Dream SMP and Other MCYT Oneshots

Glass- KarlNap

Description not found, too burnt out lmao
TW: anger management issues, anxiety disorder, anxiety attack, toxic relationship

Shattered glass.

Karl didn't ask questions. He just carefully cleaned up the remains of the bathroom mirror to refrain from anyone getting hurt. He noticed a shadow in the doorway and didn't bother turning his head.

"Sapnap."

"...I'm sorry, Karl."

"It's okay," Karl sighed. "I know you didn't mean to."

Silence. Karl met Sapnap's eyes.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Karl asked.

Sapnap leaned against the bathroom door, exasperated. "I-I don't even know. Work was stressful, and Dream called to cancel plans last-minute, and I tried to fix the wifi issue and I...couldn't figure it out and everything was so overwhelming and I was just looking in the mirror and...I broke it. I'm so sorry."

Karl reached up to wipe away some runaway tears on Sapnap's face. He knew Sapnap couldn't help it. He was easily overwhelmed, and when his anxiety kicked in he lost all sense of control. That was when disasters such as the broken mirror happened. Karl did a pretty decent job handling Sapnap's uncontrollable anger, but he had to admit that it was scary sometimes.

Sapnap reminded Karl of the very glass that littered the floor. He was beautiful, unbelievably so. But he broke easily, and the mess left behind was never pretty.

"I'm not upset. It's alright."

It wasn't alright. Karl had to buy a new mirror now, and he had no clue if Sapnap might have a bad day and destroy that one, too. Karl loved Sapnap more than life itself, but it was too much. The constant yelling, the sounds of things breaking, the uneasy environment the apartment had become. In all honesty, Karl wanted to tell Sapnap off for it. He wanted to tell him to get his act together and learn some decent ways to cope, maybe find some professional help as well. Instead, Karl kept his mouth shut, terrified that if he were to cross the line, Sapnap's anger may be redirected at him.

"One day, I want to marry you," Karl remembered Sapnap once saying. They were sitting on their balcony, stars glittering throughout the dark sky. That day, they'd just moved into their apartment.

"Y-you do?" Karl stuttered, a heavy blush resting on his face.

"Yeah! And we'll get a nice house and have a bunch of kids and be the perfect family. That's all I want. Do you want that?"

Karl nodded eagerly. "That's all I've ever wanted."

It was true. Karl wanted to get married. He wanted a family. But, staring at the wreck that the bathroom had become reminded Karl that he could never have that. Not with Sapnap. What if one of their kids were to step out of line, or refuse to eat dinner? The littlest things set Sapnap off, so who knows what he would do? Karl couldn't take that chance.

Karl blinked back to reality. Back to Sapnap, who had just left the room. Back to the glass shards in the corner of Karl's vision that he hadn't noticed before, another mess to clean up. Nothing was more of a mess than Karl's emotions, dancing around the idea that maybe he deserved better.

Still, he loved Sapnap. He loved him so much that it might break him.

***

Karl had walked right into a disaster. The incident with the bathroom mirror was days behind them, and Karl had returned home from work to see Sapnap with his head in his hands at the kitchen counter, the oven window kicked in.

"What the hell happened?" Karl panicked, staring dumbfounded at the situation. Sapnap jumped, and Karl stepped back. He had that look in his eyes that Karl hated. He was freaking out, and when he freaked out he lost a part of himself.

Shakily gathering himself, Karl approached his boyfriend like he was a caged animal. "Sapnap, breathe. Just- calm down."

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down!"

Sapnap rejected Karl's advances by grabbing his wrist tightly and shoving him backwards. Karl was unharmed, but the hostile act caused him to retreat and start sobbing.

"I-I don't even recognize you anymore," he choked. Before Sapnap had a chance to come to his senses and respond, Karl was running upstairs. Sapnap heard the bedroom door slam and he dropped to the floor in tears.

About half an hour later, Sapnap wearily knocked on the door. He heard a mumble from the inside.

"If you're about to deliver some half-assed apology, I don't want to hear it."

"Karl, please open up."

He was met with no response. Sapnap felt the familiar feeling of impending anger threatening to break through, but he repressed it as well as an unstable person could.

"I'm leaving," Sapnap said.

The door swung open.

"What?"

Sapnap fidgeted with the sleeve of his jacket to calm his racing mind. "I'm not good for you. None of this is good. This is- what- the third time this week? You can't keep living like this."

"You can't deal with this alone. I'm here to help you!" Karl protested, but Sapnap quieted him down with an interruption.

"I won't be alone. I've been looking into some programs that might be able to help me. But you don't need to be a part of it. My life is a mess, and if I don't fix it then I'll ruin everyone else's lives, too. I can't do that to you. I love you too much."

"You can't do this!" Karl cried. "If you really loved me you wouldn't do this!"

"Karl, please..."

"What about getting married? You said you wanted to marry me! And you wanted kids! What happened to that?"

Sapnap pressed a gentle kiss to Karl's lips, shutting him up for a split second, pulling apart to speak. "I know you understand. I know you've been thinking about this, too. I need to heal before I can have what I want. And if that's what you want; a wedding, a white-picket fence, a family? You can't have that with me. At least, not right now."

"I can wait for you," Karl insisted. "I'll wait forever."

"If you want to wait, I can't stop you. I'm just telling you that it's okay to move on. To find someone new."

Slender arms wrapped around Sapnap's torso as Karl held him like he'd never see him again. In his defense, he had no clue when- or if- he would.

"When are you leaving?" Karl asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I think I should go now."

"No!" Karl begged. "Please. Stay with me tonight. I-I'll miss you."

Sapnap glanced away and bit his lip. Maybe some time to say goodbye would be a good thing.

"One last night wouldn't hurt," Sapnap concluded, returning his attention to his boyfriend and reconnecting their lips.

He didn't know if Karl would wait for him. He didn't know if he wanted him to. All he really wanted was for Karl to have his fairytale life, for him to be happy. With or without him.