Mine

[31]

The next morning, I woke up with Draco's arms tightly around me, him being soundly asleep behind me. I vaguely remembered him wrapping me in a towel and carrying me from the shower to his bed then giving me some pajama pants and a top. I remembered how I was so tired I nearly fell asleep in the shower, which is why Draco ended up carrying me back to his room. I was still tired, the crying and mental anguish having taken a toll on me. Despite this, I found myself unable to go back to sleep.

I carefully sat up in the bed, not wanting to wake up Draco. I felt him stir beside me as I ran my fingers through my hair. I was expecting it to be a knotted mess, but found it only mildly knotted the way it would be from sleeping on wet hair. Did I brush my hair before I fell asleep? Did Draco?

"Good morning." I heard Draco murmur from behind me, his voice thick from having just woken up. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright." I said quietly, looking down at him. Draco yawned, running a hand through his hair before he sat up and stretched out his arms and back.

"Can I ask you something?" Draco asked, to which I just shrugged slightly. "Why didn't you tell me what happened with the Carrows?"

I sighed, lowering myself back down onto the bed. "I just needed time to process it on my own. It...it triggered something inside of me that I needed the chance to work through."

"I'm sorry, again, about the veritaserum. That was selfish of me." Draco said, wrapping his arms around me once again.

"It was." I nodded in agreement, shifting in closer to his touch. I closed my eyes as Draco leaned his head against mine. I listened to the sound of his slow breathing and let it lull me back to sleep. This is exactly what I had needed from him all along.

Just as I was slipping into darkness, Draco spoke up once again. "Why didn't you tell me that you get these, these numbing moments, I think Blaise said you call them?" He whispered.

"I dunno. Didn't seem important." I mumbled with a shrug.

"Why wouldn't it be important? I don't want you to feel like you have to hold things back from me." He whispered back, his arms seeming to tighten their grip ever so slightly.

"I guess it's something that makes me feel weak, okay?" I said, my jaw setting slightly. I wouldn't let myself snap at him. Not when he was doing nothing wrong, just trying to better understand me. "It's not easy for me to talk about. It makes me feel...weak, and pathetic. I can't even control when it happens or when it passes. Normally I just pretend it isn't happening and can suppress it enough to go about my day when I'm around people. So, I didn't tell you because it was never an issue. Until now."

"Nothing you go through is an issue." Draco said, frowning so deeply I could feel it pressed against my hair. I pulled back slightly to look at him, seeing the scowl on his face. Though it wasn't a scowl of anger or annoyance, but one that showed he was truly upset and bothered by my words. "You don't have to hide these things from me and go through them alone. You don't always have to put on a strong front. I know I didn't exactly handle it well, but I was scared and didn't know what to do. I want to be there for you. I want to be the person you can lean on. Always."

I just stared at him, my heart aching slightly from knowing I'd hurt him in different ways over the past few days. "It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest when you said that sometimes you want to die." He whispered.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." I whispered back.

"But you did." Draco said, his eyebrows pulling together. "You did mean that. You said it with the truth serum in your system. I can't – I can't imagine my life without you."