What it takes

36

Deen

After a long hot relieveing shower and a goodnight to richard,I'm finally snuggled down in my single bed.The thought of my dad staying under the same roof as me feels surreal.I had always dreamed(when I was younger)of my dad staying with me.Now thats happening its taking time to sink in,fully.But I'm glad hes here.It gets lonely when I'm alone.This house is tiny but yet it feels like I'm living in a mansion at night.I was shocked to see him on the frontsteps but then that shock turned into me feeling grateful.

I know hes angry with mum and I guess he has a right to be.If she ever finds out that I met my father and that I wanted to live with him,she wont take it well.I'll worry about that later.

Richard said he was looking for houses on the edges of hartlet,not so far away from school or work and hes also looked into some jobs around the city.I'm beginning to question whether we should stay here in hartlet.I mean the only thing thats keeping me here is zayn and maybe mum.But mostly zayn.I would miss him too much that I think it will physically hurt.Call me a drama queen,but I'm serious.We've been like two peas in a pod for like forever.I know hes just a guy and that theres so many guys out there.But no one can be my zayn.My drug.Hes the reason why I'm not so much in my dark place like before.He showed me the way towards the light,He showed me how to be myself again.He may not be the greatest guy to date or be in a relationship with but hes the best guy friend you could ever ask for.

Speaking of zayn hes ringing me.Ok Deen just act normal.Breathe.I feel tingles now that my feelings for zayn has changed and I dont know whether I like it or not.

"Hello?"I answer quietly.

"Deeennnnn"Is he...drunk? And is that music in the backround? I put the phone closer to my ear.

"Zayn? Are you drunk?"Theres alot of whistling and cheering then the line goes dead.Well that was weird.....Huh.

*Phone vibrates*

From zayn.Huh? Ok......

I open up his text to see a photo of a guy full on making out with a girl with practically no clothes on.Why would he send me a picture of a random.......My eyes scan the picture again.Thats no random guy.Its zayn.The photo also came with a caption.I force myself to read it,knowing I shouldnt.

Youuu coulldnt giive mee wahhtt i wnted bbutt shee coouuld

My body feels like a statue.Hard,cold and still.I stare at the picture,longer then I intended.I'm just torchuring myself now,so with the last of energy that I have,I drop my phone.

The pain.Its coming back.

I can feel it running through my veins.I can feel my heart starting to clench like someones squeezing the life out of it.All of this feels so familiar.I thougt I could go on with my life without anymore pain.Now I have no drug.My drug has done the opposite.

Hes hurt me.

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Zayn man.....

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