Chapter Twenty-Four

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Song: How can I love the heartbreak, you're the one I love- AKMU

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Song: How can I love the heartbreak, you're the one I love- AKMU

Karaoke

If there's one thing that this heartbreak has taught me, that would be my realization that there are still different forms of love than what I made myself believe. I have come to understand that I can let someone go and love them still.

If I have to give up Lucas... I think I would. Even if it's hard. Because I couldn't stand the fact that I was taking somebody else's future man. What if he's really meant or destined with somebody else? And what if I'm also destined to be with another person? The time that I'm spending chasing Lucas was supposed to be the time I spend with the person I'm meant to be with.

Deciding to keep him away from me for my own good—despite all the love and all the things that I might still be holding on for him—might also be the world's way to tell me that it is also for my future's gain.

I just can't keep on fighting alone. It's tiring to try and prove myself to him over and over. To try and do everything for him to feel the same.

I realized why it was bad to be so desperate for him. He's not the last guy on earth. Sure, I love him. I still do. I can't control my feelings but I can control how I act around him.

I realized that a part of everything I do, I do it to feel his validation. Kasi pakiramdam ko, sa ganoong paraan, naaappreciate niya ang mga ginagawa ko. Even if it's important to chase what we want, I realized that I shouldn't beg for his attention. Dahil kung gusto niya talaga ako, kusa niyang ibibigay sa akin iyon.

I honestly couldn't stop crying once I reached the locker room. It hurts really badly every time I try to look back at it. I went home looking so dull and tired. 'Di pa nakatulong na ang lungkot pa ng tugtog sa radyo habang pauwi ako kaya iritable kong pinatay iyon at nagtiis nalang sa katahimikan.

Pero parang kahit iyong katahimikan pinapahirapan ako dahil sa bawat oras na tumatakbo wala na akong ibang naisip kung hindi iyong nasaksihan ko kanina.

"Gosh! You're so pathetic, Fel!" I said irritably to myself. I violently wiped my tear away when I realized that I'm crying again.

Carmela already sensed that there's something wrong with me. Sinubukan niya akong tanungin kung ano ba ang problema pero dahil wala ako sa kundisyon at ayaw ko munang balikan ang nangyari, hindi ko nagawang sabihin sakanya.

She told me that if I'm ready, she'll be there to listen.

Sinabunutan ko ang sarili ko dahil sa patuloy na pag-agos ng luha mula sa aking mga mata. It's so frustrating that I'm crying over such a petty thing! Wala naman kami pero kung makaiyak ako akala mo naman naging kami nang ilang taon.

"Oh, Felicity! Andyan ka na pala! Kain-" salubong ni Mommy nang makitang nakauwi na ako. Ngunit agad rin naman siyang natigilan nang magsalita ako. 

Under the Same Skies (Donovan Series #7)Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon