Stage Fright

Chapter 10 ~ Party Animals

Heather

"Girl, what is wrong with you tonight?" Julia asks, going through the rack in my closet. "You don't seem excited at all, this is going to be so fun." She insists and I sigh.

"Yeah, I know." I mumble, leaning in close to the mirror and tweezing a rogue eyebrow hair.

"So then what's the matter?" She asks and I shrug, digging through one of the drawers in my vanity.

"I just have a weird feeling." I tell her, grabbing my moisturizer and rubbing it into my skin. "I feel like something's going to go wrong."

"Why on earth would you feel like that?" She asks and I shake my head.

"I really have no clue." I admit.

"Didn't Zeke apologize?" She asks and I nod. "I thought you'd be happy."

"There's something about it that I don't like." I sigh. "It's like he only apologized because he was tired of people noticing the two of us fighting." I tell her, starting to pull out my make-up. "It didn't feel like he wanted to apologize, just that he was tired of fighting."

"Well that's not so bad is it?" She asks, pulling down a top from one of the racks in my closet. "Can I wear this?" She asks and I shrug.

"Sure, go nuts." I tell her. "And I guess I liked that he apologized but.....I don't know how to describe it. It's like I can't relax around him." I tell her and she raises her eyebrows. "I feel like it wasn't entirely sincere, I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking it?" I suggest and she shrugs.

"Well, I know you, Heather." She says quietly, continuing to browse my clothing racks. "You seem to have a pretty good gut feeling about most things."

"I know right?" I ask, thankful I wasn't alone in my thoughts. "But it's the most empathetic he's ever been, he gave me a gift and he did apologize." I sigh. "Maybe I want too much, he did more for me than he usually does. That should count for something?"

"Can I give you some advice?" She asks, putting down the clothes and walking over to sit on the stool next to mine. I nod and she sighs. "You shouldn't be thinking about it this much." She tells me and I run my fingers through my hair, nodding my head. "Heather, if you were happy you wouldn't feel like this."

"I know, but it's the way he is." I tell her and she furrows her eyebrows. "He doesn't do things my way, he's not the person I want him to be." I mumble and she sighs. "But we're working on it, we made progress-"

"Heather." She sighs and I press my lips together. "It's been nearly six months. How much more time is it going to take to see those changes?" She asks and I lower my eyes. "If he's not what you need and your ideals just don't line up, maybe you shouldn't be-"

"No." I tell her shaking my head. "I'm not going to break-up with him."

"What?" She asks. "No, you can't be serious. You can't change him, Heather."

"I don't want to change him." I tell her. "I just......I wish it wasn't like pulling teeth to get him to listen to me." 

"Come on." She begs. "You're making yourself miserable with all this worrying. I know you care about him but......I want you to be happy." She tells me and I sigh. "It kills me to see you so upset all the time, worried over what he'll think or say to you."

"I guess." I mutter. I wished she would have come over and told me the opposite, that I just needed to give him time and that we could work it out. But Julia wasn't like that, she was always honest to a tee. She didn't beat around the bush and sometimes that was what I needed to hear.