Stage Fright

Chapter 62 ~ Presents and Tears

Heather

I felt like I'd been through hell, my body hurt a fair bit and my skin was littered with bruises. I barely got any sleep last night, I couldn't relax enough to do it. Of course the threat was gone, but knowing what he did to me was sticking with me.

It was the fact that I could have left Josh behind, that I never would have held his hand again. If they hadn't got Zeke when they did, it would have been the fact that I would have felt dirty and I wouldn't have been able to have anyone touch me.

One of the ways Josh most showed me he cared was by holding me, kissing me. If I had to give that up for a while I don't know what I would have done. But all I wanted the second I saw him was for him to wrap me into a safe hug and make the world disappear. He was asleep in the chair next to my bed, one hand loosely in mine.

I probably wouldn't be able to sleep right for a long time, it took me ages to get over it back in September, now it had started all over again.

"Hey beautiful." I hear and I look up to see Josh stretching slightly, grabbing my hand more tightly.

"Hi." I whisper and he smiles.

"Did you sleep?" He asks and I nod.

"Some." I tell him and he nods. "Sorry you had to sleep in that chair."

"Don't be, it was a total five-star experience." He laughs, stretching his neck out and I laugh. "Do you feel alright?"

"I'm okay, a little pain here and there but I just want to sleep in a normal bed and eat real food." I tell him and he smiles a bit. "Dad went to the nurses station ten minutes ago to get me discharged and to go to the car, he brought me some clothes from home last night."

"Good, get home and get cleaned up a bit." He says and I nod with a smile. "I'll help you pack if you want."

"You're a godsend." I whisper and he laughs. "What about your stuff?"

"I'm packed up already, I did it a few nights ago. Plus I already have some stuff at my moms." He says and I smile. "I won't leave you today."

"What if you need to pee?" I tease and he laughs.

"You'd better be ready to join me." He says and I chuckle. 

"Come here." I whisper, pushing myself to sit up. "Give me a hug." I tell him and he laughs, sitting on the edge of my bed and giving me a big hug.

That whole experience was absolutely terrifying, I knew it scared him too. He couldn't be with me and keep me safe, he had to trust that I'd come out the other side. I really loved being like this, when his arms were wrapped around me and I could just......feel how much he loved me.

Sometimes I'd feel oddly alright, others I'd start crying again. I was determined to get through this and come out the other side stronger. I wouldn't be one of those people who let a traumatic event completely shatter their life, or some sociopath that wouldn't see a therapist and would block it all out. In order to move past something you have to talk about it, that's what I learned when I finally told my dad what happened back in September.

"I love you." He whispers and I smile, feeling one of his fingertips on the bare skin of my back, between the space of either side of hospital gown.

"And I love you." I whisper back, running my fingers through his hair and trying to breathe in the smell of his cologne. I smelled like hospital and it was grossing me out.

There's a knock at the hospital door and Josh moves back a bit so it looks like we're just sitting and having a chat. The door opens with a nurse and a doctor, my dad following behind with a small bag over his shoulders.