Can you even fix something that's already broken

It's Okay

PETER'S POV
It had been about 20 minutes when Loki finally took his hand off y/n's forehead. Not even 3 seconds after he did, y/n's eyes shot wide open.

"Y/n?" I asked slowly.

I don't think she was actually fully conscious yet because she looked confused, scared, panicked, and her eyes kept darting back and forth scanning the room. When she glanced at me for a split second I noticed her blood shot eyes. She started breathing really heavily like she had just ran 5 miles and tears were forming in her eyes. In seconds, she was sobbing, shaking, and gasping for air.

"Hey it's okay, I'm right here. You're okay, take a deep breath." She didn't listen to me though...

"I c-could-couldn't do-... I-I s-should have p-pro-protected her...... I sh-should have sa-saved her! I'm so sorry I didn't protect her!" Y/n stuttered through loud sobs, as she looked towards Mr. Stark, before falling to her knees.

Loki followed her to the floor and took her face in his hands, "Y/n if you hadn't gone upstairs and called Tony, you would have been killed too. Think about what Tony would be going through then, you did the right thing. Your mother told you to go upstairs, she wanted you to be safe even though that meant she wouldn't be. You can't blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault."

"But s-she was my mom, it is my fault....... I let her die!" Y/n cried.

Mr. Stark closed his eyes but I still saw the single tear roll down his face that he was trying to hold back.

"Baby look at me," Loki said but she kept shaking her head no and babbling nonsense, "Y/n, look at me." Loki urged gently. She slowly brought her eyes up to meet his, they were red, puffy, and tears stained her face.

It felt like someone was twisting a knife in my heart... I hated seeing her like this. She was my best friend in the whole world, ever since we first met. I remember the time, after being friends for almost a year, she had admitted that when we first met, she thought I was really dorky. I had asked if that was a bad thing and she said that it was kinda adorable. I never told a single soul this, but I loved her. I have ever since the first week of meeting her. Ever since the first smile, the first laugh, the first hug, the first time she let her walls down around me, every single moment we shared together.

I remember the time she fell asleep in my arms, we were in my bed watching a movie...
*flashback*
We decided on, "The Notebook" cause we were in the mood to watch a romance movie. It was really late and we weren't supposed to be up but that never stopped us before. Me and y/n were tip toeing downstairs to make popcorn and grab sodas for our movie. We were trying to hold back our laughter cause for some reason everything's 20 times funnier when you're supposed to be quiet. Of course, we had both spilled the soda when we were pouring it into glasses and y/n let a loud snorting laugh slip out. I lost my balance and tried to grab the counter, but I just ended up bringing the bowl of popcorn down with me. She bent over laughing her ass off at me. I laughed with her and we both tried to hold back our laughter as we cleaned up the popcorn and spilled drinks. We went upstairs with what remaining popcorn was still in the bowl. We got comfy under the covers before starting the movie. She moved her head so that it was resting on my chest and hesitantly put her hand on my chest close to her head. I felt butterflies in my stomach and excitement swell up inside me. Halfway through the movie I thought this was my chance. "Hey y/n... can I ask you a question?" I finally got the courage to say something but she didn't respond. I realized she was asleep when my ears picked up on her soft breathing. I smiled to myself and wrapped an arm around her gently. I carefully put the popcorn bowl on my nightstand so I wouldn't wake her. I turned the tv off and laid there, relishing in the feeling of having the girl I love, in my arms.
*end of flashback*

There was never a good time to tell her after that... or I just never got the courage to ask her. Then she met Bucky. Since I was her best friend she told me everything. So, she would tell me about how her and Bucky's relationship was going, all the little things he had done for her, all the amazing dates he took her on, all the details about how perfect he was, and how happy she was.

I was there for her when Bucky left, I was the one who comforted her, who held her when she cried, who took care of her when she didn't want her dad to know about certain things. I was there for her when Darrian left, I comforted her when she cried, I let her sleep in my bed with me when she didn't want to be alone, I watched movies with her to keep her mind off of things, I cheered her up when she needed it. I was going to tell her I loved her after the whole Darrian thing settled down. But then she told me that she had slept with Loki. I never told told her the truth after that. I just watched as she fell in love with another person that wasn't me.