could meet her only niece.I was hopping to meet my only daughter.This is all up to you,I know you don't like me but atleast think about it,for your aunt atleast.

What happened between me and your mother was something I wish I could have fixed.But sometimes things aren't suppose to be fixed,sometimes they're meant to just stay broken.Even though I havent seen you since you were a baby and I haven't been there for you and your mum.That doesnt mean that I've stopped loving you.You and your mother were the lights of my world as cheesy as that sounds,its true.

I dont blame you if your angry at me,even hating me.I would too.

The invitation has all the details you need to know.I'm hopping to see you there and I will answer anything you want to know.I know you want answers.Dont we all? Atleast think about it.Please.

Until then,Dad.

I place the letter down and let out a shaky breath.The first letter I had ever read ever since he started to write to me.I'm feeling abit overwhelmed and I dont know what to feel.My dad has never been in my life.I have never seen a picture of him,mum made sure there was no trace of him when he left.I dont know what happened but I know enough to know it wasnt a pretty ending.

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