What it takes

19

Deen

I cant go.I'm not going.

I need the money so if I skip work to find something I wont have enough to pay the rent and I'm sure as hell not turning up to my aunty's wedding in jeans and a t-shirt.Today I've been in a bad mood.I was set on going,had all the questions I wanted to ask.Then something little like not having time to find something to wear stops me from going.I was going to skip school but I couldnt.I had a end of year exam,my last one for the year.How coincidental is that?

Its like somethings trying to stop me from going.

Maybe I'm not meant to meet my dad.Maybe this is a sign.I knew something like this would happen.Nothing in my life went right.I lead myself to think that maybe just once it could work out.Never again.

*  *  *

"Deen! Deen! Dee-"

"What."I snap,turning my head to louis.

"Well someones on their monthly"Louis teases.

"Louis not today,please leave me alone"I put my head back down to the money books.Right we had-

"Why are you being so bitchy today?"louis says stealing the book.What is with these boys and stealing things?

"I'm sorry if I am but please let me get back to work"I plead.He shakes his head.

"No.Somethings wrong,tell me or I'm going to make you tell me"He says folding his arms.

"Why do you have to be so nosey?"I continue on what I was writing.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?"My hand clenches around the pen.

"Louis,I'm serious.Just drop it"Silence.Finally hes given up.

"I told you I would make you tell me"I look up an see all 4 boys looking down at me.

"What are you going to do? Tie me up and torture me?"The boys all have michievous smiles.

"Guys......Your really creeping me out now"Louis nods in my direction and before I know it I'm being lifted off my chair and into two pairs of arms.

"PUT ME DOWN!!!!! NOW!!"My voice roars out.I'm not in the mood for them.I cant go to the wedding and see my dad,Me and zayn arent talking.All my anger is coming out and its not going to end pretty.

"Deen calm down"Harrys voice coos.

"Dont tell me what to do you-"

"Found the reason"I twist my head to see louis and niall reading over the invitation and the letter.They are reading the letter.

"You have no right!!"I elbow liam in the ribs and immmediately he lets me go.I rip the letter from louis and stuff it in my bag.

"You had no right going through my stuff"My voice sounding like I'm on the verge of tears.Which I am.

"You wouldn-"Louis begins but I cut him off.

"I didnt have to tell you anything,this was my personal stuff you went through and I cant believe you did that,all of you"This is just too much.I feel like this is exactly how me and zayn fought for the first time.I hate this feeling.They all look ashamed of what they had done,heads dropping to the floor.

"We're sorry,I mean I'm sorry.I was worried about you.Ever since you came into work you've been in an angry mood.Dont blame the guys it was all me.I just wanted to see what was going on with you"Louis speaks with concern and worried eyes.Dispite what they did well louis did.I cant help but let all the anger I had moments ago,vanish.These boys are the closest thing to family I have so being angry at them is just incredibly hard.No matter how hard I try not to forgive them.

"I've had alot going on lately.....Thats why I was acting all angry.All of you are like big brothers to me and I could never stay angry at you's,you may have crossed a line but I can forgive you all for it"I look each and every one of them in the eye,making sure they know I meant what I said.

"Why didnt you tell us about this wedding? And letter?"Louis asks.That brings me back to why I was being all bitchy and angry.They're my brothers and I could really do with letting off some steam.Whats the harm in telling them? I know I didnt want them to know but I need to start trusting again or I'll never trust anyone.

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Should deen tell them? Yes? No? Comment:) xx