Stage Fright

Chapter 43 ~ New Beginnings

Heather

Maybe my car had been trashed, my ex-boyfriend was obsessively stalking me and me and my dad had a massive fight last night.......but I sure as hell felt like the luckiest girl alive. 

Josh Baxter loved me.

I never thought I was good enough for Josh, that there was no way he was lying awake at night thinking about me. But he was......he really loved me like I loved him. The worst thing to happen in my whole life had happened yesterday, but I felt like I was walking on clouds. It was also the best day of my life, because the person I was in love with loved me back.

"Heather, I'm heading downstairs. Come down when you're finished!" Josh calls from the other side of the bathroom door and I smile.

"Okay, I shouldn't be much longer!" I call back, giving my face a really good rinse. 

I was almost happy enough to forget the guilt about what I'd said to my dad yesterday. I regretted all of it, he was my dad and I should have come to him. But I didn't want him to know someone had done that to me......but more importantly I didn't want him to feel guilty for not being there.

I shouldn't have blamed him for leaving me all the time. He worked so hard and I knew he tried his absolute hardest to make things work the way they were. But I couldn't help how I felt, neglected, like I wasn't important to him. I didn't want to be living in that ridiculous mansion when there was no one else there. I thought I could keep it together until I left for university but I wasn't that lucky. 

I'd spent the night at Josh's, I knew if he wasn't with me I wouldn't have gotten any sleep and we had a massive rehearsal tonight. I was applying my make-up in the washroom across the hall, trying to make myself presentable for the day. I was trying to stay positive and pretend like I wasn't falling apart.

I didn't really even want to go to school today, I had to go to the practice, but if it were up to me I wouldn't be going at all. I was going to put on a brave face, that's all.

The only good thing about living in a gated community was that I did feel mildly safe living in it. Not just anybody could show up whenever they liked and my house was very secure. That put my mind at ease when I dumped Zeke, he couldn't just show up at my house all the time. The saddest part about all of that is if I hadn't had Josh at all and Zeke could have kept coming back.....I would have had a hard time really letting him go.

But with Josh I understood how a healthy relationship was was supposed to work. I realized that it didn't have to be some uphill battle all the time, that the perfect person would make it all feel easy. And that person was Josh.

We'd had such a wonderful night, we ate dinner together, played some music for a while. I always felt like I understood Josh through his music, like we really had this deep connection. Not only when he'd play the guitar, but when he'd play songs off of his Spotify for me.

Last night while we laid in his bed and he had his music going he said something that melted my heart. "I'll make you a playlist soon." He whispered, running his hands over my back. "I want it to be perfect." Those were easily the most romantic words I'd ever heard. 

I finish my make up and pack up my stuff. I walk back downstairs and see Josh by the stove making what looked like breakfast. I just smiled and dropped my stuff, walking over behind him quietly and looping my arms around his waist.

"Hey." He says turning his head back to look at me and I smile.

"Hi." I whisper and he sets down the spatula and wraps his arms around me. "You look nice." He tells me and I smile. It was the little things with Josh, he always made me feel special.