The Wolf Within BOOK ONE (COMPLETE)

Chapter Twenty Four: The Pain of Losing a Pack pt. 2

Chapter Twenty Four: The Pain of Losing a Pack pt. 2

*Mature, dark mental health theme 

It had been three months since I returned to the Shadow Wolf pack. One month since I had began my attempt at being happy. And yet nothing had changed. I could feel myself growing more and more numb every day, the fake smile glued to my face. My wolf had long gone silent and I could barely feel her.

Soon I'd drift away into the darkness.

"Look at the flower Luna!" Rocky giggled.

I blinked at him, increasing my smile. Phoenix had went back to training his men a week ago, and during then I would visit the children of the pack with Layla at my side. Sometimes Natalia would come too. I wasn't allowed near Dawn, Bear didn't trust me and Phoenix didn't seem to press the issue.

"Very pretty," I said with fake enthusiasm.

He smiled before turning and spotting his mother. Then Layla and I were forgotten and I realized training was over for now. Lucy sent me a wave and I returned it before sitting down on the bench to which Layla sat down beside me. She hummed, making me glance at her.

"The Alpha is on his way."

"Ok," I said softly.

Back to my cage.

The sun was beginning to set, I watched it do so as Phoenix appeared at my side. He told me about his day, and I told him about my own. It all felt so empty. I didn't belong here, I didn't belong anywhere. I was useless, Phoenix deserved better.

"I think I'll skip dinner," I said as we reached the pack house.

He looked at me in surprise, "Are you alright?"

No.

"Yes," I lied, "Just tired."

He nodded patiently, "I'll check on you after dinner."

I returned to my own room, keeping my smile on my face until I reached my room. This room was still mine, for when I didn't want to stay in his room. I've been sleeping alone in this room ever since I returned. Phoenix didn't question it. Then, it melted away as I shut the door. I pulled my curtains closed, plunging the room into darkness. Then I moved to the bed. Wanting to sleep.

"I wished I could just vanish," I whispered.

You can.

I looked up, in my room stood Amber. My eyes widened as I stared at my sister. I-I didn't understand how she was here. Then, for a moment, she flickered. It was an illusion. Someone moon blessed with illusions I'd guess.

"W-What do you want?" I whispered.

I'm here to help free you from the sorrow. She whispered in my head.

I rose out of the bed, "How?"

The fake Amber smiled, she stepped forward, whispering forbidden words in my ear. My eyes widened, tears dripping down my face and quickly, I shook my head. I-I couldn't do something like that I—I couldn't.

He'll move on, she said, like he did the first time. Remember, you are just a replacement.

She was right. All doubts left my mind and I began to move. My wolf didn't try to stop me, we had no fight left. I pulled open the bedroom door and moved through the hall. Silently, I moved to the bathroom. At my side Bear appeared. He caught my wrist before I could move.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

I looked at him with blank eyes. I felt nothing.

"I need a bath," I said simply.

His eyes widened, "Y-You're not alright. Go back to your room before you do something you will one day regret. You're not in the right mind set."

Pulling my wrist from his hand and turned on my heels. It wouldn't work this way.

The Beta let out a breath, "I will get Phoenix. It's time he stopped giving you time and patience. You are dangerous to yourself as well it seems. You need proper help. Go to Phoenix' room, his scent should calm you until he arrives."

"Ok," I said.

Nodding to himself, he turned. No doubt off to get Phoenix. It seemed he forgot there was a bathroom in Phoenix' room. I made my way there without any thoughts nor feelings. I felt nothing. I had nothing to stay here for. Except him, but Phoenix would move on.

I stepped into his room and closed the door, locking it. It wouldn't stop him but it would give me more time. I couldn't afford to fail, not for his sake. I only caused sorrow to those around me, I was nothing but sorrow.

Drawing the bath, I didn't bother pulling off my dress. Instead, I slipped into the cold water, not caring when the water sloshed over the sides. For a moment I hesitated. My heart ached. Amber appeared again, this time sitting across from me in the water. She smiled, tears on her face.

Goodbye sister, this is best.

I smiled, "Goodbye."

Then, I closed my eyes, allowing the water to consume me. My wolf let out a loud howl before I pushed her away. We didn't like pain. It burned my lungs, it hurt. Everything hurt. Darkness crept in on me and I relaxed. Letting the pain consume me, I began to drift off.

"Wyren!"

Phoenix's voice as my final memory, how sweet. 

FINAL CHAPTER NEXT WEEK!