Stage Fright

Chapter 22 ~ Bruises

Heather

I was not in the right mood for school today. I barely slept last night, I kept tossing and turning in my bed all by myself. I forced myself to let Josh go home. He had hard classes just like me and I felt guilty for taking up all of his time.

He called me before bed, that helped a lot. He'd been my anchor for almost thirty-six hours so to lose him suddenly was unfortunate. I'd text him when I got worked up or when I needed a friend. I couldn't hang out with my other friends until the bruises faded and I started to move past it. 

Maybe I'd sort of nailed my coffin shut by not telling anyone else. But I just felt so embarrassed and ashamed, I couldn't bear the thought of talking about it with anyone else. So that meant I'd either harass Josh constantly or freak myself out thinking about it.

But I needed to try and get strong again, I didn't want to block the pain out but I wanted to move past it. That started with getting rid of Zeke on Friday, I wanted to distract myself from the thoughts so I'd play the piano. On top of homework and musical rehearsals, I should be covered.

My outfit today was not what I wanted to be wearing. I was put-together, but it was conservative. It felt like I was hiding my skin, I just hoped nobody else would notice. I bruise like a peach and Zeke had left pretty deep marks. 

It was another turtle neck, a sweater vest over that and a straight tennis skirt. I also had on a jean jacket, it felt like I was all layered up and with my sunglasses I knew it probably looked a little ridiculous. But I wanted to hide myself, feel like I could sink into solidarity. 

But I didn't want to look lazy, like this break up had ruined my life and I was upset over it. To be honest, I didn't really care that Zeke wasn't my boyfriend anymore. He'd never treated me well and it wasn't worth it to keep him around just because my dad hated him. What I was upset about was what he'd done to me.

I tuck the sunglasses into my hair for the morning to avoid anyone thinking I was upset. I kept getting worried about my sleeves, if they were long enough. It didn't take much to show the edge of the bruises around my wrists. 

Luckily, I hadn't run into Zeke yet. Nobody in my close circle was in my classes really. But even then I could tell people were talking about me, whispering to each other. I hoped I could stay out of the gossip loop for the day, that people could just leave me alone.

"Heather!" I hear and I see Julia running behind me. I try to smile but it really comes out as more of a grimace. She slows down and immediately furrows her eyebrows. "What's wrong?" She asks and I shake my head.

"Nothing, I'm just tired." I tell her and she shakes her head.

"I watched you come into school with a coffee today." She says and I smile, trying to calm her suspicions. 

"I guess it wasn't strong enough." I tell her and she follows me into the bathroom.

"So....." She says looking all over the bathroom, determining it's empty before continuing her sentence. "What happened?" She asks and I shake my head.

"What do you mean?" I ask going through my bag. 

"I mean, on Friday you were determined to work things out and you were willing to give him another chance and in less than twelve hours you broke up with him and took him off of your socials." She says crossing her arms. "Something happened, what was it?"

"Nothing, you were right." I tell her, pulling a lip balm out of the make-up bag in my backpack. "He was just out of chances." I tell her bitterly.

"So then why haven't I seen you all weekend?" She asks worriedly and I lean in close to the bathroom mirror to apply the lip balm.

"I was busy, I had a lot to do." I mumble.