DAMN

029

someone knocks on your door and you get up and opens it 

you: hello 

tamia: why are you so down and bleeeh 

you: because this fucking kid likes to stomp on my bladder all day and I've peed myself twice 

mya: oh well sucks to suck 

you: be quiet

you lay down on the couch hugging a pillow and they sit next to you

mya:  so is he being all creepy and kissing your stomach and shit 

you: nope and i'm glad he's not 

tamia: sooooo you gonna have a baby shower

you: no 

mya: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

you: we just aren't there's no point the only people that know is you guys and us 

tamia: you didn't tell your gramma, your mom, your dad, or the EIGHT jackasses 

you: no i didn't and i'm gonna wait until i actually have it because it'll be harder for them to be mad and a cute baby 

corpse: bebe who was it 

you: tamia and mya 

corpse: nevermind 

tamia: damn what's his problem 

you: he decided that he should play full time servant the entire time so he's been willingly running out at 3am and shit and getting me pickles and ice cream 

mya: ohhhhhh yea he's out of it 100% gone 

you: i know and i todl him to stop and he won't so i just stopped asking for stuff for  while but guess what today is

tamia: 

you: 6 months starting the last trimester and- oh fuuuuuuuuuuck 

mya: what's wrong

you: fake ass contractions holy fuck i hate this shit 

tamia: that braxy hickeys or whatever the fuck 

you: mhm wooooow this is my last kid 

corpse: NO IT'S NOT 

you: MIND YOUR BUSINESS 

corpse: BLEH!

you: BLEH!

tamia: yea y'all are completely out of it we're gonna go before we catch any symptoms 

you: fuck you 

they leave and you go back to bed

you: corpse

corpse: yes 

you: fake contractions are starting

corpse: cool

 you: not cool it hurts so fucking badddddd

corpse: i know but soon we will have a stink baby

you:  yay i guess

you lay down and go to sleep and so does he

*********3 month time skip (9 months)********************

you: morning love

corpse: morning 

he reaches his hand over and immediately pulls it back 

corpse: you are 23 and you peed in the bed how does that fucking work 

you: i- OOOOOH FUCK 

corpse: what