Stage Fright

Chapter 49 ~ Pep Talk

Heather

I was really happy, I hadn't been to many parties like this one where everyone left me alone and I could genuinely enjoy myself. On top of that I had Josh with me tonight, he was looking out for me and I felt totally free.

The peak of our high had worn off, now I was onto drinking. Josh was playing a round of beer pong and I was sitting at the island in the kitchen, happily drunk and scrolling through my phone.

"Hey Heather." Katie says, taking the seat next to mine and I smile, setting my phone down.

"Hey." I say kindly and she smiles. "You look cute tonight."

"Oh, thanks." She says with a smile and then looks at the counter in front of her, pressing her lips together. "C-can I ask you about something while Josh is gone?"

"Sure." I tell her, turning to look at her a bit better and she blows out a tense breath.

"Have you ever.......done it?" She asks quietly. I feel my eyes widen a bit at the forward question and then I laugh a bit.

"What? Like had sex?" I ask and she nods nervously. "Yes." I answer and she nods a bit and then takes the bottle of tequila off the counter in front of us and takes a quick drink of it. She goes to take another one and I put my hand out and stop her. "Woah, take it easy." I tell her and she sighs, setting it back down. "Katie, you can talk to me. I'm not going to judge you."

"I-I'm just trying to make up my mind." She mumbles.

"About what?" I ask and she sighs.

"Whenever I'm with Colin, I feel close to him. He comes off as a bit of an asshole, but he's nice deep down." She defends and I nod. "I have like.....zero experience with anyone and whenever we're together things always heat up and I don't know if I'm ready for it." She blurts out and then shakes her head.

"Katie, don't feel ashamed of that." I insist. "There are days I wish I didn't have any experience."

"B-but this part of me feels like if I'd already done it maybe it would be easier to just be with him-"

"It's not easy to sleep with someone you care about, it's easy to sleep with someone you don't." I whisper. "If you don't feel right about taking a big step, then don't take it. Don't do that to yourself."

"It's not that he's pressuring me but......god I can't relax." She admits, scratching the back of her neck. "I don't know what it is, I'm not afraid of him.....I don't know.....is it bad to say I like the idea of it?" She asks and I shake my head with a small laugh.

"No, of course not." I tell her and she smiles. "Guys aren't the only ones that think about it."

"Even though I've never done it?" She asks and I shake my head.

"Still no." I tell her and she sighs. "There's no countdown clock on having sex." I remind her and she nods quietly. "Have you two done.....anything?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"Absolutely nothing." She admits. "I feel like he gets pissed whenever I stop it." She mumbles and I nod a bit, but then I think a bit to myself and shake my head instead.

"Katie, he's not mad that you won't go further." I tell her and she furrows her eyebrows. "He's upset that you feel insecure and you're not talking about it with him." Her eyes widen when I say that, she looks almost shocked that she hadn't thought of that before. "Have you guys talked about sex at all? Does he know you're a virgin?"

"I've never......come out and said it." She mumbles, running her hands over her face. "But I'm sure he's figured it out by now. And no, I can't talk about that with him." She hisses, looking over at him and Josh playing a game of beer pong together.