Mine

[51]

Blaise and I never talked about what happened at the club. It was for the best, really. I didn't want to have to go through the embarrassment of discussing the fact I'd been a drunken mess. As much fun as I'd had that night, it left a lingering feeling of emptiness. And I couldn't stop thinking about how my mind had to ruin that moment of good by tricking my eyes into believing they'd caught a glimpse of Draco. It just wasn't fair.

I was once again in the piano room, my eyes closed and my fingers pounding down on the keys as I let the music speak the thoughts that were suffocating me.

"Would you fucking stop with all the piano playing!" The bellowing of my brother from behind me snapped me out of my trance. I turned slowly, looking at him with wide eyes.

"I can't fucking take it anymore!" He shouted at me. "We get it, you're sad. We're all bloody sad, Gemma!"

"Grant –" I began but was quickly cut off by him.

"All you've done for months is mope around when it's not like the person you love died! He just left you. Draco left you, Gemma." Grant snapped at me, his eyes wide with unhinged rage.

I could feel tears prick at my eyes from Grant's cruel words, but I couldn't find any words to speak. As if I hadn't realized that Draco left me. As if I wasn't allowed to feel hurt.

"He isn't dead." Grant continued, his breathing quickly growing labored and broken. "H-he – Penelope is dead."

I rubbed my lips together, breathing in deeply through my nose as I rose to my feet. I stood in the middle of the room, a few steps away from my brother. "He may not be dead." I finally whispered shakily, "But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to hurt. He wasn't killed, he chose to leave me behind after making me believe that he wanted to be with me forever."

Grant just scoffed at me, his face twisting together in a mixture of anger and hurt. "Poor little Gemma. Left behind to lick her wounds." He sneered, not meeting my gaze. And then, just like that, Grant was breaking down into heart-wrenching sobs.

Despite the things he had said to me, I was immediately rushing forward to pull my brother into my arms. He tried to fight me off at first, but then he gave in. He clutched onto me tightly, his sobs echoing throughout the room.

"I'm so sorry, Grant." I whispered to him, hugging him tightly to me as his body shook in my arms. "I'm so, so sorry."

Sometimes I was too caught up in my own pain and heartache that I forgot that I wasn't the only one hurting. Especially with Grant spending the majority of the summer hiding away in his bedroom, it was easy to get lost in my own despair and feel isolated in my thoughts.

* * *

The day came that Grant was returning to Hogwarts for his sixth year. I hadn't touched the piano since the day he'd yelled at me, not wanting to set him off with another song that radiated the hurt I felt.

"Gemma, we're leaving. Do you want to come with?" My mother asked, standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

"No." I said quietly, wringing my fingers. I couldn't go. I couldn't stare at the train and all the students returning to Hogwarts. I couldn't look at the excited and nervous first years who didn't know the horrors that followed the last time I boarded that train.

"Okay." My mother nodded, "At least come downstairs to say goodbye."

I gave my brother a tight hug, "Promise you'll write me?"

"I promise." Grant replied, peeling himself out of my grip.

I stood alone in the living room following the disapparation of my parents and Grant, rubbing my arms as a chill of loneliness ran down my spine. I could only imagine how Grant must feel about returning to Hogwarts following everything, and a part of me wished he wasn't going back. I'd rather have my brother here with me. Partially so that my parents' attention wouldn't only be on me, but also because the house already felt emptier with him gone.