DAMN

05

you wake up to Corpse yelling at around 4 am 

Corpse: I FUCKING HATE FOIL

you go into the kitchen and see him stabbing a roll of foil 

you: bro you scared the shit out of me 

corpse: sorry

he flops onto the couch and you stand there for a while and decide to eat something 

you: can we make spaghetti 

Corpse: knock yourself out ama

you: but I want you to help me bubbas

Corpse: okay I guess I can be nice 

he stand behind you watching for a while and you turn around and put a noodle in his hand 

you: eat 

corpse: why 

you: to see if it's done or not 

he puts it in his mouth and eats it 

Corpse: it's still hard in the middle 

you let the noodle cook for a little longer and you pour the water our and grab some sauce and mix it and you sit on the floor and eat and he stands there staring down at you 

you: you're scaring me Corpse

corpse: sorry 

he grabs a bowl and sit's next to you and you finish and go into the room with the pc you were using 

you: I'm doing a midnight stream I'm bored 

Corpse: I wanna join 

you: be my guest 

he sits in a chair next to you and you start the stream 

you: hi peoples 

Corpse: heyyyyy

your chat starts going crazy shipping you guys 

you: not the ship comments 

he grabs his phone and texts you 

Corpse: just tell them idgaffff

you: he's my boyfriend get over it stay mad end of story I'm playing among us suck my dick 

Corpse: Woah

you load up the game and join a random lobby and somebody starts spamming " what's a girl doing playing video games shouldn't you be in the kitchen cooking and cleaning" 

you: okay first of all baby you're like 9  second of all I have more balls than you any ay and third babyboy! I will fuck your mom and you will call me daddy don't play with me and lastly if you don't have the big balls to say that to your momma or grandma don't say that shit to me if you're gonna be on my stream you're gonna respect me end of story suck my motherfucking dick 

Corpse: everything she just said but in my voice 

you: yea!

he keeps spamming thing that girls "can't" do 

you: okay lemme apologize corpse this doesn't include you bebe

Corpse: whatever

you: I'm so fucking sorry that straight men don't have the ability to take care of themselves and have to survive off of what women do because they're too lazy

you: wow that's a long list of things that women can do better than you 

you ignore it and you play music and your chat starts spamming " play wap"