On Holiday With One Direction

Nearly over.

Hollies POV:

~~~1 week later~~~

This week had been a very eventful week, we found out that Zara had cheated on harry for our high school mate Aaron.

Aaron has a girlfriend....and a son.

I couldn't just stop being her friend. We had been friends since we were 15 so it was hard to let go of someone who had been so involve in my life for more than 3 years.

But what she did to Harry...it hurt to even think about it.

After the fiasco in the kitchen he just....I don't know, shut down? I guess that would be the right word. But you know when you shut down your computer it always has like a light still on or you can here a little buzzing from it? Yeah well Harry lost his light thy day. He doesn't speak If he can help it. He doesn't smile. He doesn't eat. He doesn't drink. He doesn't make eye contact. He doesn't even move half the time. An when he does it's either to go to bed, to get away from us, or to go to the bathroom. Where he's been spending most of his time...

I wish I could help him to be honest . I wish I could hug him and tell him everything will turn out okay, that there are many of fish in the sea. But I just...can't? I guess. I think no one can really help him. Not me. Not Liam. Not his mum. Not even Louis. Mostly cause whenever we talk to him, try to get him involved in stuff or try to comfort him. He just goes into shut down mode and the only thing he does is stare at the wall ahead and breathe. Barely.

It's kinda scary to see him like that. To know he's in that much pain. But to be honest even a person that he loves couldn't do that much damage. There's something more than just a beak up. Something deeper. Because every break up he's been through -from what Liam says anyway- It usually takes ice cream, movies, days in bed and Louis. For him to recover before he's back to his flirty ,charming and outgoing self. But not this time. He's almost...dead. On the inside.

I was on Facebook the other day and I saw a picture that said;

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Emotionally: I'm done.

Mentally: I'm drained.

Spiritually: I'm dead.

Physically: I smile.

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I kinda thought that related to harry...quite alot. Apart from he doesn't really smile. He try's and you can see it. But it looks forced and strained . His smile doesn't reach his eyes and make them shine.

And before you all think I'm falling for him for noticing these things. Your very wrong. I notice this stuff because he's literally like my brother. He means so much to me. He's my best guy friend. Out of all the boys -apart from Louis- I'm closest with Harry.

I don't feel sorry for him, I want to but I won't because I know how pity feels and it honestly just makes people feel worse than they did before. Some people may want it. But I know harry and I bet he doesn't want any pity. Or attention. I think he just wants to be alone.

It hurts y'know. To watch someone you care about fade and be in that much emotional pain. It really hurts To know I can't help and that there is nothing I can do to make it better. Be able To numb the pain and make him...himself again. I just feel helpless towards the situation.

I honestly just want the old Harry back. The ones that makes every one laugh. Who makes people smile from just looking at his. The one who inspires people with his music and make people fall in love with his voice.

The last 3 concerts the boys did harry didn't dance or joke. He barely even smiled. He just stood there, moving across the stage sometimes but other than that he just sang. In 'more than this' he was practically crying. All the fans thought it was cute actually and kept breaking out in random squeals of 'awes' thinking he was just getting lost in the music. I'm glad they didn't know the real reason. It would break their hearts.

I'm actually glad the boys have such amazing fans. People call then obsessive and stalkerish. But when the boys say they are just dedicated. They mean it. Directioners actually care about the boys .They ask about their day and how it's going. They would be hurting if the boys were hurting. I admire them for that.

These past couple of days he's been the same though.

He's just on shut down mode. The whole time. All day. Everyday. Since Zara left thats how hes been.

She left to go back to New Zealand and won't be coming back. I don't know what will be happening between her an Aaron but frankly I actually don't care. I don't care about her anymore. For what she's done. I hate her.

I don't like feeling hate. It's such a horrible emotion. It eats you from the inside an darkens all your other emotions. Until finally I guess..you snap. I don't want to snap. I don't want to feel this. But I can't help it.

We are now on our way to our last concert stop of the tour. It finally becoming over. It kinda scares me actually, that I might not see the boys again.

They live in London England, we live in New Zealand. Actually correction Anna use to live in New Zealand now -after the tour- she will be going to London.

Her and Niall are pretty serious and are gonna buy a apartment together. And her mum completely supports the whole thing and even paid for her ticket.

But sadly I won't be going with her. As you all know my mum she just...doesn't care what I want? She also for sure doesnt care about me. And because of that she refused to let me leave. I said I would pay for my own ticket but she said if I left. She would never speak to me again. Ever.

And it's quite stupid because she doesn't care about me but I still need her. Not to support me because I'm the one who supports her. That's why she needs me. But I still care about her. I want her in my life. I guess I'm still hoping she will change into a loving mum. Someone who will hug me when I'm sad. Cook me warm nourishing stews and make me chicken soup when I'm sick. I know this wont happen but there's a part of me who won't let that dream go.

So in 5 days I'm going back to New Zealand. Anna's going with the rest Of the boys to London. George has decided to go to England too, he says he's going on a search to find 'the girl of his dreams'. He met a girl on the Internet awhile ago and has decided to go find her. The only thing I know is that her names is Iris. And lastly Joy. She's going back to New York to live with our dad and his new girlfriend again. I'm gonna miss all of them so much.

Me and Louis will keep in contact through Skype and text and Facebook. And maybe I can have another holiday soon. But for now it's back to slaving away in the local supermarket, and trying to fill the glass jar labeled 'freedom' which sits on my window sill.

I have four more days left with my closest friends so let's try make then special...

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So that was just a filler chapter to fill you guys in on what's going on.

--------IMPORTANT--------

10 votes and 5 comments please? And I know your like woah! Shit Alice!? Are you mad?! But it's just my uncle is coming to New Zealand and he lives in Scotland and I haven't seen him in 3 years. So it will be harder to update so yeh.

Anna's reaction to the chapter - 'urg soppy emotional chapter

Thanks guys :)

Xx <3