Dream SMP and Other MCYT Oneshots

He's Just A Boy Part 3- Tubbo

And thus, the series comes to an end...six months after I started it. Thanks everyone, it's been one hell of a ride.
TW: war, fighting, brief child abuse, hurt/comfort, mild swearing, death

"Tommy?"

10-year-old Tubbo stood at the doorway of the camarvan, capturing Tommy's attention from the map that lay out on the table.

"Are they here?" Tommy frantically asked, reaching for his bow on the adjacent table.

"No! No, not yet!" Tubbo reassured. "But I have a question."

"Shoot."

"What are we doing?"

"We're fighting a war," Tommy said. "We're not winning, but at least we're standing up for what we believe in, right?"

"Sure...but I don't know if I can do this, Tommy. I can't fight them. I can't," Tubbo let out a shaky breath. "I'm scared."

Tubbo had wanted to stand down for a while. He wasn't like Tommy, he wasn't ready to defend himself and his beliefs. War wasn't a place for kids like them.

Silently, Tommy gestured for Tubbo to come closer. When the brunette complied, he guided his gaze to the window, overlooking the land and the blackstone walls.

"Look at this, Tubbo. This is L'manburg. We built these walls from the ground up, we made this place a home," he sighed. "If you've got something to fight for, you fight for it. This is what we've got."

Tubbo averted his gaze. "But what if something happens? What if you get hurt, or taken, or- or- what if you die? How am I meant to go on without you?"

"Tubbo-"

"What am I without you?"

Tommy took one of his cold, shaking hands.

"Yourself."

***

Tubbo didn't want to be himself. He was so fucking tired of being himself.

He didn't want to be scared anymore. He didn't want to be weak, indecisive, confused, it all just got in the way. Every problem he'd ever had was set up by his flaws.

'Oh, to be unflawed,' he would always wonder. 'To not think. To not fear. To be fire.'

Tubbo fights like fire. He's angry, overwhelmed, tired. He doesn't know who's side he's on. He doesn't even know who he's fighting. If someone strikes, he strikes back. What a destructive way to live.

Him? Schlatt's successor? He wasn't cut out to be president. He couldn't do it. When he thought about that, he fought for Pogtopia. Putting them back in power was the best thing he could do.

But did they really care about him? They never even tried to reach out to him over the year and a half they were separated. Of course, Tubbo couldn't know that for certain, but he wasn't thinking straight. Not at all. When he thought of that, he fought for Manburg.

And who knows, maybe he was meant to be president. Maybe he could fix Schlatt's mistakes, restore L'manburg. It would be amazing to be listened to. But what if he ruined it even more? Beyond repair, even?

When he thought of that, he didn't know who to fight for. Why was he fighting to begin with?

There was no time to think. He was met with an opponent. Tubbo's uniform and helmet differed from those of the other, making him the soldier's enemy. The unknown soldier struck first, which made them an enemy to Tubbo as well. Fate forcing them against each other, they began.