What it takes

37

Zayn

I couldnt get her out of my head.I tried to stop thinking about her but I cant.Her eyes,they looked so pure and innocent.We had never had a moment like that.I dont know what came over me......The way she looked under me just made me.....want her.

But Me,she could never see me more than just a friend.I just know it.I dont want to fuck things up again after we just sorted everything out.We're friends thats it.I know its wrong to try and kiss your best friend but why did it feel so right??

Does this mean something? Why cant I stop thinking about her? Why is she affecting me so much I cant even think straight.I need to get it through my head.We're Best friends.I'm not going to ruin our friendship because I couldnt keep my lips to myself.I'm not going to lose her,not like I nearly did before.

*  *  *

"Zayn mate? You ok?"Ben asks,slapping his hand on my shoulder.

"Fine"He rolls his eyes.

"You were in lala land today,whats up with you? Or are you high?"

"Nothing ok? Just drop it"I snap,storming off to my car.Some people cant mind there own damn buisness.

All day she was in my head.I saw her in the hallways but I didnt talk to her,Just smiled,scared I might say something stupid.I know pathetic.But I should have.I miss talking to her.She was the only one that never judged me,she knew the real me.The one behind the tattoos,black clothing and badboy act.I need to stop thinking about her before I go to her house and finish what I started.Theres only one place.

*  *  *

"Back again? Zayn this is your 5th time this week"Amera says,shaking her head dissapointedly.Shes known me ever since I was a kid,longer than deen.Amera's my younger cousin,more of a sister than cousin..You could say we're close.Her Mum and my mum are sisters.But she died when we were younger.Thats when things went all fucked up for her.

"Just poor me a damn drink"She sighs but obeys,pouring vodka into the shot glass.I take the shot and let the alcohol burn down my throat.

"Another"

"Zayn I don-"

"Another"I demand.This time she puts the vodka down and places her hand over mine.

"Dont do this to yourself,please"Her eyes pleading me to listen to her.

"Just give me a fucking drink or I'll go somewhere else"She shakes her head and pours me another shot.I always use that against her.She has this thing where she gives me free drinks only if I stay in her sight.I've tried to tell her no but she bribes with alcohol.Who would say no to free alcohol?

"Why are you in a pissy mood?"She asks with a slight grin.

"Nothing,why cant everyone just mind there own buisness?"I snap,harshly,downing another shot.The alcohol buzz is slowly coming.

"You need to talk sooner or later,so talk.Whats got you in such a sour mood?"Ameras always been good at getting things out of me and the alcohol doesnt help.

"Just stuff with a girl"I mutter.

"Is this girl deen?"I nod.

"So whats wrong? I thought you patched things up with her?"She says,frowning.I told her all the shit that went down between us.She helped sober me up abit and grow a pair so I could sort things out with her.

"I did.But I did something and now shes all I can think about"I came here to stop thinking about her and here I am talking about her.

"I dont want to know what you did but by the looks of it your worried about messing up your friendship? Am I correct?"She questions.

"Right on"I say downing another shot.

"And your beginning to have feelings for her?"The shot glass stops midway to my mouth.Feelings?

"Feelings? Me? No.We're best friends"I defend.What is she saying?

"Oh come on zayn! Its clear as day! Stop being so stubborn!You have feelings for her! And whatever you did it must have triggered your feelings"She gushes.

"No I-"

"This explains why you cant stop thinking about her! And why your here at 1:00 in the afternoon,drinking,so you can forget.Am I right? Because I'm pretty sure I am"She looks at me with a smug look.I roll my eyes.

"Look I dont do feelings ok?"She rolls her eyes.

"Whatever you feel just let it be.Dont ruin your chances with a great girl! Just for once in your life zayn just please do what your heart tells you not your dick"She says,rolling her eyes at the end but then she gives me a serious but encouraging look.

Maybe shes right or maybe she isnt.Fuck I dont know.I'm feeling tipsy and whatever amera said I know I'm going to ignore it.For now.

*  *  *

(The next day)

The sun rays spread along my bare back.Wait.The feeling of this bed feels wrong.These arent my sheets.They smell like......Strawberrys? Where the fuck am I? I quickly open my eyes but that was a bad idea.Shit.I feel like I've been blinded by the sun.

I slowly get up.This is the worst hangover I've ever had.I look around the room.The walls are a light purple.Girly shit everywhere.Oh shit who did I sleep with? Did I sleep with her? My questions answered when I lift the sheets.Fuck.

I find my phone on the nightstand,along with my keys and wallet.My jeans,boxers are on the floor and....wheres my shirt? I look around to see a sleeping figure on the bed.Shit I didnt realise she was there and fuck shes wearing my shirt.If I wake her than we'd have that weird tension and I dont want her to wake but if I leave now I wont have to meet her,she looks like a clingy one.I tip toe out of her room and find my shoes right outside her doors.As I walk to my car with no shirt on I try to remember what happened last night.The last thing I remember was talking to amera.

" Whatever you feel just let it be.Dont ruin your chances with a great girl! Just for once in your life zayn do what your heart tells you not your dick"Well I obviously didnt listen.Thats nothing new.If amera knew what I did she'd be scolding me,giving me more of a headache then I already have.But Me? Feelings? Its like she doesnt know me at all.

"-Stop being so stubborn! You have feelings for her! Whatever you did must have triggered those feelings"

Fuck.Maybe I am being stubborn....I would be lieing to myself if I said I didnt like the position me and deen were in....But that wasnt what I liked the most.I liked her as a person.I liked the way she smiled,she'd have this spark in her eyes.I liked how forgiving and caring she was.I liked how I'm the only guy she talks to(Well was) But that doesnt matter.I like the way her hair feels through my fingertips.I like how she hates talking about sexual things.She does the face that looks.....cute.

Holy shit.

I like....her.I like deen.I just poured my heart out like a fucking girl.

Maybe I will take Ameras advice.A new wave of determination fills me.I'm going to tell her.Fuck the whole best friends shit.I like her and I need her to know that.

I quickly open my text messages to her.But what comes up was something I definitly dont remember.

Shit.

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Uh oh.....Yass!! He finally admitted his feelings hahah Comment and vote:) xx