Stage Fright

Chapter 64 ~ Reunion

Heather

This had been a busy week, lots of skiing and physical activity and I wasn't getting enough sleep. I kept waking up through the night and I was desperately missing Josh. I needed him for one good night's sleep, maybe he'd help me forget it all.

I couldn't wait to be home, dad and I were boarding the plane now, all of our stuff safely tucked away in cargo. Dad usually got a private flight for this holiday trip just because of the sheer number of things we were bringing back. He also wanted me to feel comfortable and safe. As spoiled as it was I was really enjoying the privacy.

I'd been journaling like crazy, Martha, my new therapist suggested it would be helpful to let me work through it all. She'd been coming over daily, like clockwork so I could talk to her. She was going to pass all of it along to a new therapist dad had set up back home. I didn't want to keep talking about it, it just made me upset and angry.

I wanted to move on, the only thing that was directly affecting me was my lack of sleep. I was exhausted. I wasn't telling dad either, but I'm sure he suspected it.

"You look ready to leave." Dad remarks sitting in the chair across from me. "No fun?" He asks and I shake my head with a laugh.

"It was lots of fun, I'm just tired." I mumble. 

"I meant to ask you about your sleep." He sighs. "Are you sleeping at all?" He asks and I nod.

"I can usually fall, I just can't stay asleep." I admit. "I'm up through the night."

"What do you think about what the doctor suggested about Melatonin? Just to see if that helps." He suggests and I nod.

"I'm alright with that." I say with a shrug. "I'll try staying in the same bed as Josh tonight too and see if that fixes it." I mumble and he chuckles with a nod.

"Miss him?" He asks and I sigh.

"A lot." I tell him, feeling embarrassed. "But he's been so great at keeping in touch with me through the break. He seemed like he had a good holiday."

"Good." Dad says and I nod. "How are you doing with everything?" He asks and I sigh.

"Better than I thought I would be." I admit. "I think the vacation was a good idea. I needed to leave for a bit, even if it made me lonely."

"Thats great to hear, and how did Martha work out? The doctors said it was important that you saw someone for a few months." He reminds me and I sigh.

"Weird." I mumble. "I'm not really used to sharing all of my private thoughts with strangers. But it does help to talk through it and her journaling helps me a lot." I tell him and he smiles. "I'm alright though, it's just the sleeping thing."

"You don't feel any P.T.S.D around it?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Not yet." I sigh. "Martha said that stuff would come out with time if it was present at all." I say and he nods. "Can we-um.....stop talking about this?" I ask, fidgeting my hands in my lap. "I spend so much time already thinking about it, I'm fine and if I become un-fine I'll come see you."

"Sorry honey." He says quietly. "I just worry."

"It's okay." I assure him, getting out my phone and earbuds. I also get out my book of crosswords and sudokus.

"Is that becoming a favourite sweater?" He asks and I nod, knowing I was wearing mine and Josh's sweater again.

I had been wearing it to sleep, it had been doing a lot to calm me down slightly before bed. But I figured I'd wear it home it was comfy and it made me happy.