Song: Not Gonna Cry- Emma Steinbakken
Disappointed
Hindi na ako nagulat pa nang mabilis na kumalat ang nangyari sa emergency room. My co-interns were so keen on finding out how I did it that they even flocked around me just so they would get hear my answer.
"Hindi ka ba pinagalitan?" kuryosong tanong ni Nigel.
Uh, well... about that...
At dahil nga mabilis na kumalat ang balita tungkol doon, agad rin nakarating iyon kay Lucas. He's the resident in charge to supervise our group so I'm not surprised when he quickly heard about it.
At first, I was expecting him to at least tell me that I did a great job because I saved someone's life. But... what I didn't expect is for him to scold me.
I get it. What I did was wrong but I was in an urgent situation and I had to think and move fast. Ilang minuto rin kaming naghihintay sa attending pero ang tagal nitong dumating.
As a doctor, I couldn't let my patient die in my hands. I was there and I know I have the capacity to save his life and so I did.
"Is it true that you drill a burr hole in a patient's head?"
Iyon agad ang naging tanong ni Lucas sa akin nang dumating siya sa ER. Tahimik pa akong nagcecelebrate sa ginawa ko kanina nang salubungin niya ako. His arms are crossed and he looks dead serious.
"Uhm... yeah, I did," I answered nervously. "Why? What's wrong?"
Mariin niyang ipinikit ang kanyang mga mata at hinilot ang sentido. I bit my lip because it seems like he's annoyed with what I did. I suddenly became uneasy.
"What did I tell you during your first day of internship?"
I bit my lip and tried to remember the many things that he said during that day.
"That if ever an emergency occured, we should not handle the patient alone. We need you or any attending's supervision before we do any medical procedure."
"O? Alam mo naman pala? Then, why did you do it?"
Hindi agad ako nakasagot at nanatili lang na nakatingin sakanya. Hindi ko naman inaasahan na magiging ganito ang reaksyon niya. I thought he's really going to tell me that I did a great job.
But maybe... I expected too much. Maganda mang tingnan ang ginawa ko para sa akin, pero sa iba... maaaring hindi.
Hindi ko rin naman masisisi si Lucas kung bakit siya nagagalit ng ganito. He has a point after all. Siguro ayaw niya lang rin malagay kaming dalawa sa kapahamakan. Ayaw niya rin sigurong makarating pa ito sa iba at pag-usapan lalo ang nangyari.
He's tasked to oversee our work. Kaya kung may mali man kaming magawa, maaaring siya rin ang masisi.
I sigh. I gave him an apologetic look.